Tuesday, June 22, 2010
My email to the Professiona Mini Golf Association
Dearest Professional Mini Golf Association (PMGA),
I have a mini golf query of the utmost importance that needs an immediate answer:
If a ball lands in the path of a windmill and is subsequently jolted into the forest by a swinging arm, can the player return the ball to the original spot or do they have to rehit?
My brother (who is new to the sport and also gets his b's and d's mixed up, even though he is nearly 30) says that you get to rehit, but then I say NO BROTHER - THAT IS NOT THE RULES!
Then, we argue for a long time and there are all these people on the course waiting for us to hit. We had to ask the ranger for the rules, but she was busy handing out those colorful balls and getting soda for this dopey, mop haired kid. Finally, she's all like, "I don't know, I am only 16. Will you leave me alone?"
That brings me to another question, who are these courses hiring? I thought you had to have a pro on staff.
So my brother's all like, "Bube, you HAVE to rehit. I know the rules from that dig tournament I playeb last Septemder."
Here's the kicker - he didn't play in no stinkin tournament! We live in Saskatuan (it's in Canada) and the only tournaments we have here is bird calling and Rick wins every year. (On account of his mustache makes a wheezing sound like a pelican when he squeals.)
So, we would be much obliged if you would help us settle this little bet of ours. (This is not a real bet. Betting is illegal in Saskatuan, unless it is on the pelican call contest, in which case, I would put my money on Rick, on account of the mustache.)
My brother's all, "I'll kick your bamned dutt if I am right!" I really hope he is wrong, because he weighs 362 pounds and is Tongan.