Santa: I'm Santa. Who are you?
Tooth Fairy: I am the Tooth Fairy.
Santa: What the heck is a Tooth Fairy?
TF: I put money under kid's pillows for the teeth that they lose... Now what exactly are you doing?
S: [mouth full] These cookies are delicious. They just leave them for me.
TF: Who leaves them for you? The kids?
S: Yeah, see the note that says, "To Santa".
TF: Sonofa! They don't leave me crap! All I get are these disgusting teeth that fall out of their disgusting mouths.
S: They leave you their teeth? Why do they do that?
TF: It's all about the money with the kids nowadays. It used to be that a quarter will do, but now they want at least a dollar!
S: If you hate it so bad, why don't you just quit?
TF: Only one more year until I am fully invested. Plus, they have the best dental insurance I have ever seen.
S: Oh, I just have the elves do my dental work for me.
TF: Really? I have been looking for new dentist.
S: Hey, try my guy, Dr. Leppezew. Give me a call, I'll get you his number. Here's my card:
TF: Hey, it says here that your name is really Tom Kliner. Your no Santa!
S: Hey, I've been outsourced. Santa can't do it all in one night.
TF: I know what you mean! But what scares me is that they might give my job to a guy from India named Rasheed.
S: Oh man, you need to talk to your union. Hey want one of these cookies?
TF: No sir. They are larger than my entire body.
S: So how much did you leave the little stinker?
TF: One dollar - he is a pretty good kid - but I hear Rasheed is giving 5 bucks!
S: Oh brother. You'll never keep up. Well I left him some nice underoos and a basketball hoop.
TF: That's great. Hey, how many more do you have tonight?
S: 500,000 - My route is all of the Salt Lake Valley and Fresno. And you?
TF: Last one.
S: Dang! You get off easy.
TF: Christmas Eve is always a slow night.
S: I wish I could say the same.