Here's what I have in mind boys...
We're going to need plastic people. LOTS OF PLASTIC PEOPLE! I mean, a brigade of plastic people. A plethora of plastic. But they can't be normal sized people. And not even midget sized people. I'm talkin' smaller than a midget, but bigger than a doll, or around that size. If you've gotten to midget size, you've gone too big! If you are at the size of a Barbie, you're way too small. It's as simple as that.
And boys, these plastic people, they need to move. There needs to be some that can move just their arms. We'll call these the "arm benders". And there needs to be some that kick their legs. We'll call them the "leg kickers". And some need to spin around in circles. We'll call these the "revolving revelers".
Now boys, this new ride, it's going to need a song. A song so vexing that it will not leave your brain for hours or even days. It needs to be something that the kids will shout all the way home from the back seats of their dad's Chevy.
The annoyance level of this song will be our little joke, fellas. Please, do not let those rags out there get a load of this. It's an inside joke and we don't want the press on our insides.
All these plastic people, they need jobs. For instance, the kickers could dance and the arm benders can bang drums. They are going to need costumes. Costumes from around the world! But they'll have to be doll sized costumes because adult sizes are just not going to fit them. We can bring some midgets in to do the sizing. Or wait, maybe some toddler midgets.
JILL, CAN YOU GET THAT TODDLER MIDGET MEASUREMENT AGENCY ON THE PHONE? YOU KNOW THE ONE WITH THE TINY HAND HOLDING THE MIDGET HAND IN THE LOGO. PRONTO!
Okay fellas, back to work. Now this ride, I want it to be as slow moving as possible. I want these parents to have to endure every last ounce of this horrific song. I want it to be boats... yes, boats that move so slowly you could walk faster than they are moving. These boats need to have tiny benches and hard seat backs. WE'RE GOING TO MAKE THIS THING UNBEARABLE FOR THOSE PARENTS!
Finally boys, these uncomfortable, slow boats need to float straight through these singing plastic people. It would be nice if you could make these boats occasionally bump into each other, but that is not really required. But I do want these boats to go through those plastic, singing midget toddlers. You boys need to make that happen.
Alright boys, you have your orders. Lets get to work. I want this thing done by the 1964 World Fair. I want to see the pain on those parent's faces as they get off the wretched thing. I want to see how long we can make this torture chamber of a ride last. Think of it as a social experiment of sorts. I mean, how long will put up with such a ride? 2 years? 5, max?
Alright, that is all. Now get to work. By the way, I have decided to start calling you all "Imagineers". It's cute. Get used to it. GET TO WORK!