Cheeseboy's guide to things you should and should not launch with a water balloon launcher.

**Disclaimer - Do not share this post with your impressionable youth, it may give them evil thoughts to do evil things. I have repented of these sins and while I have not shared them with my Bishop, he reads my blog regularly. Just in case he doesn’t read this post, I have forwarded it to a Rabbi. Considering I am of partial Jewish descent, I have a firm belief that my admittance to a Rabbi will absolve me of nearly 25 - 40% of my sins, depending on how Jewish I actually am. The other 60-75% I will have to take up with my Bishop. So the way I see it, this is a start...

As a youth I was very involved in science with my friends. We loved it. In fact, we created an amazing science project and recorded some incredible findings. Together we manufactured one of the largest water balloon launchers this side of the Mississip. When fully stretched, one person could launch from the roof of a garage, while two people held each end of the rubber band on the ground. One might refer to it as the Cadillac of water balloon launchers.

We scouted each neighborhood for the perfect launching spot to test drive our nifty gizmo. We settled on Steve’s house. It sat high on the hillside, overlooking the entire valley, near the "H" (for Highland) rock. Below his home sat an abundance of very wealthy houses, along with a few stores and a K-Mart. We had an endless amount of targets to choose from. You may take a look at our findings below:

THINGS THAT WILL NOT LAUNCH VERY FAR INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD

1. Head of lettuce
2. Roll of toilet paper
3. Cobs of corn
4. Garden squash
5. A group of cherry tomatoes
6. Potato Salad, or anything sticky really.
7. Large water balloons. The would often break upon launch and soak the holders.

THINGS THAT WILL LAUNCH VERY FAR INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD

1. Regular sized tomatoes
2. Golf balls - Those things would fly! Dangerous, yes, but we only really shot them at the roof of K-Mart and amazingly enough we would hit it at nearly a mile away.
3. Small water balloons.
4. A stuffed animal with a medium sized rock inside.
5. Chestnuts.
6. A plastic bag of dog crap.

I know we launched a lot more crud, but I just can’t recall what it all was. Steve, you probably can help me out on this? It was your house after all.

Oh man, those were some great times. What a great house that was! They had a HUGE outdoor pool with an attached hot tub. I recall sluffing seminary a few times, driving up to Steve’s house, taking a quick dip, launch a few items and return to school, still in soaking wet shorts and thongs (yes, the butt kind), just in time for math class. I have a few other stories to tell about our times there, but I am afraid that my mother will already be overly disappointed in me when she reads this post.

Long live the water launcher!

*Note - This photo is not of me and my friends. I have no idea who these losers are. I just found this picture on the internet. I thought it would just give you an idea of the moronic thoughts that were going through our minds back in the mid 90's.