Tuesday, March 22, 2011

When Wiggles Die...

Greg Page, age 39

Survived by: Jeff, Murray, Anthony, Captain Feathersword, Dorothy the Dinosaur, Henry the Octopus and Wags the Dog.

Our beloved Greg's passing came as a great shock to us all.  He left this world due to a horrible case fruit salad poisoning. Greg loved fruit salad and very often referred to it as, "Yummy yummy!" Greg's passions were singing, dancing, speaking in an Australian accent and the color yellow.  His written word and song proved fatefully ironic in the end: "A Froggy He Would a Wooing Go".  


Wo on Greg.  Wo on, you shiny diamond! 

Jeff Fatt, age 60 


Survived by: Murray, Anthony, Captain Feathersword, Dorothy the Dinosaur, Henry the Octopus and Wags the Dog.


Our beloved Jeff passed from this mortal life in the early Friday morning hours.  Jeff's accidental death came as a shock to all of us.  When he was found, there were hot potato wounds scattered all over his lifeless body.  Jeff had forgotten the common Wiggle practice of offsetting the heat of the hot potatoes with that of the cold banana.


Jeff will be remembered fondly for his love of singing, dancing and the color purple.  A man of few words, Jeff was always the one to feed Wags the Dog.  He will be remembered for his hilarious narcolepsy, although this condition ultimately proved to be the a large contributor of his death. 


"Hey, Hey, Hey, We're All Pirate Dancing." At least Jeff is.  In heaven. Heaven pirate dancing.


Murray Cook, age 51



Survived by: Anthony, Captain Feathersword, Dorothy the Dinosaur, Henry the Octopus and Wags the Dog.

Murray Cook, a Wiggle forever, passed into the realm of dead Australian children's song heros after a horrid Big Red Car accident on I-15.  It traveled near, but alas, it could not travel far. 

Murray will be remembered fondly for his love of singing, dancing and the color Red.  He will also be remembered as "the ugly, but funny one" and "the one that Captain Feathersword was especially fond of."  Murray loved that Big Red Car, but instead of "Choo-Choo-Chugga-Chugga-ing", he was "Moving his arms like Henry" during those last few seconds of his life. 

Anthony Field, age 48 

Survived by: Captain Feathersword, Dorothy the Dinosaur, Henry the Octopus and Wags the Dog.

We are saddened by the sudden passing of our kind friend, Anthony.  Our sweet Anthony, we shall ever miss you, even if you were strangled by a giant octopus while trying to sing a folk song to it underwater.

Anthony will be remembered fondly for his love of singing, dancing and the color blue.  He will be remembered fondly as "the good-looking and charming one."  Anthony's greatest joy in life was living with four other full-grown men and making up dances for them to do late into the night.  Anthony never married and never had a girlfriend, but never once complained about it.  That was the type of attitude Anthony had in life.  It was a beautiful thing.

Anthony, "Can you point your fingers and do the twist?"  No?  Well, we had the mortician do that for you.  We thought it only fitting.
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FYI: In case you were wondering, my very first blog post was 3 years ago today.  But I am not big into Blogiversaries.  I'd rather have you comment on the post that I put so much blood and sweat into over the past hour or so.

59 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I knew it was bound to happen. Yo Gabba, Gabba put out a hit on The Wiggles. R.I.P.

NotaSupermom said...

Anthony was my pretend boyfriend about seven years ago. I was trapped at home with four young and energetic children and saw more of him than I did of my husband.

Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

Greg was my favourite.. such a great big smile! And Jeff.. how weird was he? And what kind of a name is Fatt? He couldn't have weighed 140 pounds soaking wet. Potatoes, ahoy, Jeff!

The Stiffs said...

So sad. I'll wear tie dye to honor all their colors tomorrow.

Krista said...

Brilliant.

Cluttered Brain said...

lol...really? where do you come up with these posts?
You are hilarious...

Teachinfourth said...

I'll shed a single tear...

Connie said...

NOOO!!! Say it isn't so!!

The Church Lady said...

Sad to say I am not too familiar with the Wiggles family. My children were more into Teletubbies and The Big Comfy Couch. The Wiggles are certainly a colorful group of young men. It's no wonder the kids are drawn to them with their bright clothing and silly dances.

Marnie said...

