Friday, March 13, 2009

The Potent Majesty that is The Samoa Cookie

The Samoa cookie.  I think that the only question that remains is: was it created by God or just one of God's right hand men - or should I say one of God's right hand girl.. scouts.
The great thing about the Samoa is that it has every food group in every cookie - dairy, fruit, grains and meat.  (They are called "Samoas" for a reason you know.)  Three cookies and you have yourself a full course meal.  You could live for a full year on 50 boxes. 
As one that is not a huge fan of coconut, I'd like to say, thank you coconut, for finally making something of your life.  You know those loser husbands that always say, "My wife makes me a better man."?  It's the same thing for the Samoa cookie - the cookie makes the coconut a better fruit.
The chocolate stripes over a hearty body is something those foolish cookie tree elves can still never master.  The cookie crisp middle makes the Twix candybar quiver with jealousy.  The caramel is mixed in the gold pots of the Caramel (by the sea) Indian Tribe of Northern California.  Each ingredient stands alone, but combined it is cookie ecstasy.
I once had a Samoan aide and I told her that I would love to visit the island - if only for all the cookies.  I imagined that the cookies were just falling from trees, or at the very least offered at the local grocers for much less than the normal $3.50 per box asking price.  I was jiggered and thunderstruck to learn that she had never even eaten a Somoa cookie before coming to the United States!  Further, when she came here and finally ate a Somoa cookie, she didn't even like them.  Blasphemy!  That would be like me not enjoying a good potato pancake or David Hasselhoff hating eating hamburgers off his living room floor.  There are just some cultures and foods that will be forever married through time and eternity.
So thank you Girl Scouts.  Thank you for standing outside Albertsons.  Thank you for bothering me in my classroom every year.  Thank you for well, just being.  I know nothing about your little legions of green clad squirts, but if anything, you are making the world a better place by providing Samoas.  
**Note:  This year, I did not receive my usual visit from the Girl Scouts after school to sell me cookies.  I was forced to stand in line outside Albertsons like the other ordinary, run-of-the-mill losers with delicious coco-coconut-caramel crisp on his mind.  When I finally reached the front, I noticed that the Samoas were gone.  Fortunately, the kindhearted 45 year old woman wearing a green beret and Girl Scout sash, reached down and grabbed the last two boxes.  My weekend was saved.  
One last thing: I think it the answer to my first question is God.  God made the Samoa cookie.  God's helpers make the Thin Mints.

9 comments:

Lori said...

What? Did I miss the girl scout cookie sale?

I love Samoa's too! One year, they ran a special with Samoa Cookie ice cream at some of the grocery stores. Yum!

Cathi said...

You can probably go to Albertsons or somewhere tomorrow. Check out this website:http://www.gsutah.org/programs/booth_locations.php

They are selling them from March 13-29.

Cathi said...

www.gsutah.org/programs/booth_locations.php

Here it is again.

Katie said...

You should have gone to the St. Olaf's parking lot in Bountiful. They had tons of boxes of Samoas and we got 4! (Along with 4 boxes of Thin Mints and 2 boxes of Tagalongs. Yep, we're going to be eating GS cookies for a long time!)

Tammy said...

I must have missed the sale too! Which is a blessing for me :)

Sorry Abe but I hate the Somoa Cookies. Yuck!

tim and brandi said...

I think they're calling them "carmel delights" or something like that now. I didn't even notice until I had finished an entire box. And Lori, we have that ice cream here - my only wish is that they put bigger chunks of the cookies in it.

~b

Oh yeah, and Abe, what ingredient are you considering to be in the "meat" group?

Cheeseboy said...

Katie - What is St. Olaf's? Is that a church? Next time I'll have Jana pick some up for me.

Brandi - just checked our box and it still says Samoa on it. Remember, Utah is full of Somoans. Oh, and the ingredient from the "meat" category is actual Samoans. I should have made that more clear.

Tammy - That is blasphemy you speak. BLASPHEMY!

Coombs Family said...

Abe, I stopped by St. Olaf's today and all the Samoa cookies were GONE. So, don't waste your gas money.

Katie said...

St. Olaf's is a private school on 1800 S and Orchard Drive, I think it's Catholic.