Friday, April 25, 2008

To beard or not to beard?

I have been blessed with the gift of hair. It covers my body like a woven blanket of shag. I enjoy my hair in some places, but in others it becomes a nuisance. I am so hairy, King Kong once jumped out of my chest and said, "God Bless America!". I am so hairy I make Chewbaca look like he is balding. I am so hairy, when I make dinner, Cathi gets grossed out when she gets a food in her hair. I am so hairy that kids will stop me on the street to pet me. I am so hairy...well you get the picture.

I have been called a gorilla, dog and even werewolf by my students. They are usually looking at my arms when they make these kind comments.

One benefit to all this hair is that I can grow a pretty thick beard. I have on several occasions made a valiant attempt at one. Unfortunately, there is a very awkward period of growth between week 1 and 2. During the first week, it looks very cool. However, during the second week, it looks like I spilled plastic ants coated with honey all over my face. It is what some might refer to as a "half beard". Finally, in week 3, I have a nicely formed array o f hair. I like to refer to it as "The Gucci of beards".

Cathi hates my beard. She complains of the pokey and prickly feel. She rarely kisses me. I like the look but it clearly has it's pros and cons. Not being kissed by my wife is clearly a con. I have been thinking of another attempt. We shall see!


Tammy said...

I've been thinking and thinking and I cannot recall ever seeing you with a beard or anything close to it????

I dare you to try it!!

The Yospe's said...

they made reference to the "half beard" on the office Thursday. Ryan had one.

Cheeseboy said...

Yes, the half beard from the office is why I mentioned it.