Friday, April 3, 2009

The view of the Jazz game: Section 119, Row 22, Seat 21

As part of the Junior Jazz experience, Lincoln received free tickets to tonight's Jazz game.  If you hadn't heard, the Jazz lost to the lowly, pesky Timberwolves.  (For some reason, Hot Rod Hundley always finds Timberwolves to be "pesky".)  We sat - I am not joking - on the VERY LAST ROW.
Our seats were so high that we needed binoculars just to see the Jumbotron.
Our seats were so high, I had to constantly duck my head to see below the United States flag.
Our seats were so high, a few of the folks around me skipped the nose bleeds and went straight to the aneurysm. 
Our seats were so high, when I stood up to cheer, I bonked my head on the ceiling.
Our seats were so high, the Jazz dancers implants actually looked like normal sized breasts.
Our seats were so high, we had our own personal Sherpa to find them.  Ours was named "Lakhpa".  He was a nice guy, but when he yelled "Go Jazz", it sounded a lot like, "Cow Spaz".
Our seats were so high, the chairs were outfitted with an oxygen mask.
Our seats were so high, we could touch the floating blimp.
Our seats were so high, the cotton candy went soggy due to the high humidity.
Our seats were so high, you could pay a quarter to look through giant, metal binoculars for 30 seconds at a time.  
Our seats were so high, when they dropped the miniature parachutes with the free tee shirts tied to them from the rafters, the guy just reached down and handed us one.
Our seats were so high that when the Jazz bear shot the tee shirt gun in our direction, the tee shirt was intercepted by a bald eagle.
Finally, the game came to an unfortunate and embarrassing end and Lakhpa guided us down the steep embankment.  Our seats were really high.

1 comment:

Lori said...

Funny! I'm seriously impressed with this blog. It would probably take me a month to come up with all those "Our seats were so high..." bits. Oh, who am I kidding, I couldn't think of all those funny things even if I thought of it for a month!

Anyway, glad you had a good time!