Friday, August 5, 2011

The "Overcoming Procrastination" Class

This post was inspired by a post by a good blog friend, Pedaling Fast. The post can be found here.  Essentially, it involves this poster she saw at my least favorite "University", BYU:



The following is a transcript of the above class...

- Well, I suppose we should get started even though it looks like a lot of people are running late.

- No, we'll wait.  Okay, I suppose we'll wait a few more minutes.

- Alright, it's really time we get started.  Thank you for coming today.  I appreciate your patience as we have had to reschedule this class 16 times.  We've finally found time to make this happen!

- Today's lecture will be on "Overcoming Procrastination".  Our guest speaker, Donald Feinstein is running a bit late so I will be covering until he gets here.

- Alright, it looks like a few more people are just now showing up, so I am just going to wait a minute or two to let everyone get settled.

- Thank you, everyone for coming. As you may have heard, Dr. Feinstein is running a little late, so I will be lecturing until he gets here.  Actually, before I start, could I have each of you stand up, state your name and tell us why you are taking this class?  Also, could each of you tell us something unique or funny about yourself?  Since there are roughly 112 people here, I'll go last...

- Thank you everyone, that was very informative.  I think I will tell you about myself next time as we are running out of time.  Dr. Feinstein just called and he said he probably won't be making it tonight, so I'll be doing the majority of the talking.

- Before I begin, I'd like each of you to take out a piece of paper and write a list of 50 things you procrastinate about.  No, not 50, we better make it 100.  Go with 100.

- Okay, put your pencils down.  Now what I'd like you to do is think - really think - about your list.  I'm going to turn off the lights and turn on some music while you contemplate your lists. We'll do this for the next 35 - 40 minutes.

- [Turns the lights on.] Well everyone, great session today.  Unfortunately, we're completely out of time.  Our next meeting will be in 2 and a half months.  Dr. Feinstein promises to be back, but you never really know with that guy.

- Remember, you are going to need to bring your Yoga mats for our next session. You might want to wait until they go on sale.  There is really no hurry to go buy one.  No hurry at all.  See you next time!

45 comments:

Phil and Ted said...

Well, I was going to comment with something witty, but I can always do that tomorrow. Very funny post. Being a teen (and a teen with that curse known as summer homework), I can definitely relate. (I even wrote a humor piece on the 4 Reasons Teens Procrastinate).

- Phil

-stephanie- said...

I'll comment later.

Kate said...

I could've written this, but I kept putting it off.

Pedaling said...

I posted something worth a re-post over here in funny land....well, I am honored!

I love a little revelry and the hate you have in your heart for the blue. It's sincere and deep.

One more thing, as we were walking the halls of the school you hate the most, we saw at least three grown men wearing sandals with socks- one of the few freakishly weirdly entertaining sights of the night.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Very funny and well written, Cheeseboy. I especially like that this class will meet again in 2-1/2 months, and the meditative music factor. It seems very Berkeley/Bay Area. Everyone there likes to procrastinate in yoga positions with meditative music playing.
xoRobyn

Saimi said...

I'm listening to some yoga music and thought I'd comment oh your post but I'll wait till the music is over first.

♥α§ђ£ε¥™♥ said...

I can't procrastinate anymore! I only have 5 days!

Oh wait, that's school.

Which I'm procrastinating for by being online and reading blogs.

Which I shouldn't be doing, because I only have 5 days.

Actually, for the paper, 3

I don't think this is productive.

I'll make a more productive comment later, maybe after I finish my paper.

But first, I have to start my paper.

See blog.

~Ashley~

Alison@Mama Wants This said...

It'd be funny if the sign had said "1.00PM - maybe".

Wait, just me?

Alittlesprite said...

OK... think of something witty to say... ...

..........

..................

Keetha Broyles said...

I really need that class, but I think I'll wait to take it until the next time it's offered.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I need a class like that. Maybe next month...

The Stiffs said...

Since everyone else is waiting to comment on this hilarious post, I guess I will too.

Amy said...

To think I almost postponed reading this post. Oh so funny! The irony, right?

mintifresh said...