A lot of sad kids, followed by a lot of happy parents...Yo Gabba Gabba is next on the hit list...muahahahaha (evil laugh).

Flea said...

Is the Wiggles over? I don't think I've seen even one episode. Somehow we managed to miss this one. My kids preferred Animaniacs and Batman Beyond. Hm.

Cheeseboy said...

test

T said...

oh - a lot of effort was expended in keeping my kids from becoming attached to this show... and yet, somehow I still know enough about it to find this post hilarious!

(hey, I had to do a LITTLE research one year when I was asked to make a Wiggles birthday cake...)

bloggiversary... shoot, I bet mine is soon... I should look at that... or not.

T said...

oops, just checked - I missed it by a few days... I guess they're not big on my list either - 3 years come and gone so fast :)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Congratulations!

What post?

Cynthia said...

Snort! I'm so glad the little kid show days are behind me. Sadly, not so far behind me that I failed to grasp the humor of this post!

Middle-aged Mormon Man said...

At your request I will absolutely avoid any references to the third anniversary of your blog. I will also avoid pointing out that this would have been your "leather" anniversary, should you have chosen to participate.

I also will avoid making mention of the fact that you are a singular presence in the blogging world. An inspiration...nay, a monolithic blogger of epic influence in the life of this lowly newbie.

If I could, I would bow - respectfully - and thank you for making the world a more fulfilling place. (As long as you weren't wearing the leather.)

Allyson & Jere said...

Oh Wiggles, how I hate ye. But, I won't lie, when I saw this on your FB post, for a second, I really thought one had died. Silly me. SILLY you!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I'm reminded by you that it's my blogoversary time too. I think we started blogging around the same time. Happy blogoversary!
Thoughtful obits, Cheeseboy. I'm especially sad for the last guy cuz he was kinda cute.
xoRobyn

mintifresh said...

Heaven Pirate Dancing! bwhahahaah

Nancy C said...

"the one that Captain Feathersword was especially fond of."

Oh, that Captain Fethersword...cheeky fellow.

lifeshighway said...

I missed The Wiggle phenomenon, but just by their photos, I hate them.

ThreeOldKeys said...

One wonders ... if there was no blog until 3 years ago ... where did all the Crazy used to go? The pressure must have been extreme. Were there explosions? Leakage? Bewildered first graders splattered with cheese?

Joann Mannix said...

Happy, Schnappy Blogoversary. I remember the day I found you, crawling into a dumpster.

I think those Wiggles really died of acute "music" poisoning. Thankfully, my girls are too old to have endured the Wiggles, but my nieces used to watch them. The first time they turned it on, I'm pretty sure what I experienced was an epileptic seizure from the horrific sounds coming from the tv. See ya, Wiggles. I won't miss ya and your unitards.

Jenn said...

Sometimes it's nice not having kids... you don't have to experience things like the Wiggles! lol
(psst..happy blogiversary!!)

JRiggles said...

The Wiggles mezmorize my children. When my 2 year old asks for them the 9, 7 and 5 year old can't seem to take there eyes of the TV. Very fun to make fun of the 9 year old for it ;). Oh and BTW...it is 'cold spaghetti' not cold banana..those would be mashed.

TesoriTrovati said...

Dang.
My baby and I used to watch this all the time.
Okay.
I made my baby watch this all the time.
That Anthony was a sight for momma's sore eyes.
But my baby turns 13 today.
I am surprised that they didn't all die in a freak feathersword accident.

Thanks for the smiles, Cheeseboy!
Enjoy the day!
Erin

Lolidots said...

"Heaven pirate dancing"
Love it.

If there's a heaven and my blasphemous life here on earth is forgiven, I'd like to think I'll be able to spend eternity "heaven pirate dancing".

Impulsive Addict said...

I have NEVER watched this craptastic show. I'm assuming I didn't miss much.

You must be on Spring Break. You have some serious time on your hands. That was extremely detailed.

Well done!

-stephanie- said...

I started out despising the Wiggles, but the more I watched, the more they grew on me. My sincere sympathy to....um....Disney Channel?

FluffyChicky said...

Oh, how The Boy loved The Wiggles! I am still in therapy for being forced to buy several of their videos and watching them for hours on end just to keep him happy. Fortunately, The Girl never got into them and I have thrown out all The Wiggles merchandise in our house so The Baby will never be exposed to the horror...

