Friday, November 12, 2010

If I were these famous people...

If I were Neil Diamond I'd go get free samples from Costco and when the old ladies told me what aisle the food was on, I'd look at them in disappointment and say, "Do you even know who I am?"

If I were Britney Spears, I'd ask Justin Beiber over.  We'd shave our heads, have him get a butterfly tattoo on his lower back and force him to watch his own music videos. (*This may or may not have already actually happened.)

If I were Oprah, I'd get those strange lines on my cheeks fixed.

If I were Matt Damon, I would make a public statement that I am in fact NOT Abe and that any resemblance is purely coincidental.

If I were Snooki, I'd try out for the part of DJ Lance's wife on Yo Gabba Gabba.

If I were DJ Lance, I'd start wearing a different color jumpsuit.

45 comments:

MBGITWWR said...

How do you come up with this stuff? Really? The Neil Diamond one is classic!

M-Cat said...

Wait! Matt Damon isn't Abe the Cheeseboy?
dammit

SparkleFarkle said...

"...fat gal on Glee...

How do you come up with this stuff? Really. Not LOL.

Heff said...

Sheeeit ! ANY old lady out there is GONNA KNOW who Neil Diamond is, lol !!

Melinda said...

Really are you a glutton for punishment?! You should know by now not to mention Yo Gabba Gabba! I hope nothing bad comes of this...(and by "hoping nothing bad comes of this" I TOTALLY hope something comes from this!!)

Pedaling said...

Seriously, what IS up with those lines/indentations in Oprah's cheeks?
So, glad I'm not the only one wondering.

Eva Gallant said...

You've been eating those funny brownies again, haven't you?

MiMi said...

Hahahaha!! That's funny. DJ Lance REALLY needs to find a different color hat, at least.

mintifresh said...

I don't even know how Snookie is!

DJ Lance should just be eliminated!

The resemblance between you and Matt is uncanny!

-stephanie- said...

oh cheeze, now I have to go find a picture of Oprah to see what strange lines you're talking about.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

I agree with the Snooki one. It'd be a step up for her, but a step down for DJ. xo

Saimi said...

I am so happy I don't fit into the category of an old lady cause I would totally recognize Neil Diamond.

As a matter of fact, Neil and I would eat samples together and he'd sing 'Sweet Caroline' to me, replacing Carolines name for mine of course.

Julie said...

You are so funny. You make me laugh. Oh by the way, you can't get rid of me, I'm following you forever. Poor Cheeseboy can't get rid of me. Lo)
Have a great weekend. Take care and God Bless!!

Lisa Loo said...

Ever since you posted that pic of you as a lunch lady I really can't picture you as anyone else anymore--sorry...it has been seared on my brain..sssssssss...

Tom said...

I have never seen any lines on Oprah's face so I'm not sure what you are talking about. I've spent the last ten minutes Googling pictures of her. I wasn't planning on spending my Friday night doing this, but it's more fun than watching TV.

Jackie said...

I love Neil. But if I saw him at Costco I might not recognize him either. Bummer.

Connie said...

If I were Neil Diamond I'd never sing "O Holy Night" again, because he stinks at it! However, it's OK if he goes to Costco and eats samples.
I don't think I'd recognize DJ Lance without his orange jumpsuit!
Lines on Oprah's face? I gotta check it out!
Food for thought, Cheeseboy. Food for thought.

dbs said...

If I were Russell Crowe I would, wait a minute, I would throw a telephone at someone. Yeah, no. I think it's better not to be a celebrity.

Holly said...

LOL!! ;p

Joann Mannix said...

Neil Diamond, Justin Bieber and Britney Spears. Put them all together and you've got a great segment for, "How on earth did these people become superstars?"

My guess? Justin's hair. Britney's snake and slutalicious ways. Neil Diamond's Sansabelt pants and hairy everything.

And if I were the Edge I would make out with Bono all the time, whether Bono wanted to or not.

wrekehavoc said...

snooki and dj lance -- now that's inspired!

Mamma has spoken said...

Kelly Ripa, now that's one I would want to be like!

Unknown Mami said...

I've noticed those lines on Oprah's face, they create totally different planes.

Kelley said...

So impressed that you knew that the orange jumpsuit guy in Yo Gabba Gabba was DJ Lance. Can you do something about his glasses, too?

W.C.Camp said...

Wow does Neil Diamond look like that anymore ... I thought he was a dried up piece of jerky by now?
W.C.C.

Missy said...

LOL! O does have funny lines on her cheek!

Jason, as himself said...

If I were DONALD TRUMP I would do something with my horrible hair!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Ah, thanks Cheeseboy! now I'll have ND songs in my head all night. and that jumpsuit? I totally agree.

Pearl said...

I thought I was the only one wondering about the lines on Oprah's cheeks!

Pearl

KyAnn (like Cayenne Pepper, only HOTTER) said...

What the H is Yo Gabba Gabba?

KyAnn (like Cayenne Pepper, only HOTTER) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bits-n-Pieces said...

who is Abe?

SueLovesCherries said...

Hey - Matt Damon is one of my home boys! You should be honored that he looks so much like you!

SueLovesCherries said...

Hey - Matt Damon is one of my home boys! You should be honored that he looks so much like you!

Corrina Terry said...

How do you come up with this stuff? My fav was the Neil Diamond one!!!! "Hello, my friend, hello . . ." :o)

McKenzie said...

Too funny!

Pat said...

Hahahahahahaha!

mice_aliling said...

I'm also wondering what those lines on Oprah's face are...

Emmy said...

Lol! Yo Gabba Gabba scares me

Teachinfourth said...

You aren't Neil Diamond?

Man, was I ever mistaken...

T said...

and to think I've been missing out on all the joy that is Yo Gabba Gabba... how do I live with myself?

Danielle said...

Hilarious! I liked the Snooki and DJ Lance ones! ;)

DEZMOND said...

Oh, I really hope you'll never get your hands on poor Bieber. As Britney's impostor or not, it doesn't matter ;)

Pat Tillett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pat Tillett said...

It must suck always having the papa papa paparazzi chasing you around all the time calling you Matt...

I wish BS would take JB into a room and only she would emerge. Now that i think about it, I hope neither of them emerge...