Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Texting Abbreviations for Old People

A very happy texting old man.
I love to watch old people text.  I mean, who doesn't? 20 minutes of yelling and frustration for a single text.

But look, just don't ask me to text anything. I'd be worse than an old person.  I text like a old person with no thumbs. And if there is one thing I have learned about the elderly, it's that they need their thumbs.  They'd be helpless without thumbs.

Anyway, if you ever receive a text from an elderly person, you may be confused as they sometimes use different acronyms and abbreviations than younger folk.  The Blog O' Cheese is here to help you decode texting abbreviations old people use.  You're welcome. 

Texting Abbreviations Old People Use

BRB,S - Be right back, slowly.

BCNU (SC) - Be seeing you. (Stand Closer) 

CHS-GR8R - Cheese grater 

LOLY-LC - Laughing out loud, while coughing

MW - My walker

OMPD - Oh my Phil Donahue!

OMB - Oh my back!

MAB - My aching back

MBH - My back hurts

HRDKND - Hard candy

WM - Watching Matlock

D-OIL-EEEEEE - Doilies 

MLSRM - My last slightly racist remark

RMBA - Remote's broke again

HERN 8D - Hearing Aid 

LYLAG - Love you like a grandma/grandpa

GABP - Getting a blue perm

B4IMGON - Before I'm gone

NSDTPS - No senior discount, this place stinks

BRBBMC - Be right back, buying more cats 

IFAICGU - I've fallen and I can't get up

4OCLE - Four o'clock, lets eat!

GR8 LWIO - Great, Lawrence Welk is on.

OxxxxxOxxxxxx - Hugs and sloppy kisses

ERH - Ear hair. 

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I'd also like to mention a good blog friend of mine, Chris Phillips has me visiting on his blog today.  He had me list three songs I listen to while I write.  It was tough thinking of only three, but somehow I was able to pull through.  Chris is a funny dude and I enjoy his blog.

So, if you feel inclined or if you want to learn even more about me, click here to hear three great tunes.

56 comments:

Beth Zimmerman said...

You are a nut! Here's a fun (though seriously inappropriate) text humor site for you ... http://damnyouautocorrect.com/ Have fun!

Kate said...

I've fallen and I can't get up...my kids will never get why that's so funny to me. That, and where's the beef. They missed out on some quality commercials, for sure.

Diane J. said...

Hee, hee, hee...While coughing, oh too good!

Lost.in.Idaho said...

Oh no, not Lawrence Welk! I'm having bad flashbacks of my great gramma babysitting me...

Great texting list. I watched my grandpa try texting once, and I wish I made a video of it. It was too priceless!

TisforTonya said...

good list - I was a little concerned about HERN 8D but maybe I just have worked with too maybe old people lately and listened to their ailments - something is always herniated :)

Jen said...

Hahaha, this coming from you who doesn't have a cell phone! Too funny, and gross about the ear hair.
Only 8 more followers and then we expect some break dancing wonder!

Pedaling said...

I'm gonna share these with my ma who turned 78 today.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Blue perm - scary. Although sloppy kisses are even more scary.

Kristin @ What She Said said...

I laughed out loud at OMPD and MLSRM. My two favorites, hands down.

Dave said...

Here's a few additions: ROTFPLA - Rolling on the floor pressing Life Alert. SSTMB - Smells sweeter than moth balls. AOOWO - All out of Werther's Originals.

Middle-aged Mormon Man said...

Excellent post!

BBEOTBT
(be back eventually - off to bathroom)

Kristen said...

NinMa - it's time for one when you see this texted by Gramps. (I sometimes practice texting when no one is looking so I will not look stupid when my younger friends text me)

Chris Phillips said...

Don't forget Prost8 and :oscopy

Kelly said...

The ones that made me LOL were LOLWC and GABP. You are so dang funny it doesn't seem quite fair....

Joann Mannix said...

Okay, someone already beat me to it. You MUST go to damnyouautocorrect.com. It takes a lot to make me laugh out loud. I am cackling and wheezing every time I go to that site. VERY adult humor, just a warning.

My favorite is MLSRM because aren't oldsters the best at that? I try not to take offense at the things that come out of my MIL and mother's mouth sometimes. I know it's a totally different generation, but oh my, what a different generation that was.

The Stiffs said...

Think this might come in handy for Grandma's texts. And she has one on your. My brother always tells her she sounds like a monkey answering the phone with her feet when we call.

Antares Cryptos said...

Inappropriate but funny.

By the time we get there there won't be text messaging. So it won't be, no not saying it...

Melanie Jacobson said...

I've had a hard time deciding to follow your blog because you're a Ute fan. Then I realized that as a BYU grad, the only college football I watch is LSU, anyway. So I guess I'll be coming around more.

Melanie Jacobson said...

P.S. Do you realize you're in danger of 700 followers? I'm going to make it my mission to make this happen.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Funny, Cheeseboy! My fave is BRBBMC (buying more cats).
xoRobyn

Oilfield Trash said...

