Sunday, May 3, 2009

Dear Ogden America First Credit Union ladies.


Well HELLO LADIES! It appears that I have developed a fan club, or more appropriately "cyber groupies" at the Ogden America First Credit Union. Once again, HELLO LADIES! I have not received this much female attention since... well, who am I kidding, I a lone male teacher am smothered and stirred into a giant pot of teaching estrogen. It seems , I get plenty of female attention and sometimes, if I am lucky, some of it even comes from my wife. But that's not to say that I am not flattered that you read my nonsensical nonsense on a daily basis. Actually, I often wonder if my slobbery slop would ever fly with the masses. Apparently it does, if you work at the Ogden America First Credit Union.

Ladies, I want you to know, I know how it is. Desk work strains your mind. Come Tuesday afternoon, you realize, "I have 3 more days of this crap!" The Blog O' Cheese is an oasis. Allow me to be your oasis. (Not the crazy English band with the two drunken brothers, but rather something serving as a refuge, relief, or pleasant change from what is usual.)

First off, I would just like to say that I think that it is great that you work in Ogden. The world needs more brave people like you. Ogden has officially moved from "armpit of Utah" to " upper naval of Utah". (Thanks Pangquich!) Do they provide you with an extra security guard? But, I kid, I kid. (I do hope that they provide you with an extra security officer. Please tell me they do.)

I love America First Credit Union! The thing I love about them most is that they are not the Deseret First Credit Union. What is with their commercials?! They are awful. (When I see a Deseret First Credit Union comercial I am begging for Paige Davis!) Do they only want Mormons as customers? Would they even accept the money of a non-member? Every time I see one of their ads, I cringe in disbelief. "Did they really just make an inside joke about a 'Stake Center' to cater to the Mormon population?!" Ugh. Shoot me now.

No, I think it's great that, unlike those putrid Democrats, that you put America first. I hope you don't even allow those pathetic Democrats through your doors. I mean, what do they put first? Hope? Taxes? Not torturing people? It's not America, I'll tell you that much! America comes way down the list for them. It's like number 6 on their list, much like where football is for the BYU football players. Not you gals. You put AMERICA FIRST! Now that's something I like to hear from my lending institution. (Sarcastic tone intended.)

I also find it quite interesting that you all cheer for a team dressed in purple. However, I too will dawn the purple drapes of shame whenever your lads travel south to play the evil empire otherwise known as BYU. But purple? Really? Better than blue I suppose.

So, ladies of the Ogden America First Credit Union, I ask - no I implore you to continue to read the Blog O' Cheese. And, if the mood so strikes you one lazy afternoon, you might want to make a comment or two. In the meantime, I will try to not ever let my new found fans down and I will continue to write pathetic mumblings for you to pass the time by. Now it's time I start recruiting those broads down at the Pangquich America First Credit Union. Maybe I should send them a fruit basket?

16 comments:

Lori said...

What? Did I miss something? How do you know the ladies at the Credit Union are reading? I mean...I'm sure they are...who doesn't read the "Blog O'Cheese?" But, how do you know?

Stacy said...

Hey Abe, Somebody told me that Deseret First Credit Union is only for Mormons - I guess it's a little selective. I wonder if they do automatic tithing withdrawals. That would be convenient.

Stacy said...

Also, did you really just call some women in Panguitch "broads?"

Cheeseboy said...

Lori - A comment yesterday from one of my cousins:
My dearest cousin, I would have to agree with you about Aunt Margaret's comment, quite humorous. I have also been asked to inform you that my brother-in-law's fiance has come accross your blog, via my blog, and she has started reading it everyday (which to be honest with you is more often than I read it) and she has also got all of the women at America First Credit Union in Ogden Reading it as well, everyday. You are the source of their entertainment and daily conversations, you make them laugh until they pee their pants (side note, America First Credit Union in Ogden must not smell very good) But she tells me she would be very flattered and feel very privledged if you would send a "shout out to Jess and the Girls at America First" I have now fulfilled my duties as a soon to be sister-in-law and informed you that you have a heram in Ogden, I hope Kathy does not mind.

Cheeseboy said...

Ha ha Stacy. Automatic tithing withdrawals. And yes, looking back at it, I probably shouldn't have used the term "broads". However, I am not sure there is even really a Panguitch branch of America First Credit Union, so I might be okay.

sacdaddy said...

