Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Cheeseboy's Top 10 Posts of the Year. (Please vote for your favorite.)

Demetri Martin is funny.
It is that time of year again.

No, not the yearly time that I actually scrub the floor behind my toilet.  Not my annual "Whole Foods Parking Lot Taunting Party" in which I eat a juicy Five Guys burger in front of the yuppies as they return to their cars with their organic bird seed bread.

No, it is time for the 3rd annual Cheeseboy countdown of the top 10 posts of the year.  Each year I attempt and collect the most popular and most funny posts of the year.  This year was the most difficult challenge yet.  I made a goal to increase quality and decrease the quantity of my posts this year and as a result, I ended up with over 40 posts that I wanted to include in the countdown.

Alas, with the help of my beloved wife, who helped cut out the truly strange posts, I whittled the list down to ten.  Here they are, from 10 to 1, in my preferred order.  Please feel free to click on the links and revisit their supposed awesomeness.  There will be a brief survey at the end. (No one from India will be calling you.)

10. Mission Space - The Day I Almost Died.
From January 30
A detailed account of my horrible experience on this popular Disneyworld ride and how I completely lost my cookies when it was over.

9. An Open Letter from the Glee Club Band Members to Will Schuester.
From November 16
The instrument playing members of glee club have had ENOUGH and use this powerful letter to let Mr. Shue hear their voice.

8. The Tests Came Back and I am Officially a Victim of Alley Cat Brutality.
From March 16
The true story of how I was attacked by a vicious alley cat in our local park with pictures to prove it.

7. Stupid Bloggists and the Hate they Spew.
From August 1
A popular post with the readers.  I touch upon the inhumane prejudice we bloggers feel from the non-blogging community. 


6. The Mystery of the Great Pooping Bandit of '07: A Devil's Tale.
From July 26
The true story of a boy that pooped on the first grade bathroom floor every day and the surprising ending.


5. Samson's Assistant Fetches the Jawbone of an Ass.
From September 5
A strange and frantically funny post that I still have no idea how I came up with.  I think the randomness of the post is why I like it so.


4. Men - Before you Propose on a Hot Air Balloon Ride, Think it Through Man.  Think... it... Through!
From April 4
Inspired by a good friend's proposal to his wife during a hot air balloon ride, I delve into the question: what if she would have said no?

3. I was "Manscaped" Yesterday and I Feel so Violated.
From May 8
The true story of how I had my nose hair waxed and yanked from my nostrils in a fit of rage.


2. An Open Letter from Jacob, the Sexy Werewolf Boy.
From July 1
A wildly popular post detailing Jacob's creepy plea to the creepy "old" ladies that seem to oogle him wherever he goes.

1. Silly First Graders and their Overwhelming Fears of IDENTITY THEFT!
From March 19
A true story in which I ask the first graders in my class to complete a simple project and they then lecture me on the dangers of identity theft.

Is there one you loved that I happened to miss?
Which one was YOUR favorite?
Is there anyone still out there?

Leave me a comment and let me know.
And be sure to VOTE for your favorite on the right hand side of the blog!

59 comments:

SueLovesCherries said...

Hey, I'm first!

"Which one was YOUR favorite? " - you mean besides all of them? I vote you BLOGGER OF THE YEAR!

One Cluttered Brain said...

Hey I voted. The one where you wrote about bloggists...Pretty funny.
What do I get now that I voted?
A vlog from YOU?

baygirl32 said...

I have to go re-read a few of those! good choices

Kelly H-Y said...

You had a very good year! Looking forward to your posts in 2011

Melissa *Suger Coat It* said...

I just loved the poop badit tale. A few I haven't read {shocked gasp}. Excellent. Something to do today!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

This was fun. I just voted on one of the few in which you aren't suffering. As funny and well written as the posts are, I wince when you suffer, Cheeseboy.

There was one post I found hysterical that wasn't here. It included your inquiries to companies and their responses. For some reason, that one had me in stitches most of all.

xoRobyn

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

#6 needs to be higher!

dbs said...

I hadn't read a few of these and I'm glad I had the chance. You rock.

Missy said...

OMG! The ManScaping was the best!!!!

Posh Totty said...

OMG how can I vote just one? they are all fab.

