Dear two little barky, yappy dogs that live four houses up the street,
I hate you and your barky-bark guts!
I know, I know, you can't read English - or human.
But seriously, could you shut the @$%! up already? (@$%! = "heck", but I didn't want to offend anyone, thus the use of these signs)
Honestly, you've see me every day for five years. If I was going to kill you, I would have done it by now. Keep up the yapping and I may just change my mind. Don't think I haven't thought of ways...
I have. Seriously, I want you both dead.
You are not cute - you are the Bachelorettes of the dog world. (The newest Bachelorette too - What I am trying to say is that she is ugly - like you) You are not breed worthy - even a Pug wouldn't smell your butt. And you will just not shut up! In fact, I can hear you jabbering away right now. It's grating, like listening to Kathy Lee Gifford and that gal from "The Nanny" argue over ice cream.
I don't mind dogs, really I don't. I just hate you. I think I have a friend in the dog Mafia. We can make this as clean or as dirty as you want.
The thing is, I generally like dogs. Good dogs. I know good dogs. I've seen them behaving. You are not good dogs. You're bad dogs. Bad dogs!
If only you understood talkings of humans. You'd know I hate you. I hate you and your flea-bagged guts.
Your friend (if you stop barking),