I hate ostriches. There is a really stinky building at Hogle Zoo. (As soon as I say the words "stinky, building and zoo", everyone knows exactly the building I am talking about.) When I was a kid, outside this building there was an open area that you had to walk through to get out. And in that open area - free roaming ostriches.
An ostrich chased me once. I may have been 4 or even younger. But I remember being chased by an ostrich. It was a mean sunofabitch. If my memory serves me correctly, it spit. It may have also had fangs. It's claws where sharp. It had death in it's eyes. It made a strange noise.
An ostrich will attack. They will attack with a vicious veracity that I have never seen in any other animal. I hate them. They are my animal kingdom nemesis. (I also hate Cougar and the possum, but not as much as I hate the Ostrich.)
If there was an ostrich in my house right now, I would snap it's neck. I wouldn't even care. Even if PETA where here in my house eating twinkies and cool aid with me. I would break it's neck so bad! You don't even know!
2 comments:
I hate them too. When Ike and I worked in landscaping at Lagoon, we used to have to reach into their cage to hook up a hose so that we could water the grass under the Rollo-planes. The dumb birds would always freek us out. When I had to do it, I would wait until they were clear across their cage and then I would hurry and stick my hand through the fence. Every single time, one of them would suprise me. I always would just about have the hose screwed onto the faucet when I would look up and have one hissing at me about a foot away from my face. Once I got the hose hooked up, I would spray them with it, to get them back to their side of the cage. Take that bird lovers! P.S.- Sorry Abe if I just blogged on your blog.
Hahahaha You don't even KNOW! (thats from a Dane Cook routine, but I love to say it) I love this post, its freaking hysterical. Glad to know you were funny from the beginning of your blog, don't know why...but glad to know. :)
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