Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Cheeseboy Thoughts on Utah and Two Other Things.

1. First of all, you can find me today at the LG Report.  The LG Report is a hilarious blog.  Its author, Mr. LG, likes to interview one blogger from every state.  I am proud to represent the state of UTAH in his quest.

So, click on over and learn everything there is to know about the great state of UTAH.  I have debunked many myths about our great state and probably started some new ones.

Just so you know, in the interview I mention living in Scranton, PA.  I am not from Scranton, but spent about two years around that area in my early 20's. I did, however, get to see "Scrantonicity" live three times.  Their drummer rules!

2. If you have been an avid Cheese reader from the beginning, you may be aware that I enjoy a good run.  As a so called "runner", I have high ambitions to compete in running competitions.  My goal is to win the Salt Lake City Marathon, but I would settle for coming in last in the Salt Lake City Marathon.

Anyway, I love to run in something called the Ragnar Relay.  This race lasts nearly two full days and you run in teams of twelve. It lasts through the night and if it is your turn to run, you may be running through the Utah backwoods at two or three in the morning.

It's great fun.  But here is the snag: the entry fee is a whopping $90! You see, I teach.  We don't exactly have $90 on hand.

So, here is what I am asking of my readers:  I am looking for one... ONE person (or company) to sponsor me.  For your $90 gift, I will do one of the following three things:

A. Shave your name into my chest hair and run shirtless.
B. Write your name on the back of my running shorts - one name for each cheek.
C. Scream your name over and over and over the entire time I run.

It is your choice!  This could all be yours for only $90. (Plus shipping and handling.)

3. If you missed yesterday's post about the Tigger Mom, I'd be honored if you read it.  (I don't usually post two days in a row, but I felt obligated today) And if you are confused - as I know some of you are - the post was inspired by this book by Amy Chua.  If you have not heard of this book, where have you been the last month or so?

49 comments:

The Stiffs said...

If I weren't trying to pay to bring a kid home, I totally would. Brandi Stiff on your rear would be awesome!

Claire said...

No way, Scranton?? My dad regularly does readings (poetry) there!!! I remember visiting a ton as a kid!
I'm going to go pull my couch apart for change, maybe I could afford an initial in some back hair that way!! :P

Emmy said...

Definitely going to go read your Utah post having once lived there for several years :)

Good luck with the sponsor thing :)

Kate Geisen said...

If I weren't a teacher trying to fund my own marathon dreams, I'd be glad to help you out. I'm also jealous, lacking the chest hair to pimp out for sponsorships. Oh well, there's always the shorts and the loud mouth I have going for me.

Unknown said...

I'm a LG follower and just popped over to check you out! I will be traveling through your blog. This is me traveling>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>kt

Oilfield Trash said...

Good luck with the sponsorship.

Mama-Face said...

Apparently you are one hot dude.

Also, are you the guy driving the Escalade with the RAGNAR sticker? The one I see everywhere I go?

Unknown said...

I hope you get your sponsor! If you do the chest shaving or butt cheek naming, pictures are mandatory!!!

AGuidingLife said...

d'y'all do PayPal? I'd be the butt cheek gal!

Pedaling said...

why don't you just ask each follower to donate .20. Pretty sure you'll even come out ahead with that request.

Amy said...

Ha! My brother runs in the Ragnar and loves it. I personally think it is a little crazy. Good luck winning your marathon. That is on my bucket list. I mean, participating in one is.
Wish I could sponsor you, but unfortunately paying for my hubby to finish school is about all the fun we can have with our couch cushion change. Good luck! Can't wait to see who is the coolest person in the world on your rear and chest. :)

Living Life said...

Hello Cheese. Headed over to LG now to learn about Utah....in the meantime, I wish you all the luck in coming up with $90 bucks. At least you don't have to come up with $900!! $90 is pocket change to some. But I'm just an underpaid overworked church secretary. I will be happy to cheer you on as you run your marathon, though!!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You know, it would almost be worth it to hear you scream my name over and over. Not for weird reasons, just to see how long you could do that before you ran out of air and passed out.

Jamie said...

So what happens if it's 3 in the morning and no one can see the name shaved in your chest or on your shorts due to the lack of daylight? I guess the screaming thing can work, but I don't know how many people will be listening at 3am. Not trying to burst your bubble, but it's something to think about. :)

Lazarus said...

Oh Cheesiest One,
Thanks again for participating in the interview; your great responses are garnering rave reviews on The LG Report. As for the fundraising, maybe we need to approach it in chunks, or slices, to make a cheese analogy. I'm going to mail you a $20 bill (will need u to e-mail me your address separately) to get you started. Hopefully others will follow suit. Good luck and thanks again!

Tom said...

Like you, I am also pleased to just finish (aka winning) a marathon. I'm still trying to collect money from people who pledged to support my 4th grade walkathon.

Kristina P. said...

I will only run if being chased by a rapist, Mario Lopez, or the police.

