Next year, before I receive one of the following cutesy letters with a load of mystery brownies on my doorstep:
I'm putting this signs on my door:
FYI to "Ghosters":
If you leave your sweet smelling snacks
You should probably also leave a garbage sack
It's not that I want to be rude
It's just I don't eat mystery food!
Your kitchen might be coated with buckets of cat urine
And the milk you used might be as old as Martin Van Buren
And maybe you are a famous chef and you like to bake
But that is a risk I would NOT like to take!
Perhaps if you told me who you are, I would eat
Or maybe I'd be puking through the hole in our toilet seat
Not only will you leave worthless food at my door
But now you have given me a crappy chore
Now I have to leave someone my mystery cake
That will likely give a fool a belly ache
Yes, I know I'm going to hell.
But unless it's store-bought, it's going in the pail.