Friday, January 28, 2011

Saturday Graph: The 1st Grade Vomit Cycle


By Cheeseboy

61 comments:

Sue said...

So. I am a former 4th grade teacher. As soon as I SAW your post I began to retch. Bring me a stankn' trash can, call the custodian....and...UNCLE!!

Gerb said...

It's only funny because it's true!

Kristina P. said...

So, so true!

Poetic Justice said...

Very true! With four kids 7 and under, it's fun times when the dreaded stomach bug travels through our house!

Kate said...

One of the best things about being a teacher is the ability to call someone in to clean up vomit.

Kate said...

One of the best things about being a teacher is the ability to call someone in to clean up vomit.

Pedaling said...

maybe just believe them and go with it every time....just in case.

snickerdoodleloves said...

Bwahahaha!!! I used to be that kid :) Except I was the weird one that wanted to stay in class and not go home. Which leads me to say I was the jerk that got everyone else sick too. *Insert evil laugh here*

Mamma has spoken said...

Grossest (guess that's a word) one was when a student threw up all over the teacher's desk (not mine thankgoodness). Reason being, teacher wouldn't listen to him when he was trying to get her attention about having to go to the bathroom. Instead she made him wait in line behind others at her desk for his turn. By the time it was his turn, well I think you know....

Cluttered Brain said...

Ugh. that's WHY I don't teach 1st grade. I can only clean up my own kid's puke. and deal with their vomit...
but atlas that is true....

Kristen said...

This is the one time I do not ever want your job. How do you keep going through the day after that? I STILL remember the kid in 3rd grade who threw up in their gym shoes that were tied to their desk. STILL remember that kid's name.

tammy said...

When I was a kid I always thought what a sucky job the custodian had, having to clean up puke all the time. I vowed to never be one.

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

Oh my Lord. My hat's off to you, Abe. Other kids' puke-in-school incidents STILL haunt me from my own childhood (Jack: preschool. Stephen: first grade. Meghan-with-an-h: third grade. And I can picture them all with stomach-turning clarity.)

I don't know how you do it. Honestly.

The Church Lady said...

That is one vicious cycle! At least you didn't have to clean it up.

Sausage Fingers said...

And the moral of the story - it sucks to b the janitor.
Cheers, Sausage...

Pearl said...

I would like to hear this cycle read to me by David Attenborough...

Pearl

Georgina Dollface said...

Poor little dudes. At the young age of 6, the gag reflex upon smelling or seeing someone else's vomit hasn't quite evolved in the same way as it has in older kids and adults, otherwise that janitor would probably have to bring in a fire hose to clean the floor. (I'm having visions of the blueberry pie vomit scene in Stand By Me.)- G

Eva Gallant said...

Been there, done that. ugh!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Nope, couldn't handle that!

Jess said...

Well.... I USED to want to be a teacher. Ha

Oilfield Trash said...

I am all too used to that cycle with my own kids. Glad I am not a teacher.

lori said...

Oh, that's funny! It's so true that when a kid says they feel like they're going to throw up you just don't mess around with that. It's like if the oil light comes on in your car. You know it means something very very bad.

Melinda said...

Seriously though, you never know if they're just fine or they're going to ralph all over the place, what a way to live! (Hey, where'd your "bad" post go?!)

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

You teachers have too many unpleasantries in that little "other duties as assigned" clause.
xoRobyn

Leenie said...

Condolences to the custodians, the teachers and the parents who have to clean barf. Another bad one is the bed spew at 2 a.m.

Once I decorated the hall on the way to the ladies room when I was a h.s. senior. Thank goodness everyone was in class at the time. Call the janitor!

Holly Ruggiero said...

Ah, yes. Life as a teacher must be peachy.

Holly said...

AH!! The joy of BLEH!! ;p

Pat Tillett said...

Oh yeah! Just because they are in first grade, it doesn't mean they aren't smart! Great post...

Joann Mannix said...

I couldn't be a first grade teacher because of the vomit. It's bad enough when my own kids vomit, like the time my 3 year old came into my room in the middle of the night. She woke me up, said her tummy hurt and proceeded to vomit all over me. I hadn't even opened my second eye yet. She'd had spaghettios for dinner.

dbs said...

Custodian? I wish.

RaShelle said...

