Monday, May 10, 2010

PLEASE help me decide if I need HD sunglasses.


Mother's Day was a special day for me. I let my wife sleep in while I fed the boys a bowl full of sugar mixed with a couple grains of cold cereal.

After a healthy breakfast of Sunny D (we were out of "purple stuff") and Fruity O's, we hit the couch for some father son television watching bonding time. Fortunately, Cartoon Network was hosting an all day marathon of Scoobie Doo movies. We were halfway through "Scoobie Doo and the Mystery of the Overanxious Soccer Moms" when this amazing commercial came on:








Now, perhaps am late to the game - as is often the case - and everyone has seen or heard of this fancy, shiny eye-wear. Nevertheless, I saw these glasses and immediately wanted them like I want a Volkswagon Bus painted like a cartoon taxi. I mean, I like watching my HD TV, but what if everywhere I looked was like watching my HD TV?

My life is so incredibly dull. What I want is some clarity, contrast, color and other such settings that I can adjust on my television.

Before I buy these HD sunglasses, I need two things: 1. Your opinion. 2. The following questions answered:

- Do the HD glasses actually make your life more vibrant or just the things you look at?

- What happens if you wear the HD glasses while watching your HD television? Will your brain explode?

- If they are "Euro-style", does that mean I have to start liking techno, going to underground clubs and wearing ultra-skinny jeans?

- Do I have to buy one of those $80 cords to make them work like I did my TV?

-The sunglasses I have now make my world 3D. Everything in the real world is in 3D when I wear them. Will these glasses do that too?

- If I drive a black van, will people mistake me for a rapist?

- I don't want them if I have to wear them when looking in the mirror.

- Are they really worth $10.00 each?! My sunglasses I own now cost $5.

- Is the included visor clip also in HD?

- According to this commercial, I should really take these golfing. Will they help me find my ball when I hit it into the forest?

- Will the HD sunglasses make me more attractive to my wife? (Wait, that was just answered: No. No, in fact, they will make me less attractive to my wife.)

So, what are your thoughts?

55 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Your new man friend, Charlie, drives what we like to call The Kidnapper Van. He was posing in it, for the t-shirt pics, so the molester vibe was in full force.

I think he needs these glasses to go with the van and his Mexican blankets he has in it.

Chaka said...

I also usually invest in 3 or 4 pair of the $5 glasses. It hate losing or breaking nice ones. I can only imagine how bad it would be to lose such fancy HD glasses, but I think you should go for it.

Ces't La Vie said...

yes, they will in fact fill your soul with sunshine. you are lucky to have found such a luxury. get them quick, my friend, before it's too late....

DUN DUN dunnnnnnnn

Hope Chella said...

I bought one of those As Seen on TV purses for all of my stuff a year 1/2 ago and have used it once. I guess I hoped that it would make my stuff not only compact but lightweight too!!! I am not sure about those glasses!?!? I'm all about Costa Del Mar Sunglasses =)

Hope Chella said...

I think Ces't La Vie might be onto something though? :)

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

All I have to say is WHEN you get them, I fully expect to see a picture complete with skinny jeans.

The Invisible Seductress said...

I asked the magic 8 ball if you should and it read:

It is decidedly so...

Can't question the power of the Magic 8 ball can ya?

Mamma has spoken said...

Don't you have one of those 'AS SEEN ON TV' stores at your local mall? We do it's called Wallgreens. I would try them first if you REALLY want a pair, or at least, you can return them if it doesn't work out for ya.
Sons swear by their expense sunglasses that oldest can get because he is military. I have no clue due to wearing perscription glasses, but maybe you can find someone to get you a pair of them ;o)

Beth said...

Looks to me like something every self-respecting super-hero needs!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Not sure I'd chance the brain exploding. Melting - yes. Exploding - sounds permanent.

lisleman said...

But wait, that's not all -
comment on my blog now and get

oh I don't know a free pencil?

That's one of the dumbest ads I've seen in some time.

The Church Lady said...

