Friday, June 25, 2010

A Question and Answer session with Cheeseboy, Part III

As the Blog O' Cheese has become more popular, I have been getting more email than I can answer.  However, there does seem to be some questions with some common themes.  I will attempt to answer a few of the more pressing queries.

This one comes to us from Gretta Ironclad from Eavesspires, CN:

What does your wife think of all this blogging you are doing?

My wife thinks I am spending all this time online playing  BUNCO with my guy pals.  She is okay with it as long as she gets a residual check at the end of each month.  So far, I have told her that I have had horrible luck and I just can't buy a hand.

I think she is onto me because yesterday she asked me what BUNCO stood for and I said, "Brave Unicorns Never Charge Ostriches".  Which is actually a true statement because the ostrich is actually a mythical animal full of truth and love.  Everyone knows a unicorn would never hurt an ostrich.

I think she bought it.

We have here an email from Elantra Meterton of Ralph Rapids, MI:

If you could eat dinner with any 5 living people, who would it be?

This one is easy and I have actually given it a lot of thought.  I'd definitely say I'd have the best conversation with: Kate Gosselin, Dustin Diamond, Abe Vigoda, 50Cent, Barbara Walters and that guy that sent his son up in a hot air balloon.

If I were asked which five dead people I would most likely have dinner with, I'd probably pick people that have died really recently so I wouldn't have to look at their decaying bodies while eating dinner.  That would just be gross.

Email from Cale Alderpants of Sandy Hollow, WV:

Any word on when production of "Blog O' Cheese, the Movie" begins?

We've dotted the I's and crossed the T's, but we still have some lower case J's to dot and some of my F's need tops of them. (A horrible handwriting habit I developed in the third grade.)

The movie is coming along fine. Keanu Reeves has actually agreed to play me and... I think I smell Oscar!  After all, Sandra Bullock won last year and it opened up new doors to crappy actors.  The only problem is the budget.  We have approximately $79, and that is BEFORE I give my wife $25 in fake BUNCO winnings.

Fortunately, Keanu has agreed to work for free because he thinks we are actually making a fourth Matrix movie.

37 comments:

tammy said...

Good choice on choosing only recently departed dead people to dine with. Kind of like the dream I had where I told my dead cousin I didn't want to go to the haunted house with her because, duh, she was dead.

I'm pretty sure if you live in Utah, you're not allowed to play bunco.

Silver Strands said...

I zipped over because of the comment you left on my blog and I'm laughing right out loud. My kids and husband are now reading over my shoulder. I'm your NEWEST FOLLOWER ... just cuz laughing burns calories.

Thanks for the visit - come back often, and bring your wife :)
Denalee

Amy said...

Just wondering if there are parts in this movie for commenters like myself? I've always wanted a taste of Hollywood! ;)

Joann Mannix said...

Abe Vigoda. Still alive?

Oh No! My daughter just said the worst thing in the world to me. She was looking over my shoulder as I read your blog. She saw the picture of the antichrist, Everybody hates Kate and said, "I thought that was you."

Huh?

I do not have a reverse mullet or bad dancing skills.

What were you posting about? I can't remember, I'm so traumatized.

lisleman said...

so the movie will go further than the truck clip did?

what's with your readers having others looking over there shoulder??

You should have a warning that your blog should only be read while in the closet or some other dark room. That's when I read it.

Lene said...

Unless you pick people that died so long ago that all is left is a skeleton...oh nevermind, they would take a bite and swallow and it would fall all over the floor. Just stick with the living.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

You wouldn't believe this, Cheeseboy: Kate Gosselin is looking over my shoulder. She mentioned something to the effect of Keanu wanting her, and she wants a part in your movie. She's going to discuss that with you over lunch whenever Barbara Walters shuts up. Good luck!
xoRobyn

lori said...

At first I thought the pic was your wife and the face she made when you told her the ostrich story...or the thought of a 4th Matrix movie.

The Empress said...

Well of course keaneau said yes. He knew he'd have to snag it before tom cruise got wind of it.

T said...

I hate to be the one to point out that you chose 6 living people to eat with... you know that once your party gets that big they just automatically add the tip to the check...

maybe Kate will offer to pay though?

Dolly said...

