Saturday, July 25, 2009

If you have been wondering, a change has come.

Okay, it has been established - Cathi is not pregnant. Of course, I am referring to this post about change and how I crave it. I do, however, figure that now the actual change has taken place, I owe my reading audience some sort of explanation. First, I will tell you what the change was not:

I did not get breast implants. (But still considering butt implants)

I did not make it on next season's So You Can Think You Can Dance, although I know I totally could if I wanted to!

I did not add a urinal to our new bathroom, despite my pleas to my wife. I wanted to get one that went all the way to the floor, as to keep the spillage to a minimum. I thought it was every woman's fantasy, but she has us all trained to sit down anyway. Oh, and it turns out, George Cloony is every woman's fantasy... not a urinal.

I will not be posing topless for a magazine shoot. (Although, I have been asked like a bazillion times. It's just that I'm not comfortable sharing that side of me... my front side. Especially since I did not end up getting the implants)

As it turns out, and I know that this may come as a complete shock to many of you, I will be switching schools next year.

I know, I know. It's okay. Calm down people. Seriously, here is a paper bag. Deep breaths. Hold on, I'll get you a cold drink of water.

Okay, all set?

What can I say? I know, I am just that important.

My Principal - a good, outstanding man - invited me to move with him one mile west to his new school. I was a little hesitant, the caveat being this was not a normal teaching job I was being offered. It involved teaching a group of First Grade geniuses, or rather, just high achievers - and dealing with their overbearing parents. (Editor's Note: I just misspelled "achievers" like six times before finally getting it right. Editor's Note 2: I just misspelled "misspelled". I am not kidding. I am sure they do not have the right man for the job.)

The teaching of the smartypants sounded interesting to me - sort of like a First Grade version of that awful 80's sitcom Head of the Class. (Of course, I would play the role of Dr. Harold Samuels - wickedly funny and generously gifted) The kids in this class are all eager to learn and they are generally all well behaved. After giving it much thought, I decided to accept.

Now, I have no idea where to begin. I'm thinking I am going to need to get out some storyboards and concept map-type-things... maybe a diagram or two and brainstorm what these mini-brainiacs might want to do. It's time to start thinking out of the box. Thinking out of the box may be a difficult proposition because if you have seen me teach, my style is already out of the box. Thus, I need to think outside outside of the box. I guess I need to just destroy the box. Send the box packing - which would be perfect because it is a box. What was I talking about again? Oh yes, my butt implants. Do they ship those in a box?

FYI- The Blog O' Cheese will be on hiatus for a full week while I get my implants. Pictures to come!!


Tammy said...

This is old news now :)

Cheeseboy said...

Tammy, you do realize there are other people that read my blog that are not on facebook, correct?

sacdaddy said...

Like me. And I get to sometimes up to 3 days late.

Congrats Abe!

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to let you know that a week is too long without an update from the Cheeseboy. The only excuse I can think of for you to be gone that long is if you are at scout camp and in that case there is a special place in heaven reserved for you.

lindsey v said...

Yeah, come on. We really want to see your bumplants (bum+implants).