I am so happy with my HD TV, sometimes I just sit and stare at it in awe... and then I remember that is kinda the point.
When the HD man from HD land came to install his magic HD, he had to give us a little presentation before he left.
HD Magic Man: See how some of the stations are in HD and some are not?
Me: [excitedly] Let's see ESPN! What channel is that?
HD Man: I really don't know. I really just watch a lot of HGTV and Food Network.
How is this man even a man?!
Sometimes I go to Costco just for a hotdog. But yesterday we went there and I wasn't in the mood for a hotdog. Of course, I could have ventured over for a smorgasbord or grab-bag of small pieces of food garbage in the free sample area, but we all know how that went the last time.
If you have been to Costco for an actual meal (the area with the umbrellas, soda machine and fat ladies standing next to their cart, waiting for their husband with a giant pretzel in their hand), you know that their menu is very limited. Here are your choices:
some sort of giant, greasy Hot Pocket
I had had a large lunch, so I went with the salad, plus I am on a diet. Good move - the 6 samples I ate later would have so made me barf had I eaten the hotdog.
We watched a movie the other night called, "Food, Inc", a documentary examining where most our food comes from. The movie claims that just about every hamburger you eat in the United States has chunks of over 1,000 different cows in it. This is one reason why the spread of salmonella is so difficult to contain these days. Disgusting.
Now, when I get a hamburger I separate it into 1,000 small pieces and eat them one at a time. Much more delicious that way, but it is hard to get pickles that small.
People still consistently tell me how beautiful my wife is: both men and women. I am not sure if this happens to other men, but it seems as though I get this compliment from a different person at least once a week. It never gets old, it's great and oh so true.
However, in contrast, a group of three 4th grade girls came up to me at recess, told me I was, "handsome" and ran off. Yeah, it's almost the same thing.
Someone once mentioned in the comments of a previous post that I had tracted into Charles in Charge on my mission. Now, I am here to admit that this is only HALF true... I actually tracted into Scott Baio, who played the CHARACTER "Charles" on the hit TV show, "Charles in Charge". He owned an enormous summer home in the "mountains" of the Poconos. He came to the door in his Pajamas and reached over and grabbed the paper while he spoke to us. Not sure if he actually lived downstairs.
Scott (as I referred to him thereafter) was quite handsome, silky and dashing as he reached over, grabbed the paper, said, "no thanks" and shut the door all in one continuous motion. I am not sure if I said a single word, but I could feel a connection had been made.
I could see Buddy making coffee in the kitchen and FYI... there was a lake nearby!
Also, I would like to make it abundantly clear that this was not my only brush with fame (and by this, I mean my brush with someone famous) during my two years in Pennsylvania. During that time, I knocked on the doors of the following: Both of the Andretti brother's homes, Evander Hollyfield's home and I drove by Tom Cruise's property almost daily for three months. I never saw him and it was all fenced off so knocking on his door was impossible.
Also, during my time in Scranton/Wilkes Barre, I may or may not have heard the band "Scrantonicity" during a Farmer's Market I attended.