We're back. I'm sure nobody cares. Well, maybe you don't care - but you do anyway - because you're just that kind of person. Thanks for pretending. Nevertheless, we just completed a two day excursion into the vast wilds of Leeds, Utah, 10 miles north of St. George.
We generally visit secluded, farmlanded Leeds two or three times a year as Cathi's parents own a lovely home there. It is generally quiet, quaint and actually quite quail filled. (It's not that I needed another "Q" word here, which I did; I actually did almost run over an entire family of quail - babies and all. I actually should have run them over as it would make for a much more interesting story than I am sharing here)
This trip, for me, was one of self discovery. I am not speaking of deep, moving, soul searching of which I have no patience for. I am speaking of 3 minute, rather cloying details about myself that I happened to pick up on.
1. I am a very slow highway driver. I usually set the autopilot for 5 miles per hour UNDER the speed limit. I'm slow. If I were a racehorse, I would be a Clydesdale. If I were a restaurant, I'd be the Cheesecake Factory. If I were running track, I would be the white guy. I was so slow, Cathi's MOM beat us to our destinations - and she is old! (Not real old, but she's at least 60 I think)
As I chugged along, I noticed the only things I passed were trucks towing boats and semis - and even then, some semis were passing ME! Now, don't get me wrong - I am a very polite driver. I never cut people off in the fast lane, I always give the right away to the "ultra-fasties" as I like to call them and I never fail to signal. UF's have no right complain about me.
I've often wondered why I am such a slow driver and I think that I figured it out during my five hours on the road this trip. I recall watching a movie, it may have been Meet the Parents 2, in which a grown woman is driving with her father. They are traveling so slowly, folks are honking and giving them the finger as they drive by. The girl turns to her dad and asks, "Do you always drive this slowly?" Her father replies, "Only when you're in the car, honey."
2. I am refattening up for my role as "fat guy" in the movie called "life". My pants aren't fitting right, I've noticed a protruding belly and my acid reflux has returned in full force. I'm not sure why this is, I have kept up my running routine at nearly 100%. I'm not ruling out my diet, which - during the past week ("Teacher Appreciation Week") has included two meals at Cafe Rio, and one at Wendy's, Burger King, Iceburg and One Man Band. In addition, the kids brought me my favorite candy: Milkyway and Sour Patch Kids. I have been gorging these like Ryan Seacrest eats "second breakfasts". But hey - the jogging should have worked all that off, right?
3. Hiking for 3 hours to see a few Indian writings on some rocks in 95 degree heat and no shade is only worth it if your 7 year old son is amazed by them when you finally get there.