|A typical follower of the Blog O' Cheese|
If I wanted people to comment, I may actually have to comment on their blogs first. It was a Catch 22. If I wanted to catch at least 22 comments, I would have to comment on at least 22 other blogs.**
The fortunate/unfortunate problem I was experiencing with blog surfing was that 90% of blogs were owned and operated by women for women. Now, I loved getting comments, but I often was stumped as what I could write on diaper changing, GNO (Girls Now Obnoxious) and stuff having to do with periods and maximum paddings and shirtless Matthew McConkeys. It was too much to handle.
And so, I developed a plan. I created a set of generic comments that I could use for almost any lady blog. I could then just scroll through my list of preset responses and copy and paste the one that best fits their current post.
Now that I have let you in on this patented*** Cheeseboy secret, I might as well share my list of comments. Feel free to comment on THIS post using any of them that you see fit.
Cheeseboy's List of Generic Lady-Blog Comments****
- Wow. Your kids are quite energetic. I bet you have a hard time keeping up with them!
- So sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you.
- Happy birthday!
- We've all had issues with our thongs every now and again. My issue is always the athletes foot, yours is a different kind of fungus.
- Didn't even realize you could do piercings there. Is that safe? How do you apply deodorant?
- My wife uses ammonia and bleach to get that kind of stain out. Always together.
- I've been to Walmart many times and that type of handsy harassment by the greeter has NEVER happened to me.
- If I were around that many giddy women for that amount of time, I'd probably shoot myself in the heart with a crossbow.
- I hate it when my hair does THAT! But my highlights shine much more brightly at the noonday hour.
- I'd enter this giveaway, but I'm really not that interested in a Etsy shop bracelet. Unless they are made with hemp.
- I'd go to spin class but I fear I'd get much too dizzy.
- Your husband is such a giant jerk! All men are... except for me. I am the exception. I am like a woman, only I like woman. Well, one woman. And I'm funny. I am like Ellen Degenerous and your husband is like Charlie Sheen.
- It was a blessed day when my boys had their first crap on the potty.
So, there you have it. A comment for every occasion. Feel free to copy and paste mine, but add your own twist to it. I don't want these women to come on to me. Wait, I mean, I don't want them to catch on to me.
* By "Big Time" I mean other people worship me. Not as "the God", but as "a God".
** Honestly, I have no idea what a Catch 22 is.
*** Not patented yet, but the paperwork has been filed.
**** Actually, I do try and personalize each comment I make. I do make some effort to actually prove I READ the post.