Friday, May 13, 2011

The Life Signs Cycle

Age 5:
Can you write your name?

Age 7:
Can I sign up for soccer?

Age 8:
Can you sign your name in cursive?

Age 10:
Can you sign my cast?

Age 12:
Mom, can you sign my report card?

Age 14:
Look son, that new hair is just a sign that you are going through some changes.

Age 15:
Dude, have you seen Signs? That ending was totally insane!

Age 16:
Sign here for your driver's license.

Age 17:
Young man, did you not see the speed limit sign?

Age 18:
This diploma is a sign of your hard work.

Age 19:
Hey baby, what's your sign?

Age 19 (10 seconds later):
Alright, I'll take this drink in my face as a sign that you're totally into me.

Age 20:
Your final grades will be posted on the sign in the hall.

Age 21:
Sign here to post bail for your friend.

Age 22:
This diploma is a sign that you are now ready to enter the workforce.

Age 22 and two months:
Where the hell are all the 'Help Wanted' signs?!

Age 25:
Baby, this ring is a sign of my deep and abiding love for you.

Age 28:
She is 3 months along with still no sign of showing.

Age 30:
Sign here to close.  And here. And here.  And here. And here.  And here. And here. And here. And here. And here.  And here.  And here.  And here.  And here.  And here. And here.  And here...

Age 35:
I think this beer gut might be a sign I need to lose weight.

Age 35 - 65:
Honey, did you sign the checks for the bills?

Age 50:
I am going to ask your daughter to marry me.  Sir, I really'd like you to sign off on this.

Age 70:
Honey, did you forget the handicapped parking sign again?

Age 75:
Didn't the sign say they have a senior citizen discount?

Age 80:
Look dad, I'm sorry but there have been a ton of signs that you need to be moved to a home.

Age 90:
Can you write your name?

47 comments:

  1. KristinFilutMay 13, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    Ok, I know I'm slow, but I was to age 14 before I realized to what "signs" you were referring...

    *facepalm*

    ReplyDelete
  2. Chris PhillipsMay 13, 2011 at 10:30 PM

    Sings was hoaky. Village was much better.

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  3. My Oatmeal KissesMay 13, 2011 at 10:33 PM

    Where do you come up with this stuff? You are hillarious! (P.S. This one was very manly! No woman would say Beer Gutt.)

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  4. Miss BeeMay 13, 2011 at 10:35 PM

    Aw! This is actually really poignant! Love it!

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  5. W.C.CampMay 13, 2011 at 11:06 PM

    I'm seriously a little nervous about that 50 year old sign since I have a daughter. Thanks for making me worry!
    W.C.C.

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  6. AlittlespriteMay 13, 2011 at 11:12 PM

    The ending is sad :(

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  7. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comMay 13, 2011 at 11:49 PM

    I like that you came full cycle with the signs. This was funny and prolific.
    xoRobyn

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  8. Alex J. CavanaughMay 14, 2011 at 4:53 AM

    You're terrible! Although the mortgage signing was accurate.

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  9. Cathy Olliffe-WebsterMay 14, 2011 at 5:45 AM

    That was just really, really good. Kinda deep, kinda funny, kinda real life.... this would make a great country song.

    ReplyDelete
  10. KristenMay 14, 2011 at 5:50 AM

    This is Amazing! I'm slightly late on the signing here, here. and here, BUT I just did that two nights ago and it WAS a milestone. You may not be able to write your name some day but I guarantee you will still TYPE.

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  11. LindaMay 14, 2011 at 6:41 AM

    This a a good and realistic list! I'm getting to the age where people as me if I can sign my name. Well, maybe not quite that old!

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  12. AnonymousMay 14, 2011 at 7:00 AM

    Very funny and so true! I haven't commented much, but I read the Cheese still. Keep at it. Love your humor. =)

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  13. NicoleMay 14, 2011 at 7:07 AM

    Now... this was actually very profound! I love it. One of my faves, for certain!

    ReplyDelete
  14. laughingmomMay 14, 2011 at 8:04 AM

    Love this! You could reverse the order of ages 25 and 28, though, for many!

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  15. -stephanie-May 14, 2011 at 8:07 AM

    Funny post. I'm glad I signed up to follow you.

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  16. tammyMay 14, 2011 at 8:19 AM

    I'm kind of a little depressed now.

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  17. CperzMay 14, 2011 at 8:53 AM

    Really a great post. Very thought provoking. I agree with Tammy and Alittlesprite that the ending is a bit depressing. I'm shooting for being "Betty White" at 90.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Lisa LooMay 14, 2011 at 9:55 AM

    Have you ever heard "Here;s Your Sign" ? Best ever.....

    ReplyDelete
  19. Bees With HoneyMay 14, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    How sad that life comes full circle. We go from not knowing how to write our names when we're little to not knowing how to do it again when we're old. So sad.

    Makes me miss my Grandmas. And Grandpas. And not want to see my parents get old.

