Thursday, April 30, 2009

Computer Techs = Dorks, School Computer Techs = SUPER DORKS!

The school district computer techs finally showed up today to fix Safari on my Mac laptop. They were nice enough dorks. Not sure why there was two of them to fix this simple problem though.

READ THIS PORTION IF YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT WHAT THE PROBLEM WAS OR YOU ARE A COMPUTER NERD. OTHERWISE, SKIP THIS PORTION COMPLETELY. Every time I open Safari, it completely times out and locks up the entire computer. The Mac rainbow thing just spins and spins. I fixed this problem by downloading Firefox, which turns out, I like more anyway.

Okay, so the techs came. They came at 3:30 just as I was walking out the door.

"We're here to fix Mr. Cheeseboy's computer."
"Oh, I am right here, but I fixed it. I downloaded Firefox and it works fine."
"Well, lets take a look at it and see why Safari's not working. It should only take 5 minutes."

They open Safari. It locks up the computer.

3:35 "That's weird, never seen this before. Let's close all the programs and restart the computer." (I tried that, um, 25 times.)
"Mr. Cheeseboy, did you know that when you just X out of programs on Mac's, it doesn't really close the program?"
"Yes, I knew that."
"Well, we tell people because a lot of teachers don't know that."
"Mostly morons?! Am I right?!" (My lame attempt at techie humor was not well received by the techies.)

They spend the next 15 minutes trying to connect to the internet. 10 minutes of which they spent typing in the wrong password.

3:50 "Okay, finally got connected! Now lets see if we can't get Safari running. Should only take five minutes."
"Let's run a (something technical I don't know what it is, but has to do with the hard drive) check. It should only take 5 minutes. Can you hang around a little longer?"

4:07 "That's weird. Everything is clean. I've never seen this before. Got me stumped on this one."
"Like I said, I have been using Firefox and I like it better anyway. So..."
"Yes, but I would really like to know what is going on with this Safari thing. Let me check one more thing. It should only take 5 minutes."

4:20 "You know, you've got a LOT of printers connected to this computer. Do you use that many printers?"
"Well, I have 3 at home and then a bunch here at school I use. Why, is that what is locking up Safari?"
"No, no. It is just really unusual to see someone with that many printers. That's A LOT of printers"
"Oh. I never thought about it."

4:30 "Didn't you say that you like Firefox better?"
"Okay, cause I have no idea what is going on with Safari. This is a new one for me."
"Well, I'll just use Firefox. The computer works fine with Firefox."
"Okay, but we will be back (did I mention that there are TWO of them there to fix this little problem) to try and fix it. I am going to Google this tonight. Here's your computer back."
"Sorry it took so long."
"It's okay (not really). Hopefully your Google goes well."

I left, one hour after I was heading out the door. Which begs the question, what kind of IT degree do you need to have to Google computer problems? Oh and I guess I need to limit the number of printers I use in order to save face with the computer dorks. (No offense to my friends that are techs.)


Stacy said...

Maybe they're like missionaries, and they're not allowed to work alone.

Traci said...

I love that SNL skit! There is a guy who comes to help out with our computers at work. We refer to him as "Nick Burns". It's a funny skit because it's true!

Corey, Ashlee, Jack and Alaster said...

I have been wanting to look at your blog for a very long time. I have heard from a lot of people in the ward how funny you are. I'm glad I finally took a looksie. It has been quite entertaining :) Tell Cathi I said hello!

Cheeseboy said...

ASHLEE! Welcome to the Blog O' Cheese. I always love to welcome new visitors, especially those I know and like. Glad you like it. Feel free to comment anytime.

Stacy - Never thought about techs having to travel in pairs. Is that so they don't go swimming? You know, the devil lives in the water!

Traci - I believe Nick Burns works at every workplace in America. Amazing how he gets around like that, especially in this economy!

Lori said...

Nothing is worse than lame computer problems! I'm gald YOU found an easy fix.