This was a pretty good one. I got this in an email a while back and loved it.

Kari Nitzel said...

Love IFAICGU & NSDTPS. Like always thanks for the laugh. I also love MMM's acronym.

Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

Hilarious! Once again, hilarious!

Cheryl said...

HHHHaaaa hhhaaa, I think you missed a couple that seem to be popular with my elders...

YBSWIG - you'll be sorry when I'm gone

TDK - Those damn kids


WYDH - What's your damn hurry

Maybe my family is crankier than most.

Lene said...

You forgot - LOLWPMPAL
Laugh out loud while peeing my pants a little. Not that I know anything about that.

mintifresh said...

How about: XD=explosive diarrhea..

Marnie said...

Oh these are good!

Marnie said...

I just noticed, you are almost at 700! I can't wait to see that dance at Subway.

Unknown Mami said...

D-PENZ - depends on context or bladder control.

The Bipolar Diva said...

you were one of "those" kids in school weren't you? I have one of those kids and it's a non stop laugh factory around here! The blue perm got me. lol

Amy said...

Oh so funny! Where on earth do you find time to come up with this stuff? Oh, wait, it is summer. :)

TesoriTrovati said...

IFAICGU I am laughing so hard!
I don't text so this unless it is in complete sentences, with proper grammatical structure. Oh, and punctuation. (That is the English teacher in me coming to the surface.;-)
Know what I found most hilarious?
The bunion removal ad on your blog!
Those auto ads really have your target audience pegged with the senior citizens texting suggestions! They may have bunions, too!
ROFLMAOANICGU (rolling on the floor laughing my ass off and now I can't get up!)
;-)

Enjoy the day!
Erin

Lourie said...

My mom finally got a phone with a keyboard. Now she doesn't mind texting so much.

Kimberly said...

Great post! Definitely had me laughing!

Kelloggsville said...

MLSRM is sooo true, what age does that suddenly come into play?! I liked this post - very clever.

Jenn said...

Is it bad that I already use at least one of those? Like MAB - My aching back??? :)
Great guest post too! Never even heard of Vampire Weekend..now I'll be singing that song all day! lol

Alison@Mama Wants This said...

GABP was my favorite!

Pearl said...

:-) That was fantastic.

Ya goof.

Pearl

Saimi said...

This post cracks me up! My mom is the queen of texting like old people.
I don't dare tease her because I'm just amazed she even CAN!!

Very funny and spot on!

Katie said...

I know if my grandpa texted, I would get this:

YHSFHIAHB - you're headed straight for hell in a hand basket.

And even though this is one of his favorite sayings, he is actually a nice, wonderful man.

Great post! I laughed out loud reading at work and got the side-eye of shame from a coworker. Awesome.

tammy said...

Who are you calling old?

Bossy Betty said...

Oh my gosh, this was funny. You'd enjoy watching me text. The whole world stands still.

mamamash.com said...

Doileeeeeeee! Bahaha! Forwarding this to gramma.

Melinda said...

All so fitting! I know 2 grandmothers in my life that could use the one about the racist comment anytime they have a conversation with someone.

amygrew said...

You are right on with these. I think my dad used one last week. I had no clue what the heck he was talking about. I can now come here for reference.

Bookmarked.

Emmy said...

Lol! I hope your grandparents don't read your blog :)
My parents have trouble using their cell phones- I can't even imagine them trying to text.

Connie said...

Cheese Man, I'd leave a long comment but I'm WM!

Lisa Loo said...

You probably need to worry if you receive GABP and ERH in the same text. Grandma with blue ear hair---what's the acronym for that?

M-Cat said...

I totally expected to see the same thing that has been circulating on FB - but had a hope you would be original - and dude you CAME THROUGH! Laughing. HARD LAUGHING!

WM -Watching Matlock

pure genius

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

That was awesome! I am SO forwarding this to my mom!

Kelley said...

You should feel like a big shot for this post. It was hilarious!! Love WM. I laughed out loud all throughout this post, you crazy first-grade teacher you.

Crystal Pistol said...

Hilarious! Good one. Real good.

My walker? *shakes head and mutters* Where does he come UP with this stuff??

Bees With Honey said...

I don't think I even know any old people who text. Nope, I don't. I liked your old people text lingo though. Very creative.

Jason, as himself said...

BRBBMC is definitely my favorite!

SoMo Mom said...

HILARIOUS! Love the LYLAG one! How about this one... SOTD ... No clue? Give up? Sittin' on the davenport. (aka. "couch" in old folk language. My grandma always said that.) Would you be interested in guest posting w/this post on my blog? (Kelley from KB is one of our contributors). We have an occasional daddy blogger & I think it would be great to introduce you to the SoMo folks! I have a post you may like up now "Which Dad Are You?" Check it out http://www.southernmomentum.com
Lmk! Stephanie

The Church Lady said...

These r gr8 Abe! You have quite the knack for texting. Just wait till your boys are old enough to have cell phones, you will be texting right along with them!