Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Cheeseboy's Five Essential Life Spices for Blessed Bliss (Only $19.99)

Just as Steven R. Covey came out with his 7 Habits of Highly Successful Richyness and and Barney Meltzer released Ten Rules of High Performance Living  - I, Cheeseboy, have plotted my own set of guidelines to acquire a lifetime worth of money and glee.   I simply call it: Cheeseboy's Five Essential Life Spices for Blessed Bliss.  Followers of my plan need to simply add five essential spicy traits to their everyday life and they will soon be happy and rich beyond their wildest imaginations.  By purchasing my book for $19.99 (not really a book, more like a pamphlet - an extravagant, highly useful pamphlet), readers will learn the 5 essential "spices" of life.  Including:
1. Poshness (Refinement and high heeled footwear)
2. Scariness (An aggressive attitude and voluminously curly hair)
3. Baby-ness (Youthfulness, innocence, energy and pigtails)
4. Sportiness (Toughness, competitiveness and a tight fitting tracksuit)
5. Gingerness (Liveliness, zest and flaming red hair)
The pamphlet contains vital directions on how to add these sweet, saucy spices and succeed in life.  Examples of instruction include:
  • How to marry a famous soccer player.
  • How to get people to tell you what you want, what you really, really want.
  • How to get with my friends.
  • How to zig-a-zig ha.
  • How to spice up your life. 
  • How to give everything that joy can bring, yes I swear.
  • How to gain popularity, fame and fortune with very little talent.
  • How to obtain Girl (or Boy) Power. 
I for one, have begun sprinkling a little ginger spice into my morning routine and I have found that my zest appeal has shot through the roof.  At night, I shake a little Sporty Spice on my salad and I find myself wanting to fistfight passersby.  Before I go to bed, I take a Scary Spice capsule and when I wake up, I have to straighten my hair.
Everyday, people on the street come up to me and ask, "Cheeseboy, you are filled with such vigor and joy.  What's your secret?"  I explain that they can read it all in my new book-phlet for an easy $19.99.  These British chicks tried my program and just look how happy they are!

Call now and I will even throw in a CDR copy of Spice motivational tunes for you to enjoy while running on the treadmill or eating a loaf of bread. So call now!

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