Tuesday, November 9, 2010

An open letter to my beloved followers that still remain...

Dearest followers and wannabes,

I am in the midst of a very busy time.  Not only do I have parent teacher conferences, but I am also in the process of getting my idea for waterless Bobbing for Apples game patented.

It's a long and winding road, but if I am to get this waterless idea off the ground and onto Target's shelves, I can finally rent that cabana boy and his giant, cooling leafs from the isles of Cabana.

What I am trying to say is PLEASE DON'T UNFOLLOW ME!  I've lost 4 followers in 12 hours! Most likely because they realized I was a complete moron, which is undoubtedly true.

I promise I'll be back on Friday with a post of hilarity, or at the very least, a post worthy of a small, gruntlike chuckle.

With love and big ups,

Abe

PS: While you are awaiting a new post, please enjoy this photo of a small elephant chained to the back of a public toilet.

74 comments:

MBGITWWR said...

I do have to say that the elephant was odd enough to make me chuckle! Thanks. I really needed that. :)

Miley said...

Sadly, on the underside of the elephant there is scrawling that says "For a good time, please do not attempt to use me"

Pearl said...

Now why would anyone unfollow YOU?!

Pearl

Melinda said...

4 people in the last 12 hours huh? What did you do in the last 12 hours to piss people off?! Don't worry, I'm sticking around and thats really all that matters right?

One Cluttered Brain said...

oh I'm here!
i'm not going anywhere...
You and I are going places...K?

Nicole said...

I HATE when people unfollow! I tell you what - it's about time I share some of my favorite blogs, so I will do a special post tonight about my fave blogs and maybe you can gain some new followers!

Gucci Mama said...

Elephant chained to toilet = win.

Ash said...

is the elephant supposed to make us poop faster? :os

i understand how it goes as i'm trying to juggle my life with work, home and uni too. i'll be here. :)

Marla said...

I have been unfollowed by two people just today. Did they not realize I was ignorant, uncouth and in need of serious medication/therapy before hitting the follow button? Idiots!

Ok, I kid. I am actually whimpering over my loss so I promise to not unfollow you. You have been warned.

Copyboy said...

I'll never leave you. BTW...Cabana fan boys cost an arm and a leg. Go with a Vornado® fan instead. Trust me.

M-Cat said...

Like I could quit your Cheeseboy.

I could quit cheese - well, technically not since I never started, but I'm not going anywhere. You're not getting off that lucky

M-Cat said...

I just realized I said YOUR Cheeseboy. That came out wrong.

um....awkward silence...

Teachinfourth said...

You've been unfollowed? I thin it must be a computer glitch...

Jason, as himself said...

Those four people have lost a part of their lives that they will never be able to find anywhere else. Of that I'm certain.

The elephant chained to the toilet? Reason enough to stick around...

Kal said...

People should be forced to give me a good reason to unfollow. I had someone follow and unfollow in the space of a day. Who does that? Bad enough they clearly have no taste if they leave either you or me.

purseblogger said...

You can't get rid of me that easily. I'm stayin' put. I have been horrible about blogging/posting/commenting lately. I think it's going around.

mice_aliling said...

I am most def not unfollowing you. I get my moments of offline busy-ness. :)

Kristina P. said...

Not only will I NOT Unfollow you, but I will make everyone I know Follow you! So take that!

Unknown Mami said...

What you need to do is contact the makers of Jello and start a bobbing for apples in Jello game.

Don't worry about the lost followers. Sometimes people leave, but others will come.

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

I hate it when people unfollow too. It's a downer huh? Don't they realize we were half way to seeing you dressed up like Barney? I bet you put that elephant in the boys bathroom huh? Good luck making it through PT conf. & such. At least you get Friday off, right? You do - don't you?!

Holly said...

It's ALL GOOD, ABE... We await your wisdom!! ;p (Hmmm... SO the wisdom you're TRYING to impart here is... "LIFE HAPPENS!" The elephant really drove it home! HAH!!) ;p WOW!! You're GOOD!!

Donda said...

I would totally buy a plate of apples from you. That would be super fun!!!
See ya on Friday.

The Bipolar Diva said...

Sorry, you're stuck with me.

Kitty said...

No worries. I love this blog. Also, your mention of a waterless bobbing for apples game reminded me of something I rigged up for a Halloween party one time involving a cardboard box, a fan, and about a dozen or so ping pong balls. Fun times.

Tom said...

I hate it when that happens. Darn unfollowers!

Fragrant Liar said...