Little dingo....oh, little dingo...
I wanna cuppa Dorothy's lovely rosie tea...

Ack! Make it stop! Make it stop!

purseblogger said...

Oh dear. What are the odds they'd all go so close to one another? It's definitely a time of mourning.

Kate said...

Happy blog-iversary! I'm disregarding your wishes and celebrating its 3rd birthday because I've never seen the Wiggles and thus have no funny (even to me) comment to make. It's almost enough to make me want to go back and watch some of the show so I can. Almost.

Jess said...

I must confess. I did it. I don't want that show around when my baby gets old enough to 'enjoy' it.

Dana K said...

This is awesome. Thankfully, it was my niece who loved the Wiggles and not my 1 yr old...

Dana K said...

I mean...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your words provide such comfort during such trying times.

Mindy said...

I was especially saddened by the hot potato incident.

laughingmom said...

Never watched the Wiggles with or without my kids...wouldn't know one if I ran them over with my car...But,seems to late for that wish to come true...

M-Cat said...

Now if we can get those damn little wiggles bumped off too, the world could rest easy again.

Mighty M said...

Tragic, just tragic. They all left way too soon TO WISH YOU A HAPPY 3-Year bloggiversary!! :)

Emmy said...

Somuchblood into?? Was it blood from all the Wigglrs members that died? Or are your hands covered in it? If so I thank you ;)

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

What was that great line? Oh yeah. Happy Birthday?

Julie said...

Yes, that Anthony was nice to look at. I wonder when producers will figure out if they put some mama eye candy on they will get higher ratings. We seriously need a kids' show with Johnny Depp.

Holly said...

I'm a terrible mom... I carefully chose programs for my kids that didn't make me nauseated! Out went Barney, Teletubbies, Between the Lions... Hmmm... there wasn't a whole lot. They did love Disney's Adventures in Wonderland and Out of the Box... I could handle those. LOL!! I don't think the WIGGLES were around when mine were little... RIP ;p

Sue said...

You scared the living daylights out of me!

I saw the initial picture of Greg and thought there had been some kind of tragedy.

The only tragedy is that they continue to live on in my home via my Ipod. I included "Yummy Yummy" in the list of CDs that I copied onto my Itunes years ago and sometimes stun guests when I'm hosting Happy Hour with a surprise surfacing of "Rolling Down the Sandhills."

Oooh. Ah. Wheeeeeeeeee!

Missy said...

Really? Why was Daytime TV not stopped with a News Report?

Lisa Loo said...

I read your post, and then the comments and I am just thoroughly confused........I think..

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Man, what a way to go. However, it did make for an interesting read for us. Especially those of us who were stuck listening to them for way too long.

MBGITWWR said...

Random comment. You may have already heard of these guys and who knows if you like them, but you should check out "Off the Record" by My Morning Jacket. See what you think.

Xazmin said...

I found your blog through MiMi. I must admit - I know nothing about the Wiggles. But I read through some of your other posts as well - you are one funny guy. Too bad you're a Ute fan.

SueLovesCherries said...

I wonder if they're buying perfume from Liz Taylor in the great beyond?

Silver Strands said...

*tears*

Tony Van Helsing said...

Don't know who these guys are but Captain Feathersword sounds like a porn star name for some reason.

gopopgo said...

They may be dead but they --and their songs-- live on in our heads. Forever.

Kristen said...

Did The Wiggles find the fountain of youth before they died or did they do a deal with the devil - they sure don't look their age?! PS - Since you were hinting...
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to a very inspiring blogest (my newly coined term for the BEST bloggers)
AND you are oh so dangerously close to 600 by the way.
1 more thing - if you like Florence, you will LOVE Adele, I promise - best albumn I have bought in awhile (because it's the only one in several years- but that's another story)

jayayceeblog said...

I am truly grateful not to have any kids or grandkids of an age that would want to watch the Wiggles, dead or alive. Sponge Bob and Barney nearly killed me! Happy 3rd Blogiversary, Cheese!!!

Chris Phillips said...

But I thought the wiggles were immortals?!? :bawl:

Unknown Mami said...

Where's your obit?

Mary said...

Now I KNOW I've failed as a parent, how will my boys survive the harsh reality without having the Wiggles as part of their lives??