Hey companies: I'd like to know... RESPONSES!

Okay folks, I have been laughing as these responses have been coming in today.  Some of them are truly classic!  This is what I have received so far:

To Swiss Army Knives:

Q: Do you guys carry a pocket knife with a pull-out vile that could carry water or blood in it?

A: Dear Abe,

Thank you for contacting Victorinox Swiss Army.  I apologize, but we do not have any Swis Army Knives that have a vile. 

Please contact us if you need further assistance.
 
Sincerely,

Victorinox Swiss Army Customer Service

To Stetson Cowboy Hats:

Q: Do you guys carry a specialized hat made for a more "urban" cowboy like myself?

 A: Abe,

A cowboy hat is a cowboy hat no matter what. As long as you like the hat, that is all that really matters. If I may make a suggestion I would recommend the Skyline it is available in a variety of colors.

 

Thanks,

Alex Rodriguez

Customer Service Mgr.

To Belts.com

Q: I just made yellow belt in karate and I would like to buy a regular belt to commemorate the event.  Do you have any belts in yellow?

A: only this nike belt

http://belts.com/nigosiswcuii4.html

 

To Tony Lama Boots:

Q: Do you guys carry a specialized boots made for a more "urban" cowboy like myself?

A: Abe,

 

Thank you for contacting Justin Brands.

What particular specifications are you looking for?

We appreciate your continued support of our brand.

Justin Brands Customer Service  

 

MY RESPONSE: I am looking for something that says "I'm a cowboy", but I don't want to scream "I'm THAT kind of cowboy".   Oh, and maybe something snakeskin.

 

To Crocs.com:

Q: Which croc would you recommend for someone that does a lot of farming? (NOT farmville!!! Mostly pig, but some corn.) 

 

A: Dear Abe,

 

Thank you for your inquiry, I apologize for the delay in response. Crocs has a variety of shoes that I think would work well for your needs. You could try the “Bistro” which is a clog-like style that has no holes or vents and a non-slip sole. The enclosed design will prevent any outside debris from getting inside the shoe and causing annoyance. You could also try the Crocband Sneaker, which is brand new to the Crocs family and is not only stylish but completely enclosed and extremely comfortable and light weight. The “Specialist” would also be a good choice, it also does not have any holes, is a clog-like style and is very comfortable. I hope you like some of these shoes, if not I would be sure to check out our “Work” line on www.crocs.com and see if you can find another style that you feel might suite your needs better.

 

If you have any further questions or concerns, please feel free to email me.

 

Thank you.

 

Best Regards,

 

Shanna Cronin

Consumer Service Associate 1A

AND FINALLY, To Ann Taylor:

Q: Is the "faux fur" on your coats made from real faux?

A: Dear Ms. Abe:
 

Thank you for your inquiry regarding the definition of "Faux Fur". Upon further research, I found the definition of "Faux", (fo) is false or counterfeit, imitation; used in connection with gems, pearls, leathers and fur coats. Therefore, you may be assured that the merchandise is not made from animals.

You may also find many classic styles in our Ann Taylor stores and at anntaylor.com. If you would like additional information, please call us at 1 800 DIAL ANN and a Client Associate would be delighted to answer any further questions and assist you in placing an order.

Thank you for choosing Ann Taylor. We look forward to meeting all of your future wardrobing needs. If we can provide further assistance or if you have any additional questions, please contact us via e-mail at clientservices@anntaylor.com or call us at 1 800 DIAL ANN (1.800.342.5266). We are available Monday through Friday from 9:00 am to 9:00 pm EST, Saturday and Sunday from 9:00 am to 5:30 pm EST.
 

Sincerely,

Regina Betts
Client Associate
Ann Taylor Client Services