All week long I spend at work.
Saturday comes and I'm a total jerk.
"Watch the kids for a few hours." I say.
"I'm going to watch my Utah Utes play!"
A "few hours" turns into six or eight.
Count travel time, tailgating and the bathroom line to wait.
My wife sits home while the kids run a muck.
I sit in Section E32 yelling, "The Cougars Suck!"
When I get home, the wife's understandably annoyed.
The younger kid puked and the older one started steroids.
I tell her excitedly, "THE UTES WON! IT WAS PURE BLISS."
She replies with a smirk, "That's great. These lips... DO NOT EXPECT TO KISS!"
I've already tuned her out - the post game is on.
The ire I feel from her turns into a yawn.
My wife, the football widow and driver of the minivan
Says, "Sit your butt on that couch, we're watching The Back-Up Plan!"
So on the couch I sit, a Jennifer Lopez behind on our screen.
But I could care less, I'm thinking 3rd and eighteen.
My mind wonders and dwells on the games greatest plays.
I rub my wife's feet, hoping she forgets the error of my ways.
By Monday night, I'm out of the doghouse.
I've tried to be kind the world's greatest spouse.
When Saturday rolls around again.
I start to think about another Utah win!
And then I return to my evil ways.
My wife's a saint. I'm surprised she stays.
GO UTES! 7-0! #8 in the land!
40 comments:
Awesome post. I feel exactly the same way as I am a football junkie.
Go Ravens! hee hee. Nice poem. After football season, I think you should have a nice date night with your understanding and forgiving wife!
I'd say my wife is a sunday widow. My school was division 3. Go Bills 'n Giants!
It's good then that you don't live in a town
that has the Indians, Cavs and a team in Orange and Brown.
Hahaha!! Awesome post!!
This? is why I am so thankful my husband doesn't watch sports!!!
My favorite lines . . .
My wife sits home while the kids run a muck.
I sit in Section E32 yelling, "The Cougars Suck!"
AND you run marathons? She's a training widow too! I feel that pain all too well...although I'm glad he runs.
Nice poem. You must have a great wife. I used to tell my wife I was going to watch a foot ball game for a couple hours and she'd always call me on it "You mean 4+ hours?"
I'm afraid your woes don't compare to mine because I'm a cougar fan. Or at least was. Enjoy a great Ute year!
Yeah, I'm a football widow too. I feel a lot of resentment toward you right now...:)
Go Saints!! You're lucky to have her. She's lucky too, during other times of the year.
xoRobyn
So am I! lol
I'll bet she's happy when football season is over.
What do you think of Utah moving to the Pac 12?
I am surprised she stays too! Just kidding. Go UTES!
It's funny because it's true!
Go UTES! I'm a huge Ute football fan too :)
I love that picture of Robert Johnson.
If my hubs was more of a football fan than a basketball fan-atic, he's be right there with you at the U! Go Utes!
Not only is your wife beautiful, she's patient too! You're one lucky guy!
Not bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Gooooooooooo Cougars!" Oops! I mean, "Come on Cougars! You totally suck for like the 20th year in a row! Get your junk together and kick the Utes' butt at least once while I'm alive!!!"
;o)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
WAR EAGLE!! #1 in the land!!
I keep reminding the hubs how lucky he is that I love football as much as he. Maybe the kids in the way is the reason he's not as impressed as he used to be! lol
Yep. She really is a saint...I'm so glad Boyfriend is not a sports person..
I understand your passion! Fortuanately the wife does not get mad. For that matter, she usually hides...
LOL Great poem, Abe. Your wife is a saint, but for more reasons then your love for football :) Oh, and by the way.. it's the Huskers all the way baby...GO BIG RED!!!!
I would need a LOT of feet rubbing. But I am kind of a high maintenance chick like that. My hubs is not so much into the football, so that is a fabulous thing.
Auburn Tigers currently # 1 !!!!
Yeah, I'm drinking ALOT of beer these days !!
Maybe I could somehow turn my obsession with politics to sports instead.
Well done on the prose!
And have I already mentioned that your wife is a saint and that you totally married up? Yeah....
I don't think we can be friends anymore... most of ManOfTheHouse's family depends on BYU for their bread and butter.
Luckily this means ManOfTheHouse only has to watch sports when BYU is playing... and he's a fair weather fan so this year has been quite nice for me :)
My hubby used to be so bad that I once took his checkbook and went shopping at Macy's to avoid him and his foozball nonsense.
As someone who knows nothing of football, I can relate from the widow's point of view.
And nothing makes the grief go away like a chocolate malt.
You know. In case you wanted to stop and pick one up.
Pearl :-)
All I can say is that you married well!
Dude, you totally married up ;)
I have to say, I'm thrilled to pieces my husband isn't a football fan. Of course, he does watch that UFC stuff...
Your wife is a saint!!!
All I can say is you married well.
LMAO!!! I had no idea you were a poet! Fantastic stuff! (And send your wife my deepest sympathy please)
Have I mentioned how much I love that you constantly realize that you married up??!!
And her absolute glee and desire to wax more and more of your anatomy is beginning to make a lot more sense....
Great poem except for one awful line. Even though they do this year.
What is a Ute? Is that short for an Utz potato chip?
I don't know watching a JLo movie is more than enough penance.
I just watched the Back Up Plan. Worst. Movie. Ever.
While Spencer has only attended one game this year, I don't really feel like a "widow" so much. But he's talking season tickets next year, so maybe Cathi and I could widows together...
I am so glad that I love football! Our NE Patriots are 5-1. Go Pats!
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