Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Talking Toilet (The Chapter Book) - by a First Grader in my class.

Alright... I know I just posted a first grade story a bit back, but this one had me laughing harder than I have in a long time.

This is a different girl in my class. I knew the topic she had chosen for the "Talented Young Writers" competition, however, I have not seen the final product until just today. I promise you, I have not changed a single word of this story. It is, in a word: AMAZING!

About the Author:

My name is (Make up your own female first grade name) My family is a ball of joy and this family of mine is pretty great. Here is a hint of where I live: Utah. But right now it feels like it's warm now. You want to know a little something about me, I am a great friend and a great student in school.


Vs. 2

Chapter 1
The Lost Toilet

Once there was a gross talking toilet. It was really mean. He came from Idaho. He didn't enjoy Idaho. He ate raw meat and he loved it a lot. One day the talking toilet ran away from home. The kids looked all around the house.

Chapter 2
Pretty Toilet

But then... they found the jackpot! This toilet had diamonds and gems. It was so pretty that they had to go into the bathroom and sit on the toilet. When they were done, they washed their gross hands. Then they got to blow bubbles outside for a half hour. After that they went back to work They finally found the toilet. The toilet said, "Hi! How are you doing?", he said cheerfully. The talking toilet went back to the bathroom.

Chapter 3
The Toilet Strikes Again

After he went to the bathroom, he got a potty water break. He likes potty water a lot. Then he got a new puppy. The puppy did not like him at all.

Chapter 4 (last chapter)
Bad Puppy!

Later that day, he loved his cute puppy so far. He went back to the gross bathroom. But then he felt sick inside. That he was going to die fully soon. But then he went back to his gross bathroom and he died.

The end.

There is so much that is funny about this story, I don't even know where to begin. But here are a couple things.
  • Vs.?? She must read a lot of scriptures at home.
  • You should see the computer drawing she did to go along with the story. It is a stick figure, sitting on a toilet on the top of a hill. Also, for some reason, there is a Utah State flag flying next to her. Not an American flag. A Utah State flag.
  • I liked her "hint" of where she lives. As if I couldn't tell by the giant Utah State flag.
  • Her family is a "ball of joy"! Awesome.


Ashlee said...

Okay... I just have to say that I am really jealous of your job. This had me laughing so hard- ESPECIALLY the hint of where she lives and that her family is a ball of joy. SO cute, and SO funny. Thanks for sharing!

Kristina P. said...

Kids crack me up!!

And I think there is an annual man conference. It's called The Gun Show.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Well I'm certainly a fan! She shows great promise :)

Amy said...

I so enjoy reading children's stories. That's got to be the reason why I teach...okay, at least one of them!

Thanks for stopping by!

Beth said...

I'm not entirely sure but I think I want to be a first grade teacher when I grow up! :)

Dawn said...

Kids are Awesome!!!! I loved the story.

GrammyMouse said...

What a delightful child!
what an imagination. a talking toilet??? kind of makes you wonder where the idea came from...

I love it! thanks for the nibblet of cheese!
Faythe @GMT

Kelly H-Y said...

You just can't make this stuff up! Too funny ... kids come up with the most creative stories! Thanks for stopping by my blog, and for your kind comments!

Anonymous said...

You know the previous talk about not giving out too much "personal information!"
I thought at that age grosser was better but she really makes gross sound disgusting.

tammy said...

Hilarious, and really is the reason why I don't want my second grader to grow up. They are so funny at this age!

Queenie Jeannie said...


My daughter is in kindergarten and already writing some stories. Kids rock!!

Sarah from Scare Sarah said...

What a great job!

Traci said...

"He didn't enjoy Idaho..." that had me laughing out loud! You don't think your kids would illustrate a story with a University of Utah flag? I bet they would.

Cheeseboy said...

@ Ashlee - It is the best job in the world and that pay isn't half bad (except that it is)

@ Kristina - I have my own private gun show every night. - sorry -

@ Imbeingheldhostage - Let me know if you need a guest blogger.

@ Amy - We teachers need to stick together.

@ Beth - How old are you?

@ Dawn - Are you the Dawn I am thinking of? If so, you have a pretty awesome former student of mine.

@ Grammy - The cheese is good.

@ Kelly - your blog really is great.

@dogsmom - I think it is the "eats raw meat" thing that went over the top.

@ Tammy - My own second grader too!

@ Queenie - Keep encouraging her. Writing is my favorite thing to teach. (Obviously)

@ Sarah - thanks. And your blog is freaking me out!

@ Traci - When you think about it - who really does enjoy Idaho?

Teresa said...

Seriously. That whole book had me busting up. And I don't think my kid has ever even listened to XTC, but he's sure pulling from The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead. Which is now stuck in my head.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Hilarious. I'm a new follower, because I felt drawn in - given I saw on CB's blog that you're a partly Jewish boy who can't dance (kinda redundant). I seem to unintentionally have a weakness for your type. Oh, great blog too!

Cheeseboy said...

Teresa - your kid's was awesome too. I was wondering what was up with all the crazy pumpkin head stuff.

Rawkn - Thanks! Although my dance skills are actually above par - at least my first graders tell me. My wife, on the other hand, is simply embarrassed.

Sco said...

Very good choice of crapper - can't go wrong with the extended bowl. Hopefully you hit the jackpot, too.

FluffyChicky said...

I can't believe the talking toilet didn't enjoy Idaho. I l.o.v.e. Idaho.

My family isn't a ball of joy though. It is more like a square of contention. So I am jealous of your student.

Darrin.. said...

HA! This kid is DEEP!!!

"he felt sick inside"...

Been there!

"That he was going to die fully soon"...

Been there too after too much tequila

"But then he went back to his gross bathroom and he died"...

I once went back to my gross bathroom after a hot wing eating contest, and felt like I was going to die!

I swear this kiddo was channeling me! LOL!

Teachinfourth said...

I think we've all felt like that toilet at one time or another in our lives…

Thanks for sharing.

Rae said...

Your blog is cracking me up! So glad you left a comment on mine so I could meander my way over to yours. I feel like my life is so dull and boring compared to yours!!!!! Maybe I need to become a 1st grade teacher! BTW, where did you serve your mission?

Jen said...


Thanks for linking up. :)