Tom said...

I relate the most to your #7 stupid bloggist post, but I still can't get the #6 Great pooping bandit post out of my head.

Missy said...

Wait! The First Grade Identity Theft!!!! LOVE!

Shell said...

I was cracking up at the Jacob post. Really, it creeps me out that there is so much obsession with him...and Edward, too.

Maybe even especially Edward. B/c if women are going to have a weirdly inappropriate boy crush, it should at least be someone hot. Team Jacob.

Though I love the bloggist one, too. What if you get your wife a kindle? Then she is just reading off a screen, too.

The Church Lady said...

There were only a few of these posts that I missed, so I went ahead and read them all again! I read the Pooping Bandit out loud to my daughter, Nature Girl and she got a kick out of it! It is by far my favorite post and the one I voted for. I do remember a recent post you did of a conversation with your wife IF she agreed to be interviewed by you. That one was soooo funny!

Looking forward to many more Cheeseboy posts in 2011!!

BTW, would love to have you and your family come stay with us if you do decide to re-visit Amish country this coming summer.

MiMi said...

I voted for the Werewolf one. LOL
I remember most of these, that's pretty awesome! :)

Kristen said...

I really like the Oprah White Elephant post, but there is no way to choose. We had a white elephant gift exchange, and mine was a white Elephant,,, but from the Toy Box, not India.

Julie said...

Oh number 10, that's got to be the best though I love the cat one too. It's hard to choose. They are all great but really the ride is the best. It's one ride I wouldn't even think about after reading your post. No way!!
Take care Cheeseboy, enjoy your Christmas vacation. God Bless!!!

Melinda said...

I swear I should have read all of them already, but I think I need a refresher on a couple...will be back to vote after re-reading!!

Connie said...

Oh wow! What does this tell me about myself, when I remember most of these posts?
I think anything that tells the tale of an attacking alley cat has got to be the winner!

Teachinfourth said...

I think that #3, "Manscaped" is one that will forever live on in my mind as a personal favorite…it's hard though because there are several.

Now I just might have to steal this idea from you...

Kate said...

Dear Abe, I regret to say that I have never read your blog before being directed here by Kristen. Your letter from Jacob is exactly why I refuse to watch the Twilight movies (despite being embarassingly entranced by the books). Wolves and cougars don't mix, indeed.

-stephanie- said...

I liked watching you get your arm hair waxed by your wife and the complete joy she had doing it, but I guess that's not a post.

I liked the pooping boy post.

T said...

Now I've got a lot of good reading for the evening... and then I'll come back to vote...

just know that I won't be voting for the bathroom pooper... not that it wasn't funny, but I'm certain I can't read it again and relive the slight nausea :)

Impulsive Addict said...

Wow. Well, I just spend an ENORMOUS amount of time reading most of your top 10--being that I'm a newer follower and such.

I have to say that number 7 was my second fav (only because I spend obscene amounts of time at the computer reading blogs too) but my vote will have to go to number 6. Being a teacher and having a "pooping" story of my own, it was my fav. Those poor 1st graders!

It's been fun reading your top 10! Which one is YOUR fav?

From Tracie said...

I vote for the identity theft one, because that was just too great!

(but I also clearly remember and love #5. Voting is hard)

❥ ќʀɨsтɨиɑ said...

Hello! I was here, asking for friendship. ;) Would you like to follow each others blogs? Advance Happy New Year. :D

mintifresh said...

Seriously, how do I vote for just one?!

Sandra said...

I left a comment on and voted for the letter from the band to Mr. Shuster. Beware, it's full of hearts and flowers. I love Quinn even though I'm old enough to have nursed him.

Jillybean said...

I just read your pooing bandit story to my kids and my fifth grader told me about the time someone in his first grade class* stealthly pooped on the carpet in the classroom and the teacher made everyone watch as she cleaned it up.
You could consider yourself lucky that it happened in the urinal and not on the floor of your classroom.

*Yes, this was an ALP's class.

We vote for this story, mostly because you found so many different and unique ways to refer to the poop.

Kate said...

I teach first grade, too! And I will trade you my running gloves for your scenery, though I'm not sure how you'd handle the shipping.

Joann Mannix said...

