According to a new book I just checked out at the library: The Alphabet of Manliness, lumberjacks evolved from pirates. (See graphic on right.)
Sometimes, when I am lonely, I wish I were a lumberjack. They almost always have big muscles and no one ever messes with them.
I thought I wanted to be a lumberjack. Then I thought, if I grew a beard and turned myself into lumberjack material, I would probably end up looking like this guy:
Not as cool as I thought.