    *sniff*

    ReplyDelete
  20. AllyMay 14, 2011 at 2:42 PM

    Wow, this was so good. Some funny, some sad. So true. One thing though, 25 today is a bit young to be getting married, no?

    FourthGradeNothing.com

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  21. mCatMay 14, 2011 at 4:12 PM

    Cheeseboy is getting deep. I like it.
    Great post. And isn't the mortgage one so true?

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  22. 00dozoMay 14, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    Heh, heh. I just hope that not all of the signs of age are so predictable.
    ;-)

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  23. KellyMay 14, 2011 at 4:37 PM

    the circle of life. Sigh!

    ReplyDelete
  24. the teacher's petsMay 14, 2011 at 6:18 PM

    Bravo! Bravo! Your signs are intuitive, hilarious, and thought provoking! I can only hope that I am never asked to sign my name as a new resident at a nursing home, thank you very much!
    By the way, how's your inflatable green dinosaur that you won from the Silly Saturday Photo Caption Contest doing? Thanks for submitting your caption this evening! I agree that the goat needs a dentist!

    ReplyDelete
  25. DavisMay 14, 2011 at 6:20 PM

    I loved this. The end.

    ReplyDelete
  26. MelindaMay 14, 2011 at 7:16 PM

    I think this is the deepest thing you've written--is this a sign about something?!

    ReplyDelete
  27. ChristineMay 14, 2011 at 8:31 PM

    Very deep, I agree with Melinda, clever, and witty and so true as well. The picture of the sign is funny too.

    ReplyDelete
  28. ConnieMay 14, 2011 at 10:35 PM

    Sad but true. Just had the 50 happen to us last week...for the 7th time! (Not the same child)

    ReplyDelete
  29. ♥α§ђ£ε¥™♥May 14, 2011 at 10:43 PM

    By the time I'm 90, I don't know if we'll still be writing. That's....67 years from now. I had to stop and think about that (pitiful, I know, for a soon to be college grad. Maybe I should rethink the degree....)

    Perpetually Me

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  30. PedalingMay 14, 2011 at 10:55 PM

    right back to - can you write your name? hehe

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  31. MarnieMay 15, 2011 at 6:10 AM

    The circle...or rather should I say signs of life :0) These were hilarious because they are true.

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  32. TeachinfourthMay 15, 2011 at 2:54 PM

    Wait, there are signs?

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  33. Corrina TerryMay 15, 2011 at 4:39 PM

    This is yet another sign that you are still a creative writer! ;o)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Crystal PistolMay 15, 2011 at 7:27 PM

    This is brilliant. BRILLIANT! And tender.

    I liked the one about hair at age 14 the very best, which was less tender and more hilarious.

    Why must I be so low-brow??

    ReplyDelete
  35. LourieMay 15, 2011 at 8:02 PM

    Okay I am not too happy with age 50 because that one --for him not me--is not too far away. Which means our daughter is headed that way. :( I love the house one though. 200 pages I think of signature this, here, there, that, every where. hahaha.

    ReplyDelete
  36. JanieceMay 15, 2011 at 8:12 PM

    i think i am right above my kids wanting to put me in a home!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Sara @ Domestically ChallengedMay 15, 2011 at 8:15 PM

    YOU 100% nailed it!! I love this one!

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  38. UnknownMay 15, 2011 at 9:29 PM

    Funny how we always revert back to baby like status as we get older..... boy, that sucks!!

    ReplyDelete
  39. SueLovesCherriesMay 16, 2011 at 8:22 AM

    Scary - but true!

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  40. Impulsive AddictMay 16, 2011 at 9:56 AM

    Wow. Could you be any more accurate? This depresses me. It won't be long before someone is asking if I can sign my name...

    ReplyDelete
  41. Kev D.May 16, 2011 at 10:30 AM

    Don't forget to sign the card for Mindy from Accounting.

    Great post dude.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Cluttered BrainMay 16, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    lol...Is this your own list?
    Love it. I don't think your updates are showing up in my dashboard anymore...*sigh* It's a sad day.
    Love ya Cheeseman! I hope you are close to 700 followers....

    ReplyDelete
  43. TisforTonyaMay 16, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    the house closing one had me choking on my lunch - :) I love that I'm in the category that just signs bills... for the next 30 years...

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  44. MaceyMay 16, 2011 at 5:43 PM

    Bahahahaha!! This is a good one.
    I especially like the one about the signing for the house. I think that gave me carpel tunnel...

    ReplyDelete
  45. AnonymousMay 17, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    Call me crazy, but this made me kind of sad.

    I'm curious...do you follow all of your followers??? And if you do, how do you have time to read and comment?

    ReplyDelete
  46. EmmyMay 17, 2011 at 6:02 PM

    This post was so funny.. But almost kind of sad at the end

    ReplyDelete
  47. UnknownMay 31, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    This was so good! I love how you took the word "sign" and came up with all of that. Are you a genius?

    ReplyDelete

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