What I imagine people will think when I update my Facebook profile information.
- Look at this, he has his birthday listed, but not his year. That's probably not because he is ashamed of his age, but because he is on the lookout for identity thieves. He's always been very cognizant of those types of safety issues. He's very responsible.
- It says that he's married. Why, that is a bummer, but it only makes sense, with how he is such a magnificent man and all, of course some woman has gobbled him up by now.
- Ah, I see he is a high school graduate. That would explain why he is well spoken and so well versed in so many areas. And of course he went to Highland High School, the elite of the elites of the three Salt Lake City public high schools! I would have not thought any differently. I bet he was so popular too.
- The more I read Abe's profile, the more impressed I am with him. Did you know that he graduated from the University of Utah in 2000? That's a mere six years after he graduated high school! Clearly, he takes his education seriously and it shows!
- Wow. His musical tastes range from Neil Diamond to Bell X1. Who knew he had such a range of interesting and eclectic taste in music? I'm going to have to email him to get some recommendations.
- And here I thought his taste in music was diverse and inspired, but his taste in movies is even more impressive. I mean, had I known one of his favorite movies was The Shawshank Redemption, I would have taken him much more seriously! I'm going to have to apologize.
- HOLD THE PHONE! What's this. He likes Disneyland? That is one of his many interests? I love Disneyland! This proves that despite being clearly intelligent, he is also a family man and down to earth. I appreciate this very much about his personality. He is an amazing, amazing man.
- This has been so interesting. I am so glad I spent the last 70 minutes looking at Abe's profile. I feel like I now have someone to look up to in life. I look forward to his future updates!