Friday, February 25, 2011

An Example of why I Drive my Wife Insane.

- It's my dad's birthday today.  I better call him.

- K.

- We have to go to my mom's on Saturday for my dad's birthday party.

- Uh huh. 

- We're supposed to bring salad. I hate bringing salad because no one ever eats salad.

- Hm. 

- So don't make any plans for Saturday because we will be at my parents for my dad's birthday.

- Okay.

- I'll guess I'll have to go to the store on Friday to get some salad.  What kind of salad do you think we should get?

- What?

- What kind of salad do you think we should get?

- I don't know.

- What kind of salad do you like?

- I don't know, I don't really eat salad that often. 

- Well, what kind of salad do you think my family would like?

- I don't know.  Why would I know that?

- Because I need to know for Saturday.

- Why, what is on Saturday?

- My dad's birthday party! Do you ever listen to me?!

- When is your dad's birthday?

- Today! I TOLD YOU THAT!

- So what's the salad for?

- NEVER MIND! YOU NEED TO START LISTENING!

- I DO listen!

57 comments:

Poetic Justice said...

LOL....I am the same way! I only listen to half of what people say and end up getting it all wrong anyway! Happy B-Day to Dad in law, what was it you were supposed to bring again? ;-)
~M

Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

It must be all that fromage blocking your ear ducts!

middle child said...

Oh honey,...you don't need to drive your wife crazy. She can find her own way there like the rest of us do.

Kristina P. said...

I assume you are the salad maker, right? :)

Oilfield Trash said...

I have been told that I am the same exact way.

Kate said...

My husband is always on me for not listening (I don't), but he never remembers a thing I say. So I figure we're more or less even.

Pat said...

Gosh this sounds SOOOOO familiar!

Lazarus said...

I have a friend who has a term for talking to much: Word Salad. E.g. He made a word salad and I tuned out. I don't know if this is actually relevant here, but was the only comment that I could think of at the time. This comment has become a written word salad at this point. Maybe you can bring it to your wife's family... Funny post!

Cruella Collett said...

Your wife is wrong. Clearly you do listen, or you wouldn't have been able to record the conversation for our enjoyment ;)

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

I'm surprised this is entitled "An Example of why I Drive my Wife Insane." Shouldn't it be "The Countless Ways I Drive my Wife Insane?!" I'm surprised you only had one example to share! :) My husband always reminds me that was in the "fine print" when we got married & I just failed to read it!

mintifresh said...

Sounds like conversations at my house, too. But I have to admit, it does go both ways!

Pat Tillett said...

I usually end up saying this to my wife... "I do listen to you, I just ignore what you say..."

Man, she can get loud!

lisleman said...

confused - who paid attention and wrote this down? One of the kids?

Heidi (lilmommyfoofoo) said...

I remember moments like these. Nowadays it is just my kids that ignore me.

i.e.
Me: Throw your wrapper away.
Child: OK.
Me: Make sure you get your wrapper in the garbage.
Child: I will mom!
Me: The garbage can is right over there.
Child: OK.
(Child throws wrapper on the floor)

Mindy said...

This sounds like a conversation at my house. My husband always tells me he doesn't worry about remembering things or keeping track of the details because he knows I will. It's normal for him to ask me 3 times or more in a week (often after we've just "discussed" it), what is happening on a certain date. Ugh!

From Tracie said...

Is there a secret class that husband take before the wedding in driving their wife crazy and not listening? Because your listening skills are exactly like my husband's.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I have that same conversation too with myself all the time. I just end up buying potato salad. Works like a charm.
xoRobyn

Kelley said...

This is absolutely a conversation we have at my house all the time! This weekend we have a family birthday party at my great aunt's house and I've told him a million times. He still isn't clear on our weekend plans.

We are the same!

Joann Mannix said...

So, we were in the CAR on the way up to the funeral. I mean, you cannot escape someone talking to you while in a CAR when they're in the passenger seat next to you. I told my hubs a whole story involving a cake and a cat. And I can't repeat it here, because it would be longer than this post, but trust me when I tell you it was a very good cake/cat story. And on my last line, my hubs said, "You know, I'm sorry, but I really wasn't listening. What did you say?"

It was a story about a cake and a cat. How much better can you get? Also, too, did I mention we were in a CAR? What is wrong with you men?

Susan in the Boonies said...

I am familiar with this conversation.

It's a lot like that old Far Side cartoon in regard to What Dogs Hear vs. What Dogs Understand.

What Dogs Hear: Ginger! I've told you a thousand times to stay out of the garbage can, Ginger! Keep your snoot where it belongs! Do you understand me, Ginger?

What Dogs Understand: Ginger! Blah, blah, blah blah, Ginger! Blah, blah blah! Blah, blah blah Ginger?