Unknown said...

Woah! That's A LOT of chest hair! You can shave someones name in it? I'm floored! If I wasn't moving to Guam in a few months I'd happily donate...good luck!

KristinFilut said...

I didn't realize there was anything to learn about Utah, except that it is a big hole in the Earth. Imma hafta go check it out.

Will the registration people take pennies? I'll sponsor you if you can pay in pennies.

Beth Zimmerman said...

I bet you're praying it's not the screaming one! :) You come up with the wildest stunts! Hope you find a sponsor!

Anonymous said...

Off to read what you had to say about our beloved state. :)

I am seriously contemplating sponsoring you just so you can scream my name the entire race. That would be awesome!

Lisa Loo said...

If I thought you were remotely serious I'd donate in a heartbeat--but only if you promise to do NONE of those things with my good name.

tammy said...

So, do you know Michael Scott?

Maybe you should just have 90 people send you $1 each.

Now off to see if I want to admit I'm from the same state you're from...

Impulsive Addict said...

Wow. I have a lot to go and read now.

Do you already have a sponsor? I found $90 today.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Heck, I'd be pleased to just spell "marathon" correctly. Did I? With shipping and handling tagged on, you're sure to get a sponsor. Do keep us posted.
xoRobyn

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Crap, I did take the lead. Do the A to Z Challenge and you'll catch up! Come on - I want to know what you'd come up with for Q and U.

Desperate Housemommy said...

Can I split the sponsorship with someone? Somebody already staked their claim on your butt cheeks. Me? I wish to have my moniker shaven into your back hair. Let me know...

Unknown said...

Sorry - my name on your ass just doesn't appeal to me. Now....if you were willing to bribe all of your readers to come read MY blog...then perhaps I'd go for it!

Miss Bee said...

If I didn't have to pay for a new roof I would mail you the $90 along with polka-dotted iron-on applique letters so that you could put my name on your shorts.... but since I can't, I'd be happy to throw in a $20.....

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Whoo hoo! I love, love, love the Ragnar! I hope the sponsorship comes through!

Teachinfourth said...

I don't know if I'm grossed out or totally impressed...and all for $90?

It is tempting...

TisforTonya said...

as much as I'd love to have my name(s) emblazoned across your heinie... I think the only people who have less cash on hand than teachers are us Stay-at-home-Moms... sorry :(

Unknown said...

I don't know.. to have JENNIFER shaved in a hairy chest almost seems worth $90 :)

mCat said...

OMG - I want you on our team so BADLY! I am considering the sponsering

DeNae said...

Wow. I'm speechless.

Corrina Terry said...

Somehow I missed Tigger Momma. I'll go check it out! :o)

You seriously served a mission in Scranton, PA???? Hilarious!!!

Lourie said...

Gees, why does it have to cost so much? How about a dollar from 90 readers? ;) I could do a dollar.

Unknown said...

I've already forked out way too much money for upcoming relays this year. But if you end up doing Wasatch Back, I'll look for your hairy chest, or the back of your shorts, or just keep an ear out for your hollers!

Ken Craig said...

Abe, I would love to give you $90. Can you break a $1,000 bill?

Debbie said...

This is where the gender discrimination starts. See, women have no chest hair to shave sponsor's names into.
Well, not most of us.

Silver Strands said...

which mission? I grew up in southeastern PA. Anyway, glad to know where the Utah rumors start. And I'm tempted to go do some panhandling to gather up that 90 bucks ... If I give you $5, what do I get?

Julie said...

I'd donate if daycare wasn't so slow. I'd love to see JSS on your butt. I do like the idea of a dollar from each of us and you can just put your blog name on your butt. Just a thought you've already read at least 10 times so far.
I love the interview with Tiggers mom.
Take care and have a blessed weekend.

Missy said...

I like Pedaling's idea! Two bucks from each of us and you have enough for a donut before the race!

Unknown said...

Abe! Did you see this????
http://wildlifeinthewoods.blogspot.com/2011/02/ask-me-anything-coffee-bean-giveaway.html

Once again, you are my muse!

This time, I'm bribing my readers to participate.

I HOPE you will, too!!!!!!!!!!

mintifresh said...

You should seriously put up a PayPal and you'd get that $90 so fast!

Pat Tillett said...

I'm on my way to check the other place out! I can't sponser you, because, well, I'm cheap...

Joann Mannix said...

Why do you post these things when people in my family have died? Seriously? I am behind the times. Do you still need the donation? I need ma name carved out in your back hair. Or did your wife wax that, too. She's a good woman, you know. Seriously, let me know, dude. Still up with the fam, but I'm checking my internet when I can.

Unknown said...

I will go check out your guest post as soon as I'm finished typing this comment. I wish I had $90 to give to you! Also? I loved your Tigger post!

Mary said...

I will send you $20 if you wear one of my Breast Cancer Awareness bracelets that is black with pink letters that read "I Love Boobies." I'm totally serious!