Listening. It's something I fancy myself being pretty good at. Heck, all I do all day long is listen. "When are we going to lunch?" "What time is lunch?" "I'm hungry, when is lunch?" (Lunch is life when you are in the First Grade.)
For some reason, my brain and ears completely shut down when it comes to listening to my wife. Granted, she should be the one that I listen to the most and I should be most attentive to. Yet, when the time comes, I just can't seem to get myself to comprehend and remember the words that come out of her mouth. Give today for example...
Cathi apparently informed me last night that we would be walking to the library as a family after I got home from school. So, what do I do? I stop on my way home from school to pick up a few things I had on reserve at the library. The very same library that we were supposed to be walking to. Brilliant.
I angrily entered our home, frustrated by the fact that I could only put 5 CD's at a time at our library. Oops. I might as well have said I ran over a puppy with a motorcycle with giant pizza slicers for wheels. Needless to say, I was in the doghouse, and not one of those nice, plastic ones that you can buy at Cosco with the little window and the nice, built in, rubber pad. We're talking a homeless dog house, like for homeless dogs. Wait, don't homeless dogs get sent to the shelter with warmth and food? A shelter would have been heaven.
The strange thing is I honestly and sincerely can not remember her informing me of our planned library jaunt. I do remember she was looking absolutely stunning, but the conversation about the library... not so much. Her breathtaking beauty must have sidetracked my thoughts and caused me to forget the whole library thing - and I'm not just saying that because I know she will read this post and be flattered. On the contrary - she will read this post and see my obvious attempt to kiss up using flattery and become even more angry.
When I feel my First Graders waning and I am losing their attention, I will often have them attach their "listening ears". Attaching "listening ears" involves screwing in pretend super-human ears while making a squeaking sound. Immediately, the kids perk up and they will listen to everything I have to say. I am not sure why, but it seems that my listening ears always fall out as soon as I get into my car to come home. It's weird because I always screw them in SUPER TIGHT! They're strapped to my head like pantyhose on an sea cow.
So why is it that I tune out my beloved wife so often? I wish I knew. Is it because I am a man? I have a strange feeling that this is a very common thing that men do. Am I right ladies? Men not listening to their wives? - It's not like I'm breaking new ground here. In fact, my boys seem to have followed in my footsteps and have the same boneheaded, listening difficulty when it comes to their mother. Cathi is in constant frustration, trying to figure out why the three clueless boys in her life can never remember a single thing she tells them. It's time we all had permanent listening ears installed. Now that's going to take a lot of squeaking!