Ha! Good laugh:) My hubby thinks I'm just hanging out on facebook all night...but actually, I've been catching up on old stories here. My favorite so far is the story about nursing moms-hilarious. Good lyrics for Bohemian Rhapsody also!

W.C.Camp said...

Oh please please, can I be the Velveeta cheese in the movie. I prefer that role over the much harder edged ones, like swiss cheddar. W.C.C.

P.S. I smell oscar too ... do you think it is something he ate?

Powdered Toast Man said...

Can I play BUNCO with you? I need something to replace my Chutes and ladders addiction.

Mamma has spoken said...

I DO play BUNKO but it is the dice game bunko. It is a mindless, talentless game that needs no skills excuse to get out of the house once a month to be with 11 girlfriends game. We play for prizes that the hostess bought. This might be a use for some of those wonderful teacher gifts you get and wonder if you would ever use them.

Everyday Goddess said...

The dinner with the living people sounds like one I'd like to attend!

BTW, I gave you an award for your earlier post on that hellish marathon relay thing you did. Astounding!

Pedaling said...

Micheal Jackson, yeah, he hasn't been dead too long.
I know a couple good fund raising dudes for the right investment...I'll tell 'em about your movie in the works.

mama-face said...

Okay... I was already lol-ing to myself and then I read that Keanu Reeves is playing you in your upcoming film. more and better LOL-ing.

Type casting?

(your readers have some strange and clever names/hometowns).

Unknown Mami said...

Can I be in your movie? I'm a SAG actor, but I'm sure we could work something out and I could get paid in the back end after the movie comes out and makes hundreds. I just really want the chance to meet Burt Reynolds.

Marnie said...

Yes the stink factor with old dead famous people would be rank and interfere with eating. Good answer :0)

Zaedah said...

My unicorn has taken mild offense to the presumption that he'd never hurt an ostrich. He delivered a discourse on the virtues of bird-hunting when you're a being with a spiked implement on your head...

One Cluttered Brain said...

I would totally pay money to see the Blog O cheese movie!!
That'd ROCK!! YAY!

I hope your wife always allows you to blog. You are so freaking hilarious I love it!!!
Makes the blog o sphere so nice...

Lori said...

Oh great....Keanu Reeves. My husband hates that guy. I don't know if we'll be seeing it.

And, I'm sure Cathi has a secret life on the side that YOU know nothing about as well! That's probably why she was so quick to pretend to buy your Ostrich story.

Saimi said...

Don't be fooled, your wife is so on to you, she's just letting you think she doesn't. That's what a good wife does!

I'm blogging at www.mydogarchie.blogspot.com since preschool is over for the summer.

Stop by and visit!

Sam Liu said...

These emails illustrate a brilliant touch of comedic genius! Each post is a laugh-out-loud delight, and this is not exception, Cheeseboy :D

Writing Without Periods! said...

A movie!!!! Okay I want to be an old lady fan!!!
You are so funny.
Mary

Gigi said...

"I'm playing Bunco" should be a woman's first sign of a husband being up to no good :)

Beth Zimmerman said...

The dining with dead people line resulted in Diet Coke on my monitor! Thanks! :)

mintifresh said...

If you haven't seen Keanu do Shakespeare, well you just haven't lived!

Pat said...

Wait. You can play Bunco on line?

Nancy C said...

Well, who wouldn't want to dine with Screech? Seriously.

MiMi said...

Abe Vigoda?! LOL

sammy said...

wow dustin diamond? that guy seems awfully creepy to me. like he'd be a jerk in real life.

Teachinfourth said...

Jessica Alba could also make a great leading lady in the epic film. Let me know if you need extras; I was one in High School Musical III.

Totally not kidding on that one.

M-Cat said...

Wait a minute partner - did you mention Sandra Bullock and bad actors in the same sentence? C'mon....who doesn't love the Sandy?

I like the Q & A format!

elesa said...

I'm really sorry to hear about your handwriting problem. Sloppy Fs have been the cause of miscommunications resulting in divorce, war, tears and even war.

I have a lot more very important things to say along these lines, but I will have to save it for another day.

Charlotte said...

Now you have me questioning my husband's scrapbooking nights. Surely he says he got gossiping so much he didn't finish a page?

Marla said...

Kate Gosselin? Oy!!