Friday, May 13, 2011

The Life Signs Cycle

Age 5:
Can you write your name?

Age 7:
Can I sign up for soccer?

Age 8:
Can you sign your name in cursive?

Age 10:
Can you sign my cast?

Age 12:
Mom, can you sign my report card?

Age 14:
Look son, that new hair is just a sign that you are going through some changes.

Age 15:
Dude, have you seen Signs? That ending was totally insane!

Age 16:
Sign here for your driver's license.

Age 17:
Young man, did you not see the speed limit sign?

Age 18:
This diploma is a sign of your hard work.

Age 19:
Hey baby, what's your sign?

Age 19 (10 seconds later):
Alright, I'll take this drink in my face as a sign that you're totally into me.

Age 20:
Your final grades will be posted on the sign in the hall.

Age 21:
Sign here to post bail for your friend.

Age 22:
This diploma is a sign that you are now ready to enter the workforce.

Age 22 and two months:
Where the hell are all the 'Help Wanted' signs?!

Age 25:
Baby, this ring is a sign of my deep and abiding love for you.

Age 28:
She is 3 months along with still no sign of showing.

Age 30:
Sign here to close.  And here. And here.  And here. And here.  And here. And here. And here. And here. And here.  And here.  And here.  And here.  And here.  And here. And here.  And here...

Age 35:
I think this beer gut might be a sign I need to lose weight.

Age 35 - 65:
Honey, did you sign the checks for the bills?

Age 50:
I am going to ask your daughter to marry me.  Sir, I really'd like you to sign off on this.

Age 70:
Honey, did you forget the handicapped parking sign again?

Age 75:
Didn't the sign say they have a senior citizen discount?

Age 80:
Look dad, I'm sorry but there have been a ton of signs that you need to be moved to a home.

Age 90:
Can you write your name?

47 comments:

Kristin said...

Ok, I know I'm slow, but I was to age 14 before I realized to what "signs" you were referring...

*facepalm*

Chris Phillips said...

Sings was hoaky. Village was much better.

My Oatmeal Kisses said...

Where do you come up with this stuff? You are hillarious! (P.S. This one was very manly! No woman would say Beer Gutt.)

"Miss Bee" said...

Aw! This is actually really poignant! Love it!

W.C.Camp said...

I'm seriously a little nervous about that 50 year old sign since I have a daughter. Thanks for making me worry!
W.C.C.

Alittlesprite said...

The ending is sad :(

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I like that you came full cycle with the signs. This was funny and prolific.
xoRobyn

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You're terrible! Although the mortgage signing was accurate.

Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

That was just really, really good. Kinda deep, kinda funny, kinda real life.... this would make a great country song.

Kristen said...

This is Amazing! I'm slightly late on the signing here, here. and here, BUT I just did that two nights ago and it WAS a milestone. You may not be able to write your name some day but I guarantee you will still TYPE.

Linda said...

This a a good and realistic list! I'm getting to the age where people as me if I can sign my name. Well, maybe not quite that old!

Joan said...

Very funny and so true! I haven't commented much, but I read the Cheese still. Keep at it. Love your humor. =)

Nicole said...

Now... this was actually very profound! I love it. One of my faves, for certain!

laughingmom said...

Love this! You could reverse the order of ages 25 and 28, though, for many!

-stephanie- said...

Funny post. I'm glad I signed up to follow you.

tammy said...

I'm kind of a little depressed now.

Cheryl said...

Really a great post. Very thought provoking. I agree with Tammy and Alittlesprite that the ending is a bit depressing. I'm shooting for being "Betty White" at 90.

Lisa Loo said...

Have you ever heard "Here;s Your Sign" ? Best ever.....

Bees With Honey said...

How sad that life comes full circle. We go from not knowing how to write our names when we're little to not knowing how to do it again when we're old. So sad.

Makes me miss my Grandmas. And Grandpas. And not want to see my parents get old.

*sniff*

Ally said...

Wow, this was so good. Some funny, some sad. So true. One thing though, 25 today is a bit young to be getting married, no?

FourthGradeNothing.com

M-Cat said...

Cheeseboy is getting deep. I like it.
Great post. And isn't the mortgage one so true?

00dozo said...

Heh, heh. I just hope that not all of the signs of age are so predictable.
;-)

Kelly said...

the circle of life. Sigh!

The Teacher's Pets said...

Bravo! Bravo! Your signs are intuitive, hilarious, and thought provoking! I can only hope that I am never asked to sign my name as a new resident at a nursing home, thank you very much!
By the way, how's your inflatable green dinosaur that you won from the Silly Saturday Photo Caption Contest doing? Thanks for submitting your caption this evening! I agree that the goat needs a dentist!

Christa said...

I loved this. The end.

Melinda said...

I think this is the deepest thing you've written--is this a sign about something?!

Christine said...

Very deep, I agree with Melinda, clever, and witty and so true as well. The picture of the sign is funny too.

Connie said...

Sad but true. Just had the 50 happen to us last week...for the 7th time! (Not the same child)

♥α§ђ£ε¥™♥ said...

By the time I'm 90, I don't know if we'll still be writing. That's....67 years from now. I had to stop and think about that (pitiful, I know, for a soon to be college grad. Maybe I should rethink the degree....)

Perpetually Me

Pedaling said...

right back to - can you write your name? hehe

Marnie said...

The circle...or rather should I say signs of life :0) These were hilarious because they are true.

Teachinfourth said...

Wait, there are signs?

Corrina Terry said...

This is yet another sign that you are still a creative writer! ;o)

Crystal Pistol said...

This is brilliant. BRILLIANT! And tender.

I liked the one about hair at age 14 the very best, which was less tender and more hilarious.

Why must I be so low-brow??

Lourie said...

Okay I am not too happy with age 50 because that one --for him not me--is not too far away. Which means our daughter is headed that way. :( I love the house one though. 200 pages I think of signature this, here, there, that, every where. hahaha.

Janiece said...

i think i am right above my kids wanting to put me in a home!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

YOU 100% nailed it!! I love this one!

Jenn said...

Funny how we always revert back to baby like status as we get older..... boy, that sucks!!

SueLovesCherries said...

Scary - but true!

Impulsive Addict said...

Wow. Could you be any more accurate? This depresses me. It won't be long before someone is asking if I can sign my name...

Kev D. said...

Don't forget to sign the card for Mindy from Accounting.

Great post dude.

Cluttered Brain said...

lol...Is this your own list?
Love it. I don't think your updates are showing up in my dashboard anymore...*sigh* It's a sad day.
Love ya Cheeseman! I hope you are close to 700 followers....

TisforTonya said...

the house closing one had me choking on my lunch - :) I love that I'm in the category that just signs bills... for the next 30 years...

MiMi said...

Bahahahaha!! This is a good one.
I especially like the one about the signing for the house. I think that gave me carpel tunnel...

Noelle said...

Call me crazy, but this made me kind of sad.

I'm curious...do you follow all of your followers??? And if you do, how do you have time to read and comment?

Emmy said...

This post was so funny.. But almost kind of sad at the end

Kelley said...

This was so good! I love how you took the word "sign" and came up with all of that. Are you a genius?