Dear people that do the wave,
I have some questions for you:
Are you bored?
Do you really think that the louder you "woooo", the better the wave gets?
Are you easily swayed by your peers?
If the entire audience was jumping off a cliff, would you do it too?
If people were doing the wave while jumping off a cliff, would you do it too?
Is it because one of the furry mascots told you to do it?
Do you feel like your involved in the world's biggest class project for losers?
Were you obnoxious cheerleader in high school or did you aspire to be an obnoxious cheerleader?
Do you think that someone is going to throw out free tee shirts to the section that has the best wave? Maybe pizza?
Is doing the wave just a Utah thing? A Mormon thing?
Were you all once Cub Scout Denmothers and had to think up clever cheers for the boys?
Perhaps we could all just pretend to blow up our hand and give the team a collective "big hand"?
Why are you doing the wave while OUR TEAM has the ball?
In life, do you enjoy being an overwhelmingly, repugnant distraction?
Are you one of those people that have to read the subtitles out loud at a foreign film?
Do you realize that doing the wave makes you look lame?
Do you realize that you are paying more attention to watching the wave go around the stadium than actually watching the game?
PS... If you are under the age of 12, please disregard this letter.
PPS... My friends and I once tried to start the wave around Old Faithful while waiting for it to go off. It was actually going pretty well and we had good participation, but that is a blog for another day.