Abe, you are blowing up! First you get the cast of Yo Gabba Gabba to not only read your blog, but comment as well. Now, you've got the ladies at America First. Who's next? Neil Diamond?

Cheeseboy said...

I know it Steve. I am probably even getting read in Narnia by now.

By the way Steve, I have been meaning to tell you - that Jack Black episode of Yo Gabba Gabba is hilarious! I mean, one of the funniest things I have seen in a long, long time. And the more I watch it, the funnier it gets. Tell the cast and crew - they did me right on that one. (Although I am not sure it was MEANT to be funny.)

Charis said...

Well, in the olden days, to be a member of a credit union you had to do more than just have $25 in your savings account at all times, you actually had to be a member of something, so the Jordan Credit Union you had to work for the Jordan School District, University of Utah Credit Union you had to be a student at the Univeristy of Utah, Granite Credit Union you had to work for Granite School District, etc. etc. etc. Deseret Credit Union was the Credit Union set up for church employees. I do not know when they did away with such rules, and decided you can buy your membership with a $25 deposit into your savings. Don't get me wrong I am repulsed by the commercials for Deseret Credit Union. And I bank at America First, Go America First! And I got a call from the Lady's at America First, they all were very pleased to see that you are aware of them. :)

KC said...

America First employee, also an avid reader of The Blog O' Cheese. I do laugh pretty hard at the posts, however, I stop short of peeing my pants...that's not very professional. I just have to wait until about 7:30 p.m. to read so I don't disturb others with my boisterous laughing. Thanks for the post dedicated to us! AWESOME! And No, we do not have a branch in Panguitch, not yet anyway!

Cheeseboy said...

Hi KC! I apologize for the suckerpunch to Ogden. It really is a nice place. I have a question though. Do you know who that woman is in the picture on this post? I googled your branch and this was the first picture that came up. I thought it would be funny if you actually knew her.

Thanks for commenting. Comment anytime! Tell the ladies to keep reading.

Jess said...

Hola.. this fine cinco de mayo day.. it is I, Jess, the soon to be sister in law of Charis. You can only imagine the amount of joy it brought me to see you had in fact, dedicated a post to us..the ladies of the C.U. I was SHOCKED beyond belief to see the photo of Vice President Tammy posted; so much that I instant messaged her to say how small this world really is. I am sure she thinks I am nuts because she had zero idea her picture was now featured on the said blog.

As a long time employee of the C.U. I would have to say that we were lucky to get one branch in lovely St. George ten years ago and who would have thought branches would be built in Hurricane, another in George and not one, but TWO in the gorgeous city of Mesquite. Panguitch however, I do not see in the near future...possibly in 20 years, but you never know.

It is true, on those gloomy, moody days that can plaque a call center such as mine, The Blog O' Cheese can be counted on to lighten the mood and lift spirits.

Your latest poll hits near and dear to my heart as I was in attendance at the Sugar Bowl and will NEVER forget the thrill, excitement and utter hysterics as the Utes pulled through with an undefeated season.

I also want to mention how honored one should feel that KC commented on your post. She is by far one of the biggest BYU fans I have ever encountered.

In closing, thank you for continuing to make us laugh and for dedicating a post all to us.

Jess
Utahs BIGGEST fan!

Cheeseboy said...

Hey Jess. Ute fans are ALWAYS welcome on the blog O' cheese. (So are BYU fans, but not as much.) I am glad Charis outed you as a reader.

I too worked at a call center for 5 years that will remain nameless. (It was that hellish place called Convergies.) I know how days at a call center seem to go by SO FAST! I wish I had started the Blog O Cheese while working at the call center. I mostly answered emails, and I certainly could have fit in a little writing here and there.

Anyhow, keep on reading and if something strikes you, feel free to comment anytime. I'm hoping said blog takes off and I can supplement my huge income as a teacher. (Not really, but I can always dream.)

GO AMERICA FIRST! My new favorite credit union.

Adrian and Jane Musters said...

Thank goodness for Jess for introducing us to your blog. Without your blog my days and the credit union would last forever. Thanks for your clever and super funny blog.

Cheeseboy said...

Welcome Jane. (Or is it Adrian?) So very glad I could be of some entertainment value. Visit as often as you'd like - for there is no 'Off' position on the genius switch!

KC said...

But apparently there is an "off" position for your "listening ears"? hmmmm.....

The Quist's said...
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