Tuesday, October 5, 2010

When people in India call the United States for technical support

- Thank you for calling Apple technical support, my name is "Rasheed".  How may I help you?

- Uh, are you sure your name is "Rasheed"?

- Yes sir. 

- Okay, ahem... "Rasheed", I can't seem to turn off my iPod.

- Have you tried holding down the power button?

- I can't understand what you are saying.  Isn't there anyone there that speaks Hindi?

- I am speaking Hindi, sir.

- No, you are not. You are speaking some sort of strange Hindi cowboy dialect.  Are you in Texas?  Are you wearing spurs under your desk?  Is John Wayne whispering in your ear what to say? 

- I am trying to help you sir.  Have you tried to hold down the power button?

- And what button would that be?

- It's the big round one right in the middle.

- This is pathetic!  Why can't I just get a straight answer from you people?  No one listens in your country.  It's like you're all sitting on your couches, watching Real Wife House Lives and slowly obesitizing yourselves with your hotdogs and various Chex mixes.

- That's very offensive sir.  Most of us eat cheeseburgers while watching TV, not hotdogs. Now, it's the round button.  In the middle.  Can you try holding it down?

- How do you feel about stealing an Indian's job?  Don't you know that we stole your jobs fair and square, and now you are trying to steal them back? 

- If the middle button does not work, you can try to plug the iPod into your computer and restore the factory settings.

- I can't understand a word you are saying.  Your American is too thick.  Can I speak to your supervisor?

- Sure thing sir.

- What is his name?

- Her name is Gajra sir.

- Figures.  Sure, let me talk to this "Gajra".

**This post was not written as a social statement, but rather a call to treat each other civilly and with kindness, regardless of race or nationality. So I guess in a way, yes, it was a social statement.

53 comments:

Missy said...

This was a funny Social Statement! LOL

One Cluttered Brain said...

Were U having a hard time turning off your ipod? lol...
i totally get you tho.
Try spitting your order out to someone at a fast food restuarant that doesnt know english. *sigh*

That would be a good social statement indeed!

Aunt of 14 said...

HA!!! I only know how true it is, the other way around!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Oh I've experienced the opposite far too many times!

Copyboy said...

How did you get the transcript of the conversation I had in 2005?

Eva Gallant said...

Good one, Cheesie! Love it! It's so frustrating trying to have a conversation with someone whose first language isn't yours!

M-Cat said...

This is why I have learned a few key phrases in other languages.

The most important is of course:
"Sin Queso -no no NOT con queso....SIN QUESO!

And they still screw up my Big Mac

A Mom on Spin said...

Brilliant!

Nicole said...

I am totally posting this on FB.. LOVE IT. Great work, man!!

Kristina P. said...

I am so glad you weren't trying to make a social statement here. Ick for being kind to people!

LKP said...

lol. fabulous!

LKP said...

i'm about as good as that caller though, i cannot work an ipod to save my life! no lie.

tammy said...

Ha! Your post reminded me of this. My boys crack up every time they listen to it.

lisleman said...

another apple assassin - what's wrong with you people don't you realize Apple and all that comes from the book of Jobs is good. How dare you make fun of their people. Just wait until Steve, the holy one, brings back the stone tablet from the mountain, you'll see (or you'll be thrust upon a burning bush).

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

I never thought of it this way. You're right, though, hot dogs are much more offensive than cheeseburgers.
Thanks for another dose of laughter, Cheeseboy!
xoRobyn

MiMi said...

If only it weren't so dang true to life only reversed. Does that make sense??

mintifresh said...

That's seriously awesome!

FabuLeslie said...

Silly iPods! I can never figure out how to turn them off, or what "generation" I have! I do love it, though. My runs wouldn't be the same without it. And I know, because I tried. Once.

Mary said...

I think you clause should have been in larger font a bold :o)

Kristen said...

I'm sorry, was that in typed in English? Because for a minute there I couldn't understand the words. I'm used to reading emails like this:
Good day to you kind Sir and precious greetings you have. William my name is and I am very much interested in your connectors from your webpages that I have just completed visiting so nicely. May you tell me the price ever so kindly, regards, William at your disposal.
:)

Miley (woman:confused) said...

John Wayne does NOT whisper in all our Texan ears when we speak!
Just mine. I'm special that way.

The Church Lady said...

Hilarious! But, did he have the option to press 1 to speak Hindi?

Connie said...

So that's how it works when the tables are turned!

Baby Sister said...

Awesome.

T said...

I had something I wanted to say... but then Kristen's comment made me laugh too hard and it went flying out the window :)

Cherie said...

It's kind of sad that it works that way but TOO TRUE!!

Geof said...

I love how you flipped the roles here. Hilarious!

reasonably chubby said...

Funny! :) And very clever.

Kelley said...

Oh, I really love the part about the various Chex mixes. So random! LOL! I should have you guest post on my site some time.

