Our beloved Portable CD player, a
friend, companion and patriot passed from this earthly life on Friday, April
13, 2007 He died of a broken
heart.
Our dear friend brought joy to all
those he met, touching the lives of literally millions of people across the
globe, especially at the peak of his popularity in the mid to late 90’s. In
honor of the loss of this great 90’s icon, Guess Jeans shall be flown at half-staff
across the nation.
Portable CD Player shall be missed
most by his beloved companion, Portable CD Player Case (You know, the puffy
black one with space for the CD Case holder) and her lovely carrying strap. Together,
they had 144 CD children; 116 original CDs of their own and 28 adopted burnt
mixed CDs that they adopted from some guy named Larry with an amazing music
collection.
Portable CD Player lived life to the
fullest. His favorite hobby was skipping and he would often skip up to 50 times
per hour. When anyone would push him, tap him or touch him in any way, he would
simply skip. In a way, the way he dealt with people was frustratingly
endearing. (More frustrating than endearing.)
Portable CD Player is proceeded in
death by his Record Player (Grandfather), Cassette Player (Mother), Walkman
(Father), 8-Track Player (Weird Uncle) and Mini-Disk Player (Cocky Cousin). He
is survived by: iPhone, iPod, iPad, iTunes, Laptop, YouTube, Spotify, Pandora
and his cheap son, MP3 Player.
Graveside services will be held at the
Panasonic Graveyard on Thursday at 4:00PM. In lieu of flowers, please purchase
200 blank CDs and place them lovingly around the gravesite.
No comments:
Post a Comment