3-16-11 at 7:00 PM: I'm ashamed to admit than when I play my 4yo son in MarioCart, I never tell him when he's going the wrong direction.
3-15-11 at 8:40 PM: Sometimes I feel like I am walking on eggshells. It's at that moment that I realize that someone has put a chick incubator on the floor.
3-15-11 at 7:05 PM: You're looking at the First Grade Dance Off Champion - - 7 years running now. Broke out some new moves that none of the first graders saw coming. Congratulations to me for tearing up that dance floor today! (And by "dance floor", I mean one of those colorful rugs that first graders sit on.)
3-14-11 at 6:57 PM: If you own one of those giant bounce houses... and you haven't filled it with the neighborhood cats wearing miniature football helmets... well, you're just wasting everyone's time.
3-12-11 at 12:49 PM: I am not saying I am a ladies man or anything, just that for whatever reason, 95% of the facebook "likes" I get are from women.
3-11-11 at 3:05 PM: I wore a suit to school for the first time ever yesterday. First thing a kid says to me is, "Mr. Yospe, it's NOT Sunday and it's NOT the prom!"
3-9-11 at 8:44 PM: I overheard this ACTUAL conversation from two of my first grade boys today: "I've put on a few pounds." "Really? I think that's normal. How many?" "Like 60 since I was born."
3-8-11 at 7:03 PM: Just saw a commercial that saying that if my kids eat fruit snacks, a kid in Africa might get a laptop. Wouldn't it make more sense if I buy a laptop, Africa kids would get fruit snacks?
3-7-11 at 6:11 PM: Just heard a giant CRASH in my 4 year old, son's room. A few moments later he came out and started looking for a glue stick.
3-7-11 at 4:13 PM: Last night I read from the book of Genesis for the first times in YEARS. Today Phil Collins retires. Coincidence? Only God knows.
3-6-11 at 7:10 PM: Arby's is supposed to be 100% roast beef, but I'm always a little suspicious because of all that horsey sauce lying around.
3-5-11 at 3:25 PM: "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers." And this is exactly why every night I pray to hear Garth Brooks songs.
3-4-11 at 2:59 PM: Celebrating 13 blissful years of marriage tonight. It was so awesome of our parents to allow us to get married at age 14. Cool that we had such progressive parents at the time.
3-3-11 at 5:19 PM: If I had a time machine, I would travel back to 1985 and make a movie about the the year 2011. And in that movie, Michael J. Fox would play the part of "Awesome, Handsome Teacher Abe", Charlie Sheen would be played by his father, Martin. And Gary Coleman would play the part of Justin Bieber.
3-2-11 at 4:46 PM: I got a warning letter from the garbage collectors for placing a styrofoam cup in the recycling can. Thinking of tossing an entire human made out of styrofoam just to mess with them. The irony will be that I will have him holding a paper cup.
3-1-11 at 7:11 PM: I guess there's been more than a genie in Christina Aguiler's bottle.
2-28-11 at 4:23 PM: No way Eclipse shouldn't have won last night for "Sound Editing" for editing out all that excess crew laughter at the dialog.
2-27-11 at 1:22 PM: Fingers crossed that this is the year the Oscars finally recognizes me for best costume for my Oct. 31 portrayal of "Lunch Lady"
2-26-11 at 9:13 PM: I've never in my entire life typed an emoticon. So, I am attempting my very first one here on facebook for all (meaning all 15 of you that don't have me on "hide") to see. Here goes nothing -------->>>> C;/
FYI: That's me with a very large brain, winking and feeling ho-hum about watching the Weather Channel at an unreasonable hour.
Forget it, emoticons are not for me.
2-25-11 at 4:39 PM: I hope the next Middle East dictator to step down is Yogaba Gaba.
2-24-11 at 4:42 PM: Both my sons now both own a male Betta fish. AKA: Chinese Fighting Fish. No one at the pet store even questioned us purchasing two at the same time. Now I see how Michael Vick could get away with it so easily.
2-22-11 at 9:45 PM: Saw an ad for the seafood at the Golden Corral. Pretty sure this is the first time I have ever got diarrhea from simply watching a commercial.
2-21-11 at 1:00 PM: Both Disney-On-Ice AND the Monster Truck rally are in town this month. They should just combine the two. "Monster Trucks on Ice!" But be sure to have your kids wear earplugs, Ariel's death screams can be a little frightening to the young ones.
2-20-11 at 5:58 PM: I think you SHOULD hide your light under a bushel because it could start a bushel fire. And if there is one thing I know about bushel fires it's that they're friggen' awesome.
2-19-11 at 2:36 PM: I think an exception to the rule "Don't kill the messenger" would be killing a Singing Telegram Barbershop Quartet in a Humvee.
2-18-11 at 3:10 PM: When I was a kid I dreamed of being a comedian. I became a teacher, which is kinda like being a comedian, except I can punish the hecklers.
*If you have not yet read my last post, "How to Comment on a Lady Blog", Be sure to scroll down and do so. It's proving to be very popular.