Yes, oh yes you should most definitely purchase a pair of HD sunglasses. They really are awesome. I own a pair.....

Lisa Loo said...

I just think they must have yanked a few brain cells out with those hairballs yesterday.

Do they make you think in HD? I would definitely get them if they make you think in HD.

FabuLeslie said...

Ummm, did anyone else hear the woman around second 53-58 say "these sungassies..." with a long e at the end? She did. Listen again if you missed it. I'm gonna go do it again right now. Seriously. That is awesome, CB. Thanks for another weird item for sale. Like Pajamajeans! Did your wife say she wants some?

Katie's Dailies said...

Let me ask you this: do you really need more clairity in your life? Do you need more definition? If yes, then buy them! If not, then continue watching Scooby Doo and the Mystery of the Soccer Moms. We will now resume our scheduled programming.

MiMi said...

Yes. You have to get these.
I have to get the Silver Bullet mixer.
And we ALL need a snuggie.
Any more questions?

See Mom Smile said...

Well, soon you'll need the glasses to read my blog so they are well worth the $10.

VKT said...

Yes to all of the above! Just think how impressed your first graders will be when you wear them during class!

onlyoublog said...

I say get them, and then blog about them. Who knows - maybe you can even earn some kind of sponsorship or commission if you start a trend!

Joann Mannix said...

I don't care if you get the sunglasses, although a lot of people look pretty scary in high definition. So, if you want to be scared, a lot, then buy them.

But, if you start wearing skinny jeans, I will hunt you down, take your U2 tickets away, and then push you over a cliff. I'll make sure I have the U2 tickets first.

No. Skinny. Jeans.

It's one of the two reasons I hate The Jonas Brothers with all my heart.

But, if you do order from the As Seen On TV site, pick me up one of those dog nail trimming things. It just kind of sands your dog's nails down. I need that so bad. My puppies nails are like talons that they like to rake over me. I am so scratched up, people are starting to think my husband is whipping me and not in a good way.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I will continue to vote for "nothing" just as I voted for "Intercourse PA!"
;)

Yay for letting your wife sleep in....

Krista said...

I have never bought anything from TV that has been great. DON'T DO IT! Unless they promise to make all your dreams come true - then do it!

Diane J. said...

Hey Cheeseboy! I had to go and stretch the limits on tagging people, so you've been tagged in the Five Things, but you were number 6, because, well...I just have to push limits...that and you're too funny to not mention.

Ally said...

Don't waste your money. Everything I've ever own from an As Seen on TV ad sucked... I can't think of one thing that worked. We were big Billy Mays fans too and their NJ office is about ten minutes from us. I can totally picture my husband wanting these, he's obsessed with HDTV!

Vagabond Teacher said...

How do those glasses work for those of us who are visually challenged? Without contacts, the world is like an Impressionist painting...w/o contacts but with hi-def glasses...this may require some investigation...

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

I couldn't tell if any of those people wearing them actually have eyes. I think that if you do have eyes, Cheeseboy, you should not get them.
Robyn

järnebrand said...

If they're really Euro-style, why, yes, you will have to wear those ultra-skinny jeans too. That's how it works. :)

myimaginaryblog said...

If you watch closely around :42, you'll see that they'll also cause you to pronounce the word as "sunglasseez." Which is obviously a lot more classy.

myimaginaryblog said...

Ah, now I see that FabuLeslie made the same observation I did. Which means that only two of your readers are really paying attention.

Speaking of which, it's been bothering me a LOT to know whether you went ahead and got the other nostril cleaned. Because, yeah, maybe the first one hurt a little, but clearly it NEEDED it. And I keep thinking of that fur ball still being lodged in your other nostril and the dangerous asymmetry is killing me. Kind of like it will kill you if you don't get it taken care of.

Mr. Stupid said...

OMG. HD glasses? Get them before others start talking that they couldn't see a thing.
Helping you to avoid looking at the dull things all around!:)

ScoMan said...

I'm lucky because I have poor vision, so when I put on my glasses it's like moving into HD.