I liked Glee and WDW ride the best, actually. Although, I do love the cat pouncing story, too. Your best one of all times, though, is the pooping in the pants story. And of course, only you Cheese, would have the bravery to tell that tale.

And Dude, if you ever make it down to WDW again, you must let me know. We would meet you there and show you the best way to circumvent all the sweaty, foreign tourists who have no concept of personal body space.

Kelley said...

What a great idea!! I might copy you. I really, really loved Sampson and the jawbone of the ass. I loved them all, but that one was my favorite!

Saimi said...

I voted but they're all so great! That's what makes you so fun to read!!!

Chris Phillips said...

I had to pick id theft, because I taught 1st grade last year and it brings back memories.

Teisha said...

The poop always wins in my book!

Rachel said...

I absolutely think that #6 is woefully undervalued on that list... and apparently I'm not the only one.

Duude... never underestimate the funny of poop.

Pedaling said...

you had me at, bloggist and the hate they spew...one of the first posts of yours i ever did read.

Tree said...

Oh, I've missed your writing!! I'll have to catch up on these for sure!! You can always make me laugh! LOL Happy New Year!

TortugaRachel said...

I stand by my vote for when you let Mr. Schue have it!

Mary said...

So hard to choose just one, but as a true Gleek I'm going with the Open Letter to Mr. Schuester followed by either the Stupid Bloggist post (I totally relate) or letter from Jacob the Sexy Werewolf Boy.

Thanks for the laughs!

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

And here I thought I'd read a lot of your past posts .... In all that spare time I have (not!) I'm going to have to go back and read these ... then I'll have to cast my vote. I've gotta make your button first though!

GrammyMouseTails said...

I vote for the Identity theft post. but I also loved (& shared as the many I do) the one with your class singing to the tune of Queen when graduating :)
Happy New Year! May 2011 Rock!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I came back to check on the polls. I'm with Kelley. The ass's jawbone one kicks butt (no pun intended). xo

Pearl said...

You are always funny, but my personal favorite was the poopin' bandit.

I just love the word "poopin". That, and it was very funny.

Pearl

Noelle said...

Out of these my favorite was the identity theft one. You know that we love whatever you write Cheese.

UnicycleRose said...

Not to go against the grain, but my fav post was about the older kid pooping the first grade toliet. Sorry, that is my vote! You can't help it that you have so many great stories and you are a fascinating writer!!

Marnie said...

Well all of them have been very entertaining! If I have to choose, I'd say #3. It was a very good year.

Sco said...

I'm with a few others here - the video of your wife waxing your arm wife was unforgettable. Manscaping got my vote, although it just barely edged out the Pooping Bandit.

Dave said...

I went with your blog post about blogging. Because anytime we bloggers can incorporate the word blog into our blogs, the better. Blog!

I also thought the one about your 6th grade teacher Mr. Rogers was particularly memorable, funny and poignant.

Jenn said...

Can I pick more than one? I mean, you have had some HILARIOUS posts this year.... hhhmmm....gonna be hard to choose........

Xmas Dolly said...

Okay I need to read some of these again to see which one I like. I know they're all so interesting, and some quite funny. Guess I'll vote later.

Kristina P. said...

I have to go with the manscaping one.

Pat Tillett said...

They were all good, but I'm going to have to go with number 3 (manscaping). I still remember one of the lines that cracked me up. That was when the lady asked you if you had a cat up your nose!

Lisa Loo said...

I'd have to say #8 but for personal reasons. it was of the first blogs of yours that I read and the first time I had ever heard the word jewfro come from the state of Utah. I giggled for days.

Personal aside--I loved #7--its really hard to pick

CarrieAnn said...

#2-the one about Jacob from Twilight was too funny. I even had my husband read it.

lindsey v said...

This is hard! I can't decide between 3 of them. Death, blogging and poop are all equally funny subjects. Why can't we vote more than once? I mean, come on, even walmart let's people do that.

mice_aliling said...

Tough tough! But I would have to choose...the Identity Theft. I couldn't stop laughing!

Marla said...

Ass-winged pixie?? ROFL!!

I voted and I am not telling you which stinking one I picked.

Bits-n-Pieces said...

silly first graders is my fave.... mostly b/c I can so relate!