Somebody needs to start a campaign to FREE ELLIE.

Allyson & Jere said...

Hey, Kristina P is threatening to make all she knows follow you. I'd say you're in GOOD hands now.

People who unfollow are lame. Sorry lame-o's put a crimper in your day.

The good news is, I'm still here. As well as 400+ other people. So fear not cheese, fear not.

And P.S. you are a hero for just getting THROUGH parent teacher conferences. You DESERVE a break, and not just McDonalds either.

Connie said...

Only 4 in 12 hours? You're lucky!
Hang in there and get that Barney costume dusted off! You'll be needing it soon!

Yanet @ 3 Sun Kissed Boys said...

Well, it's agood thing that it's chained, otherwise I'd have taken it home for sure!!

Lene said...

Curse the unfollowers.

Can't they just be like me and neglect your little gem of a blog for weeks at a time and then come back for a little cheese?

Joan said...

Leave the cheese?! Never! I lost a follower too, but that's ok. I'm really quiet these days.

Hope your conferences go well.

Powdered Toast Man said...

I've lost like 5 followers in the past two weeks. It's their loss, don't sweat it.

I was wondering where I left that elephant. Can you mail it back to me?

unmitigated me said...

I'm just concerned over why the elephant needs to be restrained.

baygirl32 said...

wow it only takes one chain to restrain the little guy.

Kelly said...

It's always a mystery why someone unfollows. Makes you wonder what you did right?

I promise to stay the coarse. Good luck with the cabana boy.

Jenn said...

Leave you? Are you kidding me? I'd wait months for your posts, that's how entertaining you are :) Good luck with the waterless idea...oh and good luck with those parents too!

-stephanie- said...

Why would anyone not want to see you pick up Chinese take out in a Barney costume? Fools.

Mighty M said...

I'm not going anywhere!

Joann Mannix said...

Thanks for the chained elephant on the back of the toilet. That was very considerate. Did you put that there? I wouldn't be surprised.

Now, Cheese, pay no mind to those who unfollow. As you well know, I've been a bit spotty myself lately due to bigger things. (What there are bigger things that blogging? Shut yo mouth!) Anyway, I've come to the brilliant realization: Anyone who unfollows because you've missed a few days of blogging or anyone who unfollows because you haven't visited their blog, weren't real followers in the first place. Real followers stand by and wait patiently. Real followers don't get miffed because you haven't commented on every single ding dang one of their posts. Unfollowers are douches and who wants more douches in their life? Not me. I'm at Walmart all the time. I've got my fill.

Now go ahead and confer your cheese heart out. And I dare you to say to the parents of the worst kid, "Listen Folks, there's no way around this. Johnny is an asshole and he's bound for a life of crime. So the best advice I can give you, is start a little nest egg called the bail fund." Do it. You know you want to.

Marion Williams-Bennett said...

Good luck with the Parent Teacher conferences - that must be so difficult for teachers. I am imaging these parents who think their child is a genius and you have to tell them he's "grade level."

We had our conference today and this quote is ringing for me "Math is an area of concern." For us all really.

good luck!

Marnie said...

I will be back on Friday. My we had our Parent-Teacher interview last week, so I can just imagine how busy you must be. I appreciate it even more since my daughter is in Grade 1 and a complete Monkey.

Great picture btw :0)

Hart Johnson said...

You know, the Cabana Boys are cheaper at Cabanas R us...

I lost a follower yesterday, too--wonder if someone went offline--I had thought I scared them away with bodacious man-butts, so I am feeling oddly reassured I am not alone... Hang in there!

Eva Gallant said...

I lose followers from time to time, too. Don't take it so personally. Some people follow in the hope you will follow them. When you don't, they stop following.

Baby Sister said...

Hahaha. I love the picture!! That is just awesome.

Good luck on the followers not sticking around...

MiMi said...

I can't quit you!!! I love the teeny elephant on the TORlet.

Kellie said...

Maybe they're all planning on coming back to be the 500th follower. Or maybe they had a premonition about the elephant-that is freaky.

Noelle said...

Okay, you talked me out of it.

Deidra said...

Just keep the funny pictures coming every few days, and we'll be fine!

Seriously. That crap is funny.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Not going anywhere!
Good luck with that game.
And that is the most random photo I have ever seen.

Amanda said...

You are an extremely strange man. Needless to say, I'm hanging in -- no unfollowing here!

Posh Totty said...

Still following ;o)

Oliver said...

Why would anyone un-follow your blog!? That's stupid! =\

PS: Don't be gone for as long a time as ScoMan... I haven't read from him in ages.

