Monday, December 13, 2010

If people find me boring at parties, just wait until they hear this story!

Occasionally, I will be at a party or social gathering and I will have a desperate need to share something so I feel like I am being a productive member of the party.  When I am very desperate, I will usually share the following very dull story: 

Yeah, there was this one time, I was standing in line at Disneyland for that Peter Pan ride with my son.  You know, the one that always has that really long line?  Well, there I was standing in line, minding my own business - because that's what I do when I am in line. Anyway, I was with my boys and we get all the way up to the front of the line and the Disney Worker  - AKA: "Cast Member" - says to me, "Hey, do you know who that lady was that was standing right in front of you?"


I say, "No."


And the Disney worker was like, "THAT WAS TERI HATCHER!"


And I was like, "NO FREAKING WAY!"  


And he was all, "Yep.  I promise."  


And then I got on the ride and the entire time I was like, "HOLY COW!"


And then I thought, "I can't believe she had to wait in line just like everyone else!"

So the above story is 100% true, but it is the end of the story and when I tell it, I will usually wait for the reaction of the person I am telling it to.   Most of the time they are ambiguous and  I say that because I THINK ambiguous means "pretending to be interested." I then generally feel the need to make this story a little better so I don't sound like a total turdwad.

So remember when I said that I didn't even know that Teri Hatcher was right in front of me?  Well, I didn't know it was Teri Hatcher because she was wearing one of those English looking cap things.  You know those caps that have like the really small brim and are made of flannel?


Well, when we were in line, this woman that turned out to be Teri Hatcher kept asking about my camera.  At the time I had a Flip video camera and they had just barely hit the market.


I told her that it was a Flip camera and they were only like $100 bucks!  


And she was all, "Wow, that's a really good deal!"


And I was like, "Yeah, I know.  My dad gave me mine."


And before I know it, she is getting on the ride and that Cast Member dude tells me, "DID YOU KNOW THAT WAS TERI HATCHER?"  


And I was all, "GET OUT OF HERE! NO WAY!"


Now at this point, the person I am telling this story to is usually really starting to squirm.  Sometimes they say they need to go to the bathroom or get another drink of punch so that eventually they can go to the bathroom.  So, now I really feel the pressure to really fix this story into something they will tell their friends about!

Well, remember how I said she was asking about my camera?  So I get home and a couple weeks later I was surfing the internet; and by that I mean - looking at pictures of Teri Hatcher.  


Get this - I see this picture on People.com of Teri Hatcher at the beach.  And her kids are running down the beach and what does she have in her hand?  


That's right... A Flip camera!  


I was all, "NO WAY!  GET OUT OF HERE!"


I was blown away.  I mean, she totally got one after I told her how I liked mine.    


I was like, "I WONDER IF THEY ARE SELLING MORE FLIP CAMERAS BECAUSE OF HER?"


And then I was all, "I WONDER IF THEY ARE SELLING MORE FLIP CAMERAS BECAUSE OF ME?!"  


And then my wife came in and was all, "Who are you talking to?"


And I quickly closed my laptop and I was like, "Nobody.  I was just thinking about buying another Flip camera."  


And she was like all, "Why do we need two?"


And I was all, "I bet Teri Hatcher has like six!"


And she was like, "Who the heck is Teri Hatcher?"


And then the person that I am telling this story to is like, "Wow, that is really something!"  And I just nod and say, "Yes, I know."

37 comments:

Just SO said...

That story would have me on the edge of my seat. She was probably actually hitting on you rather than asking about your flip camera.

Kristina P. said...

Was it one of those People Celebrities Without Makeup moments, where she actually looks like Larry King, in person?

Saimi said...

In the back of her mind she's wondering why hasn't this dude recognized me yet...Like how long do I have to keep talking to him anyway.

Doesn't he know I already have six flip cameras!

lisleman said...

wow and you didn't even bring up desperate housewives with her?

Emmy said...

Did I ever tell you about the time that I ate dinner next to Richard Paul Evans (author of the Christmas Box) and talked and visited with him but didn't realize who it was until I was leaving?

No-- yeah I get about the same reaction with my story.

Leeuna said...

Well, that was way more interesting than if you had merely said: "I once waited in line behind Teri Hatcher at Disneyland."

They would probably have been like, "Oh-em-gee, I need to call home and check on the kids."

Or used some other lame exit strategy.

imbeingheldhostage said...

So cool, That is JUST like my story!!

I was born in the same town that David Duchovny did a film at, only I wasn't there any more when he did the film, but my sister-in-law was and her house was right by the film site and she was peeking out her windows to see him and like it bothered him, so he had them block her view, so I never watched the film which I guess is good since he is kind of like a loser after X-files and all...

you still here?

Jess said...

