Sunday, September 27, 2009

Too many danged kids!


AHHH! There are toys and shoes and blankets thrown everywhere like that long, stringy stuff that falls after a Jazz game win. (I forget the technical jargon for that stuff) The doors are being left open, my toilet is working overtime and I don't have a place to sit on my own couch.

There is a reason we have two kids and two kids only.

[Think: New TV, new TV, new TV]

The screaming, the squealing, the maniacal romping through the house like they are chasing cattle. A man can only take so much chaos. I am not quite sure what the chaos theory is, but I am sure the guy that came up with has at least 4 kids under the age of 7.

[Close eyes. Think of new television]

My 3 year old son screams like a girl. A 3 year old girl screams like a house cat being skinned alive by a thousand scorpions. A house cat being skinned alive by a thousand scorpions sounds a lot like... well, a 3 year old girl's scream. It all goes full circle here on the cheese blog.

[Deep breaths. Close eyes. Think: HD will look so nice on the wall of my living room]

We are watching my two nieces for a week. Only 6 days and 10 hours until their triumphant return. (I am not anal enough to count minutes, but if I were, the minute number would be 27)

Here's the deal: We watch these 2 cute little girls for 9 days and - in return I get a 40+ inch television. Okay, they are not giving me a television - rather, they are paying us enough money to buy a television. The money we earn will be spent toward a beautiful television set. They will pay us some money and we in turn, will take that money and purchase a television.

[Television set seems so close now. I really need to talk about this TV thing more]

Stop screaming! Stop running! Stop fighting! Calder - just give her the stinking toy so she will stop squealing!

[I think that the first thing I watch on my new HD television will be something like the Discovery channel's "Earth". Either that or "The Biggest Loser". All that sweaty blubber in HD sounds intriguing. I haven't really decided though]

How in the world do people have so many darned kids? My 2 kids get along great, but there are still times they just annoy each other to no end. I can't fathom adding more kids to the equation, especially ones that do not get along. Actually, I can fathom it; I am living it as we speak. Living it sucks worse than just attempting to fathom it.

"I neeed a drink." "Can I have a treat?" "I'm hungry." "Calder's not sharing."

[I need to measure that wall. Make sure it is a perfect fit. Probably is... but I should still measure it]

The thing is, if it were just me, I'd probably just say no. I know, I know - it's a new TV. But really, the wacky thing is I like my old TV. My TV has been my trustworthy friend for almost ten years now. I've never had a problem with it.

[WHAT AM I SAYING?! We are talking about a new TV - HD, flat panel, pixelations, high-tech standardized equipments, THE WORKS! No, it will be worth it. Just keep telling yourself that]

I think I need to work late for the next few nights. I may actually attend the UEA conference this year. I think the Bishop needs me over at the ward this week. I've got stuff going on. Important stuff.

7 comments:

Tammy said...

At least they ask you guys to do it. Apparently I'm not trustworthy enough or liked enough since this is your second time :)

I might have begged to do it had I know you were getting paid so much!

Tammy said...

Then again, who am I kidding? I do not watch other people's kids.

Tyler and Lyndsay said...

I know exactly who will watch our kids someday when we go out of town for a few weeks... YOU!!! HAHAHA, totally kidding. Good luck with the rest of the week! HD... HD..... HD.... (start saying it, it becomes like a chant!)

Erica Phillips said...

Well I have just the solution, send them our way! Dustin really wants a new tv but we are doing our kitchen so he cant. I mean really, whats 2 more girls when you already have 4?

Sco said...

2 kids for a plasma. Good trade, white man. Better than wampum.

Cheeseboy said...

Erica - I know your girls - adding two girls to your girls would be nothing.

Tammy - Yeah, you know you would never do it. 9 days?! Maybe a couple hours.

Thanks Lyndsay... good luck on the marathon.

Scott... I'll let you know if it was a good trade when it is over.

Gardner said...

I know who will be haning out at your house to watch games for now on!!