Diane J. said...

No, no, no Rasheed. You toggle the button on the top of the iPod. Or at least that's what an Apple rep told us from some planet whose dialect is full of the zzzz sound. "You, toggle zzzzhe, zzzwitch on zzzhe top of zzzzhe iPod." Said in a laid back stoner type of way. I kid you not.

Love the social statements. OH,okay, I know this is getting long, but I have to tell you. I used to work with a gal of spanish decent. She was so funny. She would tell me stories of the spanish teacher who told her daughter she couldn't pronounce her spanish right. But, my favorite was a parent assembly where one lady kept asking questions to the point M (that's the name I'll give her) was getting snotty and said, "She answered you five times, don't you understand your own language?"

Marlene said...

Funny stuff...but right now, I'm still steaming from having the dude with the very thick Indian accent try to talk to me about credit card offers....and speaking 4,439,343 words per minute, to boot - so it's bad enough I can't understand the thick accent...but it all rolls into one word!

(Pssst....I hate outsourcing.)

DeNae said...

I'll be civil, because the Indian guy didn't make the corporate decision to outsource, but if I never have to talk to United Airlines' "customer service" again in this lifetime, I will still die frustrated and angry.

Jenn said...

That is, once again, hilarious! Funny that you should post this...yesterday I had a phone call from a gentleman with a VERY thick Indian accent: he said his name was Bob! Bob, yea, right!

Amanda said...

I talked to a "Jason" yesterday at Shutterfly.

If his name was really Jason I will eat my hat. Of course, I'll have to buy one to be able to eat it. But I am a woman of my word.

Melinda said...

I read that whole thing in an Indian accent, more like the guy from the Simpsons...

FluffyChicky said...

That is why I make The Husband do all the calling if we have an issue. Stuff like that makes me angry and want to hit things if I have to do it.

Although I am not mad at the customer service guys. It is not their fault that they are an outsource center. But I hate the company that made the choice to outsource. I hate them VERY. VERY. MUCH.

Emmy said...

Those Texans can be hard to understand..and aren't they their own country?

Deidra said...

So interesting to think of things in the opposite way of what we're used to.

wendy said...

Hmmmm, I guess I need to rethink my attitudes a little.
It is so frustrating when I call fo "help" ex. computer and can't even understand the person due to their ethnic accent.

but what the crap, I am already having enough trouble with "said help needed" let alone try to understand the person on the phone.

crap

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

Ha - at first glance I thought the guy in the headphone was you! Maybe from a prior job or something! LOL Or maybe you're moonlighting and doing that job when you are absent from the classroom in "a meeting!"

GrammyMouseTails said...

why is it that all tech support has an accent? then they tell me I have an accent! I can understand myself perfectly fine... unfortunately for me, I have learned from eleventy-billion calls to tech support that I have to expect to spend 6.8 hours on the phone trying to fix a minor problem, so I speak nicely with them so they don't hang up & I have to start all over after 5.8 hours again. So now all my friends want me to call in to tech support for them! Won't they all be S.O.L. when my 1 good ear turns off and I can't use the phone no more! bhwahahaa! they will be stuck talking techy all by themselves!
BTW... whats an i pod???

social smocial outsource baloney
;ppppppppppppppttthhhh

Ash said...

atleast you cant see him nodding his head while he is talking to you. if you dont know what im talking about then holler at me or just youtube it :p

Marnie said...

This is funny, but scarily accurate. Have you seen the commercial with the Russian male customer service representative named "Betty"? It's hilarious.

Sandra said...

So glad political correctness is finally over with. I was so tired of keeping my trap shut!
This was hilarious and terribly brilliant!

Unknown Mami said...

I can't read your writing, it's too "American". I dig the way your brain works.

daylily777 said...

After what is inevitably a long conservation with them , you may have a key of their pronunciation of words , after that there may be some hope of communication .Very funny, I hope you got your ipod fixed .
Blessings,
~Myrna

Xmas Dolly said...

You know this would be funny, but the problem is it's so true & frustrating. Thanks for stopping by yesterday. Sorry I'm so late on answering. Don't you just hate it when you get writer's block. That was me yesterday. Well, I looked through some of my pictures on my camera, and I guess my husband too the picture for some reason, and the rest is history. WAH LA Wordless Wednesday.

Marla said...

Oh my heavens!!! Now you're talking!!

Pat Tillett said...

An instant classic!
Hilarious...

Powdered Toast Man said...

Damn lazy americans stealing all the jobs.

handstowar said...

Clever. I like the sarcasm. Indians wouldn't get it.

mice_aliling said...

You know our country is the main competitor of India in call center industry.

Anyway this is funny. There are a lot of hilarious call center stories. Accent-based is definitely one of them. I had a friend who had to be trained on how to speak the different accents of the US :)

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