Monday, April 7, 2008

The meanest thing I have ever done.

Jordan's blog about "The Office" got me thinking about all the stupid things I did during my time working in an office while going through college.  I could never work in an office, it was just so boring.  My job now never has a dull moment.  Being  cooped up in that office with only a limited amount of work to do made me crazy. Thus, I did crazy things.  Let me provide you with an example.

The office had just received brand new Gateway computers.  As a result, we had approximately 20 large computer boxes stacked by the door.  I believe that Gateway's logo is a cow pattern or something, I am not sure.  I just know that these boxes were all black and white in a cow pattern.  My plan was simple.  I would hide in these boxes and "MOOOOOO!" at every person that entered the door.  I would not be able to see who came in.  The joke would be that the cow boxes would actually be mooing.  

Well, the first couple people, it worked great.  They came through the door, heard the moo, and turned and looked at the boxes.  When I mooed again, they got the joke, laughed and walked away.  Well, there was a particularly large woman that I had not thought about.  She was struggling with her weight and we all knew that she was having self image issues.  I was in a dark box, I had no idea that this woman would be coming through the door.  

When I heard the door open,  I let out a very loud MOOOOOO!  The next thing I heard was sobbing, running and the door closing again.  I slowly came out of the box and noticed about 5 people staring at me.  My buddy, who had been laughing at the gag, was now working quietly at his desk across the room, acting oblivious to anything that was going on.  The people staring at me started to lay into me.  "GOOD ONE ABE!"  "THAT WAS REALLY NICE!"  

I felt like garbage.  The woman did not know where the moo had come from and thought that someone was calling her a cow.  She had surrendered to the woman's restroom, where she was in tears.  

I sat at my desk in silence, waiting for her to return.  About 1/2 an hour later, she came back in, wiping mascara from her eyes.  I walked over to her desk and apologized.  I did not explain the joke, as I thought she would think it was just an excuse.  I simply said I was sorry and I did not mean to hurt her feelings.

Just one reason it is a good thing I do not work in an office.


Tammy said...

Okay Abe. I thought the post about the Mormon Trek was hilarious but this one topped it!! I couldn't even read it out loud to Mike because I was laughing so hard!!!!

Sometimes on your posts, I think you are just being funny to be funny (and they are) but then I remember times with you when you really have done things no one else would ever do and it makes me wonder and think . . . . he probably really DID sit in boxes and MOO at people!!!

Thank you for the great belly-busting laugh!!!

Yospe Family said...

Horriable and rude! Abe- What is it with you and being cruel to cows? You also used to go cow tipping when you were just a lad. You really need to write her a letter of appology and tell her how much she has influenced your life. But at least you didn't call a kind old loving grandma figure "an old bat" like someone else I know!