In case you haven't noticed, I'm not one for blogging games, topics, awards and especially memes. I hate the idea of being creatively chained or forced to write about a certain subject on a certain day. In fact, I don't know how many times my family or buddies will send me news items, jokes or pictures to blog about. Yet, while it would almost always make great blogging fodder, I feel a little awkward posting something that is not 100% mine.
(Except of course, music and video, which I happily post as if it were my own.)
Perhaps I am greedy? Perhaps I want blogging failures to be my blogging failures? Perhaps I am over-thinking all of this? I am not sure, but the fact remains: I do not like to be told what to post.
That being said, I have decided to participate today in a "tag". I have made this life-changing decision for four reasons:
1. I was tagged by Nikki, of Oxford, New Zealand. She owns and operates a blog known to the locals as "Wool'n'Nuts". (Not sure of the meaning of the name.) I have a theory regarding New Zealand: Do exactly as a New Zealander asks. Those that disobey are at risk of being swallowed by the Dark Lords of Mordor.
2. Nikki, of Oxford New Zealand, has a giant unicorn on her blog. Unicorns - as we all know - are the most powerful of the mythical creatures and could, without a doubt, kick the living crap out of a meekly pathetic dragon.
3. Niki owns bizarre New Zealand chickens and roosters which, I am afraid, will peck one's eyes out if one is unkind to their master.
4. Frankly, my last few posts have completely drained me creatively and my brain is screaming at me to be lazy.
Here we go... jump aboard and please... no flash photography.
1. Where were you five years ago?
B. Begging my wife for food at McDonalds.
D. Happy that "The Office" was actually funny.
E. Angry I spent $7.00 on "The Dukes of Hazard".
2. Where would you like to be in five years from now?
A. Hugh Hefner adult diaper designer.
B. Writing for Conan's new show.
C. Donkey Kong World Champion
D. Co-host of "Dancing with the Stars" with Brooke Burke
E. Flying ability.
3. What was on your to do list today?
A. Back wax.
B. "Bully Beatdown" audition.
C. Nightly 'kissing of the wife' rejection time.
D. Write to CBS to bring back "The Tony Danza Show".
E. Unicorn training.
4. What five snacks do you enjoy?
C. Prune juice and cabbage
D. Anything "pickled" that is not a pickle.
E. Windshield Bugs
5. What would you do if you were a billionaire?
A. Remodel every Target break room.
B. Pay for "Sparrow Boy" to get a sex change.
C. Purchase the Girl Scout Cookie company and sell them year round.
D. Set up an actual dragon v. unicorn fight to settle this nonsense once and for all.
E. Make school lunch edible.
In addition to being tagged, I have also received two blogging awards.
This one from Beth:
And this one from Flock of Fitzgeralds:
Not sure exactly what these mean, other than I am one cool hardcore sonofagun! I am hoping that these awards include a fruit basket or some man lotions. I'd love to get some fresh flowers for my dressing room too. I guess we'll see. At very least they could throw in a nice sculpted wooden duck for the den.
My sincere thanks to both of you!