"Twilight Convention". The Twilight convention is a lot like a Star Wars convention, except that a bunch of obsessed, nerdy women go instead of men.
This is a conversation between the girls of Beverly Hills 90210 as they are getting ready to head to the convention.
I just completed this post and reread it and I have no idea if this is funny or just plain strange. I was going to just delete it, but I will let you, the Blog O' Cheese audience decide. Besides, just like episodes of 90210, they can't all be winners, right?
Donna: What do you think Kelly? Can I pull off the dark, mopey Bella sweatshirt look?
Kelly: Donna, please - you are Donna Martin! You can pull of any look you want.
Donna: [giggles] Maybe in 1990, but I am 38 years old now.
Andrea Zuckerman: COME ON YOU GUYS! Would you please stop chatting! We are going to be late for the first Volteri Vixen face painting. It's in the Forks Crossing room and I do not want to be late!
Kelly: How about me? Is my skin too sparkly?
Donna: Oh Kelly, we are going to the Twilight Convention. Everyone knows there is no such thing as "too sparkly".
Kelly: Tell that to Dylan. He is so mean to me sometimes. I just hate him!
Andrea Zuckerman: Seriously guys! Billy Burke - AKA - "Charlie Swan" is going to be signing posters in the Clearwater room in 20 minutes. If I miss that, I am going to go vampire-ape crazy both of you!
Donna: Steve kinda looks like a vampire. Do you think Steve could be a vampire?
Kelly: Sometimes you are such an idiot, Donna. Does Steve have FANGS?! Is Steve WHITE and PALE?! Does Steve have a SICKLY way about him?! Oh wait...
Andrea Zuckerman: You two are such... morons! PLEASE HURRY! The "Jacob Black chest rub" is in the Northwest wing at 2:00 and you two are still not dressed! Trust me, you do not want to miss that.
Donna: Are we going to go to the Peach Pit before? I'm hungry.
Kelly: You are always hungry Donna. Besides, I heard the "Esme Smoothies" at the convention's Bite Bar are awesome.
Donna: Maybe you can get by with a smoothie, but I need meat. Maybe a porterhouse.
Kelly: I wonder if David is going to DJ the convention?
Donna: I hope not. He's supposed to be watching the kids. Besides, I've told him over 100 times that being a DJ at 40 is just pathetic.
Andrea Zuckerman: WHAT ARE YOU TWO EVEN TALKING ABOUT? HURRY UP! If I miss the Cullen culinary vegetarian demonstration, these plastic fangs in my mouth will be shoved directly up...
Kelly: Where are the body sparkles? I just need to add a few more sparkles.
Donna: Do you think Brandon would be jealous if he saw you ogling at Jacob today?
Kelly: Brandon? No, he is a gentleman. Always has been. He's from Minnesota, you know.
Donna: Don't you guys think it is a little sad that we are 38 and going to the Twilight convention?
Kelly: Well, I bet we will be younger than most the women there.
Andrea Zuckerman: FINE, I AM LEAVING WITHOUT YOU! I want to be at the doors when it opens. I hear the first 2,000 people get a free bottle of Edward cologne, and one lucky winner will get acting lessons from Kristen Stewart.
[Slams door behind her]
Kelly: Donna, did you say something?
Donna: No. You?
Kelly: Nope. You ready to go?
Donna: Yeah, but I swear we are missing someone. Hm...
Kelly: BRENDA! Where's Brenda?!
Donna: We'll find her. She's probably at the bar with Dylan. Do I look okay?
Kelly: Donna, as always, you look like a large Haflinger horse.
Donna: Thanks Kelly. You've always been a good friend.