Monday, June 21, 2010

If... (Celebrity Edition)

If...

A tree had fallen on Tyra Bank's talk show, would anyone have seen it?

A twig fell on Tyra Banks, would we be able to tell which one is the Tyra?

Tyra Banks fell from a tree in the forest, would anyone care?

If...

Kevin Bacon had a temperature of 102, would he play the game "102 degrees of Kevin Bacon"?

Brittney Spears had really gone barefoot in a gas station bathroom, is there really a disease she could have contracted that she didn't already have?

Jenny McCarthy's kids had not received their immunizations, would her 15 minutes be already up?

If...

Tori Spelling actually had to spell, would she survive it?

Richard Simmons was not gay or greasy would he just be another Subway mascot?

Sinead O' Connor had not been bald, would she have been my waitress at Denny's or my dry cleaning lady?

If...

Miley Cyrus had sung "Achy Breaky Heart", instead of her dad, would they BOTH be laughing stocks now?

Jillian from "The Biggest Loser" would just come out and admit she was a man, wouldn't the ratings skyrocket?

Jewel, Uncle Cracker, Hootie from the Blowfish, Kid Rock, Nickelback and Jessica Simpson had not sucked so bad at singing regular music, would they have also ruined country music too?

43 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Was country music ever not ruined?

Melissa@Suger Coat It said...

Mean. Really, really funny... And mean. :oD

Writing Without Periods! said...

I am totally in love with Kevin Bacon. My heart is a flutter that you mentioned him.
I'm upset now that he has a temperture.
Mary

Gigi said...

Aw, Brit Brit is such great blog fodder. I love this post!

Amy said...

I've pondered the same thing about Miley and Billy Ray too. I have long had my fill of Miss Miley.

mintifresh said...

You've given me much to ponder about tonight...and to giggle about..;)

woman:confused said...

bwahhahaa!!
Can I steal some of these for my FB?

and please come back to my blog and say what you were ACTUALLY thinking...

Connie said...

If I had gone to bed when I should have, would I have missed this post like I've missed your last 2? Glad I didn't walk into the bathroom after Britt did!

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

No, Yes, No, No, Yes...These are all equally hilarious, and very astute questions. I'd like to see Jillian come out as a man.
Cheers,
xoRobyn

Nikki said...

HAHAHAHHA!!! So funny!

MiMi said...

Ahh! LOL
The one about Britney Spears really cracks me up!

W.C.Camp said...

First of all, you have to tell me what country you are talking about and then I will tell you if the music ruined it. W.C.C.

Cruella Collett said...

Actually, I think Tyra Banks would look like two twigs compared to most of the women(?) she has on that other show of hers, the one someone occasionally do watch. But if she fell from a tree I can't imagine that Tori would spell.

My mind is still aching from thinking about the Sinead one...

ScoMan said...

I'll laugh at a good joke about Miley Cyrus, Kevin Bacon, Tyra Banks, Britney Spears, Tori Spelling, Sinead O'Connor, Jenny McCarthy, Richard Simmons, Jewel, Uncle Cracker, Hootie and the Blowfish, Nickleback and Jessica Simpson.. but I will NOT sit idly by while you make fun of Kid Rock.

He had a good song.

Mr. Stupid said...

These were all hilarious. The ones about Tyra Banks and Britney Spears had me laughing out loud.

Michele said...

Re: your new poll. Where is the option "6 feet"?

Bits-n-Pieces said...

now that's some stuff to think about!

Queenie Jeannie said...

Hey! I like Nickelback!!

The rest was pretty funny though. I loath Tyra!!!!!

Marnie said...

You've had me chuckling like Beavis and Butthead!

Dazee Dreamer said...

THose were hilarious. omg,

Kelly said...

So funny! I liked the Kevin Bacon one best. You have a weird gift and I am glad to see you are not wasting it on mindless stupid stuff.

baygirl32 said...

Too funny!

The Invisible Seductress said...

My life will never be the same after this post!! ;)

Marlene said...

Giggled out loud at the reference to Brittney. :)

Pearl said...

You're a funny man.

:-D

Pearl

Aunt of 14 said...

If Jillian admitted that she was a man.... she would FINALLY make sense!!!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I think 102 degrees of Kevin Bacon would be too easy...

Jillybean said...

I never did like Miley, and that was even before the inappropriate photo shoots.
Perhaps Brittney is the one who is spreading the diseases on the floors of gas station bathrooms.
Jillian recently said that she was going to adopt a baby instead of having one herself. She said it was because she "wouldn't do THAT to her body" however, I think you might have found the real reason.....
And I agree with Kristina on the country music.

lisleman said...

I don't follow this celebrity crap much. Also, I wish Americans could get off our celebrity addiction it's almost as bad as foreign oil.

I think you commented that you didn't like John Denver so here's one you shouldn't listen to -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1U6i6AdQjo

CW music always has such great messages.

Sam Liu said...

Hilarious! Indeed, these are the big and important questions facing our modern day society :D

T said...

every bit of it funny... but Country music doesn't need any more ruining... it's pretty bad already.

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

I'm pretty sure the answer to the majority of these is a resounding YES!!!

I need to come by here more often, I always leave in a better mood! Thanks, Cheese!!

lori said...

Jillian scares me.
I like most of those country singers, though. I must suck.

Krista said...

All true points. If people weren't so stupid, would Obama be president? Sorry, just going with the spirit of the obvious.

Hutch said...

If Tori Spelling was asked to eat an entire hamburger on camera, would she do it?

Karen said...

Cheese dude, I so agree. They are NOT country. Uggggh.

Hope Chella said...

I love this!!!!! Funny about the immunizations! :)

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Richard Simmons? *snort* If he ever becomes a Subway mascot, i'll stop eating at Subway.
Then I'll get fat.

The Empress said...

HeeHee! Those are great!

Unknown Mami said...

Bube! Jillian is so manish!!! I'm going to start playing 6 degrees of Paul Rudd because I swear he's been in more movies than Kevin Bacon at this point.

Mohamed Mughal said...

These are some Nietzschean questions...I'll have to ponder...

sammy said...

lol!...sinead o'connor

i honestly dont know what to make of jillian. she's kinda cute, but then there's that whole possibly having the same 'parts' as me.

Marla said...

I am staying on your good side. You have a good side, right?