I was going to comment yesterday but got distracted and it was a really good comment but I forgot it.

Cheryl said...

If you ever need a guest instructor, I have a PHD in Procrastination. Of, course in my world that would stand for Pushing for haulting and delaying.

Antares Cryptos said...

Never heard of the word. I take breaks from doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

Middle-aged Mormon Man said...

Speaking of procrastination... wasn't there supposed to be a breakdancing at Subway video on here?

Teachinfourth said...

I notice that you took your sweet time in reposting about this...

Jonah Gibson said...

I kind of felt like, if I skipped that class, someone would post a transcript. Thanks for that. The 5 year wait was worth it.

Lene said...

Oh...I was really going to try to make it to that class. Well maybe I will get to the one in 2 1/2 months. We'll see...

Simon Wallett said...

I would write a long comment but.......hold on.....ah crap that jokes already been over done!

Connie said...

Oh boy. The reason I'm on the computer right now is because I'm procrastinating doing more wedding stuff. Each time I put it off until tomorrow, brings me that much closer to the wedding date. Oh well, I can always pull an all nighter the night before!

This post reminds me of a conference I went to for school. In the ADHD class, the presenter hadn't shown up. When he was called, he was in the middle of a meeting with colleagues. He grabbed a brief case and headed to the conference. He was 20 minutes late and admitted that he too, has adult ADHD and has a hard time focusing.
I should use that excuse. It's better than using the excuse of dementia! Although that's probably more believable!

VaLon said...

Reading your blog in procratination of, um, other things. Maybe I'll tell you about them sometime.

Emmy said...

Ditto to what middle- aged-Mormon man said- where's the video?

And I almost didn't read this because of all the hatred I felt at the beginning.

Mary said...

I'm the princess of procrastination....bc let's face it, its too much effort to be queen!
Even through college, I'd be up @ 0300 writing papers that were dur that day! My excuse now id that the only time I can study is when the twins are asleep. Its always good to have an excuse :o)

Tom said...

Even more than procrastinating, this kind of reminds me of some of my stalling techniques I used to use when I had to teach teenagers at church and was trying to burn up extra time.

Joann Mannix said...

As I'm reading this my daughter's phone alarm keeps going off in the next room. she turns it off, it goes back on two minutes later. When I yelled to her to turn it off, she said sleepily, "I have it on snooze. I'm waiting to wake up." That is the ultimate in procrastination. Waiting to wake up. She could teach that class.

Leslie said...

Funneh!

Lost.in.Idaho said...

This is where I would rant about BYU, show links to my blog about my BYU experiences, but it's just so nice outside.

Maybe later.

imbeingheldhostage said...

No joke-- I read this last night and decided I'd come back today to comment. Wow, wonder if there's space in that class...

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Pretty much sounds like my life...!

Powdered Toast Man said...

I meant to take that class but my naps kept getting in the way of signing up for it.

Silver Strands said...

Ha!
And really Abe .. your least favorite university??! Can't be that bad can it?

Kelley said...

Ohhhh, this was great. So great. These kinds of things drive me crazy! JUST START ALREADY!

Kelley said...

Ohhhh, this was great. So great. These kinds of things drive me crazy! JUST START ALREADY!

Lourie said...

Haha...I fell for it for about the first few lines and then....

Crystal Pistol said...

I haven't cleaned out my fridge in quite some time. I feel motivated after reading this! Thank you! Tomorrow I will do it FOR SURE!

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Wait... sorry, what? I couldn't seem to make it past the "least favorite university, BYU" part.

That's low man... so low. :D

Jason, as himself said...

This is very funny stuff. And BYU is your least favorite? Me too!

Marnie said...

Hilarious! Sadly true...but still hilarious.

Unknown Mami said...

I waited too long to sign up for that class.

Pat Tillett said...

I'll comment later...

M-Cat said...

Pretty much summed up my typical day at work.

Confessions of a Closet Hoarder but you can call me Judy said...

Too funny!

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

I'm going to get my yoga mat and try catch that next class... maybe.