Try not to be offended that in this example, Abe, that men are being compared to dogs, Abe. Do you understand me, Abe?

Blah blah blah....

MBGITWWR said...

Check out "Opinions vs. the Sun" by the band Stars. You might like it. Just sayin....

MBGITWWR said...

You may not. I guess we'll see.

Cynthia said...

Snicker! My husband requires advance notice of all social activities so he can mentally 'gear up' for it! Assuming of course he remembers...

-stephanie- said...

Tell you dad Happy Birthday.
Or is it your father-in-law?

Corrina Terry said...

Your poor wife!

ThreeOldKeys said...

i get the husband's semi-alert attention when i call him by his last name.

for some reason, it works. maybe she should start sentences with "Cheese!"

A Daft Scots Lass said...

I've got some great salad recipes that guest actually eat.

Nicole said...

heh heh.. yep.. yep

Everyday Goddess said...

Too funny!

tammy said...

You and Luvpilot will be very happy together when you're both kicked out of the house.

Holly Ruggiero said...

Yes, that would do it. By the way, everyone loves Chinese Chicken Salad. I think because the dressing is sweet.

Pedaling said...

and then you husbands wonder why we repeat ourselves over and over again!

Middle-aged Mormon Man said...

I'm riding to Abe's defense. What nobody has mentioned is that the reason this conflict even occurred is that Abe was accosted by a completely unnecessary conversation.

I'm sure his dear wife is completely capable of calling her dad, choosing what kind of salad to make, going to the store, making the salad, and telling the family "get in the car - we are going to grampa's birthday party" all by herself! He did not need to be involved at all - the outcome would have been no different, because she is going to do what she's going to do anyway.

Besides, Abe was probably doing something important at the time, like making the world a better place with amusing Facebook status updates.

Teachinfourth said...

You also have stake conference...

Just thought you'd want a reminder about that, too.

LOL

Connie said...

Are you sure you're not related to my hubs? You're just a younger version of him.

Insanity is an escape from it all!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

What is it with women, anyway?

Marnie said...

The dialogue hits a little too close to home...lol! Glad to know I'm not the only one :0)

David said...

I'm a lot better at faking it than you are. You should've just told her a kind of salad and been done with it! hahaha

Lisa Loo said...

You would be surprised how many times the word "green" can be an appropriate answer to a question from a conversation you were not listening to.

Lisa Loo said...

Sorry--its a joke my husband and I have....

sinika said...

I wonder at what point for girls life becomes all about getting together and for boys life is about glazed looks and grunts?

The Church Lady said...

This sounds like a typical conversation I have with my 14 year old DAILY. I know it drives me crazy!!

Allyson & Jere said...

Yep! So, SO how it is at our house. Except many times, it's the other way around. My husband SWEARS I never listen to anything he says.

M-Cat said...

You have captured the essence of EVERY conversation that happens at most houses between spouses.

At my house it's even worse when one of us is sleep deprived. The same damn question gets asked over and over and over and over again.

Amanda said...

Sadly, as I read this post to my hubby over the phone (he is in Afghanistan) he fell asleep on the phone, and I was left saying "Aaron! Are you listening to me?" ....(snoring)

Mikki said...

Sure you were listening, you just weren't absorbing the information. I do that all the time.

Queenie Jeannie said...

Oh man! My husband is the same way!!! And yes, it drives me crazy too!!!!!

Deborah said...

I constantly tell myself to not natter on and on to my poor, long-suffering hubbins, but I just can't help it!

I have gotten to the point where I'll punctuate a statement with, "You actually need to listen to this because it's important." It sometimes works.

Heh!

Rachel said...

Eek. You're making me mad at my husband and he didn't even do that this time! ;) This is just so typical of our conversatinos (ie: Target yesterday trying to decide on a gift for a friend... went down almost exactly like your post, minus the lettuce)

Hope they liked the salad!

Mary said...

The hubby and I had a simliar conversation yesterday, with the same result!

T said...

have you been listening in on my conversations with ManOfTheHouse?

oh wait, silly me - I always get assigned Jell-O... apparently they don't trust me with Salad.

Kristen said...

Did you just write about eating salad with your Dad at a bithday party? Where was your wife?


How does it feel??? ;)

We have those same conversations over here so it is NOT a Utah thing don't worry!

Lourie said...

I am just as guilty of this as he is. Except I think mine is 50% distraction and the other 50% is literally I do not hear him. So basically if he wants to tell me something he should text me or email me. ;)

Kellie said...

Why is it so easy to tune family out?

Jason, as himself said...

This clearly must all be happening while you are TRYING to blog. Am I right?

RaShelle said...

It's so sad and EXACTLY true. =D

tiburon said...

You and my husband...