I was asked today by a few of the teachers at my new school if I was "musically inclined". This is a common question teachers ask each other. This is teacher code for "Will you teach our kids to sing and/or play the piano?" Which is actually teacher code for "Will you please, please take my naughty kids off my hands for a half an hour a couple times a week?" Which is actually teacher code for "Oh my gosh, I am so tired. Someone please help me!"
I know this code because it is the first question I ask every new hire.
However, this was the first time that I have ever had this question asked of me.
Musically inclined? Even though I knew the code, it took me a long time to answer this question. It totally took me off guard.
I was at a loss. My principal, knowing my unique and quirky musical qualifications, happened to be there with me. I appealed to him for an answer and he too, was speechless. Let me give you a quick rundown of my musical qualifications:
- I love to sing, yet I am a very average singer. Average is actually code for AWESOME! Just ask the people that sit in front of me at church. I have personally witnessed the entire pew in front of me turn around at the same time and see where the boisterous, silky, opera toned voice was projecting from. Many folks in church will actually giggle; I can only assume it is because they are amused by exotic sounding Jewish man voices.
- I can play just about any song on the harmonica. I do not have any idea how I obtained this skill. Unfortunately, I have been hiding it under a bushel basket far too long. My harmonica has literally been hiding under a bushel basket in my backyard for over two years. I put it in the bushel basket because the basket provides an ideal storage location.
- I play five chords on the guitar that I play over and over and over. I make up stupid songs that six-year-old's enjoy that go along with these five chords.
- I can do a mean Neil Diamond impersonation, and by mean, I mean I can impersonate Neil in one of his many divorce phases. I also like to wear rhinestones, but rarely do as per Cathi's request.
"Well, he thinks he is!"