Sunday, September 27, 2009

Too many danged kids!

AHHH! There are toys and shoes and blankets thrown everywhere like that long, stringy stuff that falls after a Jazz game win. (I forget the technical jargon for that stuff) The doors are being left open, my toilet is working overtime and I don't have a place to sit on my own couch.

There is a reason we have two kids and two kids only.

[Think: New TV, new TV, new TV]

The screaming, the squealing, the maniacal romping through the house like they are chasing cattle. A man can only take so much chaos. I am not quite sure what the chaos theory is, but I am sure the guy that came up with has at least 4 kids under the age of 7.

[Close eyes. Think of new television]

My 3 year old son screams like a girl. A 3 year old girl screams like a house cat being skinned alive by a thousand scorpions. A house cat being skinned alive by a thousand scorpions sounds a lot like... well, a 3 year old girl's scream. It all goes full circle here on the cheese blog.

[Deep breaths. Close eyes. Think: HD will look so nice on the wall of my living room]

We are watching my two nieces for a week. Only 6 days and 10 hours until their triumphant return. (I am not anal enough to count minutes, but if I were, the minute number would be 27)

Here's the deal: We watch these 2 cute little girls for 9 days and - in return I get a 40+ inch television. Okay, they are not giving me a television - rather, they are paying us enough money to buy a television. The money we earn will be spent toward a beautiful television set. They will pay us some money and we in turn, will take that money and purchase a television.

[Television set seems so close now. I really need to talk about this TV thing more]

Stop screaming! Stop running! Stop fighting! Calder - just give her the stinking toy so she will stop squealing!

[I think that the first thing I watch on my new HD television will be something like the Discovery channel's "Earth". Either that or "The Biggest Loser". All that sweaty blubber in HD sounds intriguing. I haven't really decided though]

How in the world do people have so many darned kids? My 2 kids get along great, but there are still times they just annoy each other to no end. I can't fathom adding more kids to the equation, especially ones that do not get along. Actually, I can fathom it; I am living it as we speak. Living it sucks worse than just attempting to fathom it.

"I neeed a drink." "Can I have a treat?" "I'm hungry." "Calder's not sharing."

[I need to measure that wall. Make sure it is a perfect fit. Probably is... but I should still measure it]

The thing is, if it were just me, I'd probably just say no. I know, I know - it's a new TV. But really, the wacky thing is I like my old TV. My TV has been my trustworthy friend for almost ten years now. I've never had a problem with it.

[WHAT AM I SAYING?! We are talking about a new TV - HD, flat panel, pixelations, high-tech standardized equipments, THE WORKS! No, it will be worth it. Just keep telling yourself that]

I think I need to work late for the next few nights. I may actually attend the UEA conference this year. I think the Bishop needs me over at the ward this week. I've got stuff going on. Important stuff.


Tammy said...

At least they ask you guys to do it. Apparently I'm not trustworthy enough or liked enough since this is your second time :)

I might have begged to do it had I know you were getting paid so much!

Tammy said...

Then again, who am I kidding? I do not watch other people's kids.

Tyler and Lyndsay said...

I know exactly who will watch our kids someday when we go out of town for a few weeks... YOU!!! HAHAHA, totally kidding. Good luck with the rest of the week! HD... HD..... HD.... (start saying it, it becomes like a chant!)

Erica Phillips said...

Well I have just the solution, send them our way! Dustin really wants a new tv but we are doing our kitchen so he cant. I mean really, whats 2 more girls when you already have 4?

Sco said...

2 kids for a plasma. Good trade, white man. Better than wampum.

Cheeseboy said...

Erica - I know your girls - adding two girls to your girls would be nothing.

Tammy - Yeah, you know you would never do it. 9 days?! Maybe a couple hours.

Thanks Lyndsay... good luck on the marathon.

Scott... I'll let you know if it was a good trade when it is over.

Gardner said...

I know who will be haning out at your house to watch games for now on!!