But my glasses cost like $400, not $10.

I feel ripped off.

And yes, if you wear them in a black van, you will look like a rapist.

Kelly said...

The visor clip really tipped the scales for me. Also it looked like only really attractive people wear them. So decide where you rank on that scale and follow your heart.

Adoption of Jane said...

LMAO!

smArtee said...

Despite what Joanne said...I want to see you in the skinny jeans...with the glasses on...but dont wear that to school...you may frighten the children...as for your wife...it could be a fun night of roll playing...Wooo Hooo...in 3D...like Avatar meets Cheese-boy-band.....

Dave said...

Is buying these even a question? Not only can you see in HD with them, but according to the 0:28 mark, you can also shoot some some sort of laser beam or heat vision out of them.

tiburon said...

I am a fan of anything that doesn't involve sticking my fingers in my eye. So if I have the option for HD glasses, I will take them over HD contacts...

The Empress said...

One word:

Yes.

tammy said...

I'm gonna go with YES.

VKT said...

There is an award for you on my blog cheesie one....go grab it.

lindsey v said...

So THAT'S what I need to be able to see through my dirty windshield.

MBGITWWR said...

As far as the HD glasses go... they might make me motion sick (even though I have no problem with motion now). Who knows, maybe you're life will be enhanced. I would much rather enhance my life by purchasing the Hawaii Chair.

http://thehawaiichair.com/

Local Natives is a refreshing treat. Have you delved into The National, yet? They tend to drone a bit, but somedays...I like to drone. I have their album "Boxer" and hope to soon purchase their new one "High Violet." We'll see. Thanks for checking in.

mama-face said...

they will definitely make you look like a rapist. Anyone in a black van looks like a rapist.

And lucky...a scooby doo marathon?

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Oh my that is craziness! I like my world blurry though.

I had a very weak prescription once, but the doctor put in a prism and he said everything would pop after that and it did. It actually bothered me!

I have been commenting on a lot of blogs today and you are everywhere so I had to check you out! You have a great blog and I am a new follower!

MBGITWWR said...

Just checked out Editors - wicked good. MGMT - asi asi. I do like their songs, but I have to really be in that mind state. :) Shout Out Louds have a great sound. Thanks for sharing your insight. We are big music freaks in our house as well. So no offense possible. Ramble away! We've put musical ambition on the back burner at times and those times seem to be lacking - like life without HD sunglasses!

Eric said...

I don't know man, I think HD glasses might be on their way out, to be replaced by 3D glasses.

Hey, did you ever notice that the title 'Therapist' is basically 'The' and the other word?
Similar to how 'mankind' is both 'mank' and 'ind' and that is why we will never understand mankind.

Tree said...

Two for the price of one...and a free visor clip?! Awesome!! :)

If you do have to wear your ultra skinnies and go to an underground night club, you KNOW we will want photos (for blackmail, of course) LOL

Queenie Jeannie said...

Kristina P. is the expert on all things "As seen on TV". I defer to her judgment.

Pearl said...

When they come out with the sunglasses that make everything appear to be in 2D, I am all over those things...

Pearl

Lola Sharp said...

Dude, with that sexy visor clip, I think you gotta come off with some cheddar.

Bossy Betty said...

Oh yes. These are a definite fashion DO for you. After you get them you need to talk about them incessantly. People like that.

Copyboy said...

I can't tell you about the glasses. I can just tell you the giant pancake maker does NOT work!!!!

Just SO said...

Those are just pale, (I almost typed that pail), pale imitations of the Eagle Eye glasses.

Oh yes I did...I went there.

Do you remember those? Am I showing my age?

Teachinfourth said...

I don't know about the glasses, but Scooby Doo is the ultimate cartoon.

I really need to watch a few old episodes again…

Danielle said...

The answer to all those questions is "yes" BUT...have you ever seen the movie "They Live" (1988), if not, check it out, you may have a different perspective on fancy glasses....

SueLovesCherries said...

I think they're Blu-Blockers in disguise.