I do not envy your position as a teach, even though, I'm sure you're FABULOUS! More than your job, I don't ENVY the custodians position. Blech!! LOL

Lourie said...

You are my hero!! I wouldn't last one day. Thank you. Seriously.

Marnie said...

You have captured this to a T. Scary. Very scary. True...but scary.

Casa Mariposa said...

Whenever one of my students comes near me holding their stomach, I yell, "Run to the bathroom! Run! Run!" They catch on and soon I'm teaching a class of 3. Outstanding!!!

WA said...

Oh, my gosh--I LOVE this chart. And not just because my first grader threw up on my feet last Thursday. Very funny.

Wendi

sinika said...

Do they still use sawdust to clean it up like the olden days?

Martha (MM) said...

I work at a school and have 3 kids of my own - SO true! Hope Disney was a blast and can't wait to see you in your Barney costume soon :-)

Unknown Mami said...

Seriously, I have been surrounded by vomit for what seems like an eternity. Make it stop!

Amanda said...

This post is pure genius, and I just needed you to know.

Amanda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Connie said...

In our transitional kindergarten class, we've had some vomit incidents and they were usually on the floor. The janitor got REALLY upset and wondered why we couldn't teach our special ed kindergartner to get to the bathroom! Sounds like 1st graders are not much different!

Nicole said...

I think kids learn to speak way too soon. Evolution effed that one up. I'd rather not play vomit Russian roulette. Just keep quiet about what migh tbe illness or might be boredom and puke when you have to, okay kids?

Excellent graph!

Sandra said...

And how often do you bring the "I'm gonna vomit" bug home? My deepest sympathies.

SueLovesCherries said...

Sounds like my 18 year old!

Jillybean said...

You've been talking to my son's former teachers, haven't you?

GrammyMouseTails said...

why is it that within the first week that school opens in fall 1 or more adults in the house hold with elementary students, always comes down with the flu or pneumonia?? that being asked... this vomit cycle happens EVERYwhere!ackk!
we normal adults just don't have the "power" to call someone else to clean up the mess :( , it must come with the teaching certificates when you graduate, huh?

Impulsive Addict said...

I had to scroll down so far do to your overwhelming paparazzi that I almost forgot was I was about to say!

I think a smart investment for 1st grade teachers is a trash can at every desk during snot season. And a small box of kleenex. Those little guys are GERM MAGNETS.

T said...

too true...

too stinkin' true...

too stinkin' oozin' slimin' blasted true.

mintifresh said...

Somebody grab the sawdust!!!!!

Luckily, that has not been one of my children.....yet...

Corrina Terry said...

Sounds similar to 7th grade, but they make it to the garbage can in the corner or the restroom down the hall. I have yet to have a kid barf under his desk. (Watch---it'll happen this week just because I wrote this!)

I totally hear ya though. That barfy flu stuff spreads like wildfire and works it's way through the room.

Time to (gulp) barf. :o/

Pat said...

Nothing like the smell of fresh puke wafting on the air. Although I don't know what's worse - that sawdust crap they throw on top of the puke to absorb it or the puke itself.

I have sympathy vomiting, so whenever a kid threw up at the public library, my boss KNEW not to call me to clean it up!

Jenn said...

It's graphs like this that make me thankful I'm an accountant!! LOL

Chris Phillips said...

I taught mostly second, but you need a trashcan by the desk in there. Also forgot the kid who says they threw up, but accidentally flushed it so there is no evidence anywhere, but really I'm sick mr. phillips. no really.

Lazarus said...

That's an awesome chart! By the way, did I miss the Chinese food pick-up or are we still waiting? Your anxious readership is revved up to see this video!

Kelley said...

Hahaha!!! I feel like I'm right in the cycle with you...and the sick kid. Feeling dizzy. Gotta go.

Lene said...

That looks much like the family of 5 kids vomit cycle.

Missy said...

Again, God Bless You!
I do love the smell of the saw dust stuff they cover vomit with!

Jason, as himself said...

Yep. It never, ever ends.

Last year a boy threw up ALL OVER a girl in my class. She was way less mortified than I would have been!

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

LOL! Glad to say we haven't had anything to do with this since October! hehe

M-Cat said...

And yet another reason why being a teacher would never work out for me.

Teachinfourth said...

Man, we have the same cycle in the 6th grade.

Did I mention that this post was brilliant?

Oh, and thanks for the shout-out. Thou art awesome.