I agree.. she was totlly hitting on you... in fact .. I bet she was picturing your rippling muscles and hair blowing in the breeze as you rode towards her on your tractor.. yep... I bet that was it.... =)

Merry Christmas!

Jenn said...

I'm so sorry that I have never ended up at a party with you. I would have been totally enthralled by that story. Later, I would have walked over to my friends and told them about this freak that's obsessed with Teri Hatcher, but whatever....

-stephanie- said...

I think I'm impressed!

Joann Mannix said...

One time, a few years ago, I was in a suite at a baseball game, (I'm not a lover of sports. I was there for the food and drinks) and a cute older man came in and walked over to me where I stood hovering over the cheese sticks.

Since I was the only one not watching the game, we hung out and laughed and were having a good time, just the two of us, until somebody noticed this guy. The next thing I know we were swarmed with people shaking his hand, asking for pictures. I was upset because I'd lost the only person willing to have a conversation with me instead of watching the stupid ball game. I had no idea I was talking to George Steinbrenner, God Rest His Soul. I think he was quite tickled that I had no idea who he was. I didn't have any useful information for him about cameras or anything, though. So, it wasn't that great of a story.

Eva Gallant said...

I was about 5 feet away from the comedian Bob Marley at the mall yesterday, so there!

Bossy Betty said...

I think you should repeat this story at least five times at every party. People like that.

Hart Johnson said...

*snicker* You're a nut. Pretty soon you are going to get an email from her and she's going to say "DUDE! I was in front of you at Disneyland? I love your blog!" *nods*

Pearl said...

I could never hear this story often enough.

Pearl

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Anything for a reaction!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Did I mention that I grew up in the same neighborhood as Teri Hatcher? Yeah, we were in the same kindergarten class! Just kidding!
PS You might try that approach next time. xo

Oilfield Trash said...

That is a great story.

Melinda said...

I have absolutely no celebrity stories. Except that my dad looks like Jeff Goldbloom. Thats it.

Unknown Mami said...

Well, if you told me that story I would be all, "Oh, I don't care about Teri Hatcher, but I have two Flip cameras and I love them. And Danny Aiello once gave me a hug, but you don't see me using it as party conversation, except maybe now I will."

Aunt Juicebox said...

You're an awesome story teller!!! Next time pick someone better than Terri Hatcher though. Maybe someone hotter.

goodfather said...

I may have busted my gut a little bit, after spewing coffee on my monitor. You are one funny, funny man.

Alternate opening:

This one time? At band camp? Just kidding, I never went to band camp. I don't even play an instrument...

Noelle said...

I saw 'Lincoln' from Prison Break at the airport once. That's all I've got.

Holly Ruggiero said...

Wow, you've got the best stories. You must get invited to all the parties.

Jillybean said...

That wasn't really Teri Hatcher, that Disney Cast member was just messing with you.
I think they do stuff like that when they get bored.

Pedaling said...

TERI HATCHER? YOU WERE STANDING BEHIND TERI HATCHER...THE FLIP CAMERA....GET OUT OF TOWN!!

"Miss Bee" said...

I agree with with Betty - telling this story over and over would make it even more awesome!

I'm actually a really good listener, so I wouldn't have squirmed. I would have encouraged you with prompting questions like, "Oh my gosh! You had no idea? Did she ever talk to you? Was she tiny?" etc. to make you feel good about yourself and your story. Plus, standing talking to you would mean that I don't have to go and start all over small-talking with somebody else....

Teachinfourth said...

Who is Teri Hatcher? Did she never watch Mr. Mom?

Wow…I didn't think anyone on planet earth wouldn't know about her...

Nancy C said...

You've just described every conversation I have ever had at any party. I end all of my stories with, "Interesting story, huh?" I say it in such a way that they don't know if I'm sarcastic or not.

Yet, they still invite me. They need somebody to talk about after we leave, i guess.

MiMi said...

Wow. I usually compulsively cuss because I get all nervous.
I like your schtick better. :)

The Church Lady said...

I would be enthralled by the fact that I was talking to a person who had been talking to a famous person.

mintifresh said...

That's a total winner party story. I can see why you use it.

Pat Tillett said...

You are so darn hilarious! Sometimes it's in an odd way, but still hilarious. You really have a knack for story telling.

By the way, did Teri ask about me?

tammy said...

I have no comment. I'm just laughing.

Lisa Loo said...

So close...and yet so far....

M-Cat said...

That was the best told celebrity story that I ever heard!

Teri Hatcher.....who'd have thunk it?

Was she by herself? Getting on with her kid? Was she really fat in real life?

Alittlesprite said...

I bet she thought it was nice not to be recognised. (nah! LOL)
I nearly bought one of those flip cameras. Instead I bought a new digital camera.