Wednesday, August 10, 2011

If my family was Amish...

- Alright yunguns, time yuns stop playing that peg game and go out into the sun.

- But fatha, we can't outen the lights and head outside.  We're on the 7th level! One more and we've cleared the board. We're so close! Pleeeeeease papa!

- You've been playing that blasted thing for hours now. How is it that yuns children can just sit and stare at that wood board all day?! I tell yuns, it wonders me.  It wonders me something fierce.

- But fatha, we love this game! We can never eat ourselves full of it.

- You know, yuns eyes are going to turn into creamed corn or dippy ecks by staring at that wood all day.

- [Crying] Fatha, fatha!  We are almost to the 7th level.  PLEASE don't make us go outside!

- I careth not about the 7th level. Your brutzing is unbearable.  Now go outside and spin a that wheel thing with a stick or something.

- [Still crying] But fatha, it's spritzing outside and we haven't... I mean, I'm on my last life! Just a few moments more, fatha.

- It is not spritzing.  T'is a lovely day outside.  Now, I'm going to take that drat thing and chuck it in yuns corn husks over yonder!  Now goeth outside and DO SOMETHING!  NOW!

- Papa, we promise we won't play for the rest of the day and we won't be nix nootz children.

- Look here, children, it's mox nix.  Either yuns get outside and run around like right like children or I taketh your little game and smash it into pieces.

- Fatha?

- NOW!

- [Crying] Alright fatha, alright.

40 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I bet Rumspringa couldn't come soon enough!

Lene said...

"I just need to finish this level" or "I'm in the middle of a race"

Ugh

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Different cultures, same issues!

Nicole said...

OH My Goodness.. No doubt.. creative and funny. How DO YOU DO IT? More importantly.. where in the WORLD did the inspiration come from? I can only imagine.

Pat said...

mox nix...nix nootx. What's the diff?

ha!

But fatha!

Love it!

Antares Cryptos said...

How are they ever going to make it to the 8th level if fatha keeps interfering. Gosh.

Laraine Eddington said...

Fatha is a meany. I hope his young uns don't smother him with a quilt.

Saimi said...

I think fatha wants a little alone time with Ma and it had nothin to do with that blasted peg game!

Now git outside chillins and don't come in til the fat lady sings!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I think Saimi's onto something. Er, fatha's onto something (motha).

Love the fascinating way your mind works. You're ever unpredictable.
xoRobyn

Joan said...

macht nichts - as we used to say in Germany.

As someone else said, different cultures...

Crystal Pistol said...

"It wonders me something fierce."

I like that. I believe I'll use it as my own in everyday conversation and give you no credit. Yup. That's how much I like it.

dbs said...

In a future post Fatha should meet Fazja.

Cheryl said...

Perhaps, Fatha should threaten to take the buggy away for the week.

Teachinfourth said...

Should have appealed to their mutha...

The Bipolar Diva said...

I say they have buggy races in the town square!

Heidi said...

Sorry, but totally stealing the line, "It wonders me something fierce." for use in every day conversation.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

What? No telly???

Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

You're hilarious - yup, I got me a family just like that. And if they were cavemen it would be, "stop playing with that rock/stick/chunk of dried mammoth dung and get outside!"

RottenMom said...

Genius.

Pure Genius.

Jenn said...

Gosh, I didn't realize Amish father's were so harsh!! lol

Jonah Gibson said...

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Brilliant!

Hart Johnson said...

*snort* You know the funny thing though--when I was a kid I could get so wrapped up in game after game of solitaire or that triangle peg board... I think those repetitive motion addictions predated video games by a long shot.

Joann Mannix said...

Just wait until Fatha tells those kids they've got to build the new house for the family.

And just so you know, I'm writing today and listening to Bon Iver, because I'm ultra hip like that.

Emmy said...

Lol! Even the Amish have those troubles :)

Powdered Toast Man said...

I need an Amish to English dictionary

Lazarus said...

I didn't know that they have Amish in Utah, or else you picked that up when you were spending time in PA for your mission, either way, spot on, very funny!

W.C.Camp said...

Maybe I missed the point but that game the kids are playing REALLY sounds engaging??? Do you know where I can get a copy that runs on my hand cranked DVD player? W.C.C.

Lindzena said...

HA! I just wanted to let you know that your posts always brighten my day. I've started showing them to my husband, and he gets a kick out of them too. Epic.

Christine said...

Donna believe dat dey EVER have a last life, dey all say dat.

Kristen said...

I have actually HEARD that conversation from my neighbors.. ;)

Marnie said...

I would love to know what goes through your mind! You are one creative person. No wonder your students have a good time. I had a good time chuckling at this.

myinnerchick.com said...

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease Fatha! This was incredible. NO matter the age, it's still the same ol' crap.
Great Post...

Lourie said...

It's all about the levels.

mintifresh said...

Geesh! Poor kids! Where is Harrison Ford when you need him??

Pat Tillett said...

Different place, different cultures, we all have the same problems! Too many distractions for kids these days.

Kelley said...

Hahaha!! I imagined you talking with the weird beard & everything! I didn't know you Amish were so fond of saying "yuns". Ha!

Silver Strands said...

I lived in SE Pennsylvania for my teenage years: I'd swear you're Amish with that great accent of yours!

MiMi said...

Jah, this is wonderbarr gut.

M-Cat said...

Pure genius. And now I really have no need to visit Amish land now. It was on my bucket list, but I think I'll let that go. Especially after the image Saimi left on my brain. *shiver*

danjor21 said...

I happen to live next to such a breed.I often wonder what the heck they are doing! Thanks for summing that up! Hilarious!
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