The Church Lady said...

Now I'm very curious about this waterless bobbing for apples. Sounds interesting.

You definitely got a chuckle out of me with the photo of the elephant. Bizzare.

Kristen said...

Dear Cheeseboy-
In preparation for conferences can you kindly get BIG PEOPLE chairs for the parents to sit on and a BIG PEOPLE table? YOU can sit in the little people chair if you like it though....(Conferences is a word like: Dentist, bills, detention, suspension, mammogram, layoff, guilt, adjustment, and in your kind of terms - GRILLED CHEESE) just sayin, be nice! ;)

Nancy C said...

You must do a short story or perhaps a screenplay explaining the story of that elephant.

And please don't unfollow me either...life has taken away my blogging mojo. Or Blojo.

wendy said...

Nothing says ..??????... like an elephant chained to a public toilet.

just one more reason I hate public toilets.

I was once married to a teacher..I understand parent/ teacher iinterviews. Busy

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Anyone who would unfollow you has a screw loose. That waterless bobbing for apples game, utterly brilliant. Good luck with it! xo

Misfit Mommy (aka the Antichrist) said...

First - what is up with the elephant?? Wait, maybe I don't want to know...

Second - Still following you, and don't plan on leaving anytime soon.

Third - Best of luck with the parent teacher conferences! It's the time of year where you find out exactly why it is little Sally acts like she does! In fact, with parents like that, you should be happy that Sally/Johnny/Joe/insert name here, doesn't act even worse!

Joe Cap said...

Elephant chained to a public toilet...
Do we need any further proof that it is a good idea to ALWAYS have a camera with you??

jordan @ mean mommy academy said...

Oh, Mr. Of The Cheese- I may not comment often, but I do read. And I would never unfollow. So if you see that I did, it's because mini elephants around the world are uniting against you and taking over the computers of all your followers...
Hey- When one chains an elephant up to a toilet, the possibilities are endless... ;)
Which reminds me, I should probably add mini-tranquilizer gun to my shopping list. You know, to protect my computer. Just in case...

Holly Ruggiero said...

Why would someone chain a helpless elephant to a toilet - public one no less. This is a travesty. I don't like it.

I lose followers too. Sometimes they come back. It is very sad. sniff

Sam said...

so four followers abandoned you? that's really harsh. really really harsh. I'm pretty sure though-that they will come back once they see the picture of the baby elephant.

lisleman said...

Can you hear it in the background?

"Unchain my elephant
baby let me be
unchain my elephant
because you don't care about me..."

Kelley said...

I'm not going anywhere, Cheeseboy!!!!!!! Were you wishing I was one of those 4 followers, hmmm?

Emmy said...

Sorry you lost followers :(. That is never fun

Georgina Dollface said...

That elephant chained to the back of a public toilet is pretty funny, even if I don't get it. I have a limited repertoire of potty humor to draw on so jokes about toilets tend to crack me up pretty easily.
Can't understand why anyone would unfollow you - you are much too funny. - G

Lori said...

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I just got home from Target and they already HAVE a game like that there! Maybe you could do the donut on the string game without any string...now THERE'S and idea!

Oh yeah...and those 4 people...how DARE they!

Stacy Q said...

4 people actually went to the trouble to unfollow you? I mean, it's effort. It's easier just to ignore you, without stabbing you in the back with an "unfollow." Rest assured if I ever find you continually dull, I won't unfollow you, I'll do the kind thing and just ignore you. Rest easy in that, Cheeseboy.

Adoption of Jane said...

Love the Elephant! I've been off and on blogging too. I thought for sure things would calm down once the kids were back in school, but now I am busier than ever! Keeping my fingers crossed on your game! Let me know when it hits stores and I will buy one for the kids!

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

Cabana BOY? Well there is your problem right there! ;)

Here I am defending your "life style choices" as a Glee watcher on my blog then you go and want a cabana BOY. Oy vay!

imbeingheldhostage said...

People unfollow you if you don't write frequently? And here I thought I was doing everyone a favour by being quiet :-(

jennifer said...

Gosh, I really did enjoy the photo of the elephant chained to the toilet in a public restroom. Who needs an aquarium? That was quite relaxing.

Yep, I've lost followers too and it always makes me wonder WHY did they leave? The writing on my blog is pretty consistently sucky so what gives?

Lindsay Blogs said...

The elephant....Why?

Just weird enough to get a laugh out of me. Love it!

SparkleFarkle said...
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