What can I say, I am awesome.
This girl's - we shall call her "Mindy" - goal in life is to try and make me laugh. I know this because in January we made a list of New Year's resolutions and numbers 3-8 were, "Make Mr. Cheeseboy laugh." That resolution was easily achieved because I laughed the second I read her list of New Year's resolutions.
Well, she unknowingly made me laugh today with her bizarre story from the 7-year-old Netherworld. I asked the students to write their very best story to give their parents after our program tomorrow. The stories are actually in nicely bound books that we spend a lot of time on. Mindy decided to write the following story:
The Strong Teachers
Written and Illustrated by: Mindy
Dedicated to: My Mom and Dad because they drop me off at school.
Once upon a time, there was a panda named Mindy. She was lost in the woods.
She found a tree house. She lived in it.
There was ice cream and lots of Diet Mt. Dew. (FYI: I drink a lot of Diet Mt. Dew.)
She found Mr. Cheeseboy in there. Mr. Cheeseboy was like, "ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Then Mindy died. Mr. Cheeseboy got $1,000,000,0000. (Not sure why?)
But suddenly there were 1,000,000,000 pandas.
Mr. Cheeseboy killed them all. (What?! Just so you know, I love Pandas and I would never do them any harm.)
Mrs. Charley (Another First Grade teacher) was fighting Mr. Cheeseboy with her long toe and fingernails.
Then they got chopped off, even worse she turned into a bull. Even better she turned into a Queen. Then she turned into a penguin. A penguin that played soccer.
She got better and she was rich. She beat up a strong guy.
The End.
Future Books Mindy Hopes to Write:
The Spectacular Superheroes
The Rainbow
The Dog Who Really Liked Flowers
Not only is it funny, but if you set it to music I'd swear it'd be something off of the Beatles Sgt. Pepper album.
ReplyDeleteJust the beginning: Dedicated to: My Mom and Dad because they drop me off at school...
ReplyDeletetha had me cracking up!!!!
btw the whole story had me laughing, but the beginning is PRICELESS!!
ReplyDeleteOh you have had your hands full with that creatice little mind:) So great! Does she have a blog? :)
ReplyDeleteI bet she has her first teacher crush. How cute. :)
ReplyDeleteAs a parent of a first grader...this sounds so in keeping with what they come up with. hilarious! I agree with copyboy, though, it's right out of an acid trip.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds a lot like a dream I had the other night. The only thing that was different is that the fight between the teachers happened in a bowl of queso. And the winner got a 1,000,000,000 margaritas.
ReplyDeleteP.S. FYI, northerners, midwesterners, and pacific northwesterners, "Queso" is what we call cheese dip in Texas. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Modern Mom, she's a blogger in the making! I love when little ones create stories and that one will be a keeper!!
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing!
Was this an episode of Lost? Because it makes as much sense as that damn show.
ReplyDeleteis she a blogger yet?
ReplyDeleteI had this dream just last night!
ReplyDeletePanda's, penguins, $1,000,000 and a strong guy. Yup! Sounds like the PERFECT elements for a story to me!!
ReplyDeleteI love what kids can come up with!!
My favorite was the dedication with a reason behind it. Can't wait until she writes a blog someday!
ReplyDeleteWhat's with the Long Toe? That's the trippiest part of the whole psychedelic based story. Feet freak me out and long toes just sound evil. Fighting long toes are worse than dead pandas. Trust me.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to teach her art!!! Awesome story!
ReplyDeleteI always had a thing for pandas---too bad one had to die so that 1,000,000 more could live (hmm, that sounds somewhat Biblical).
ReplyDeleteI love kid stories. I could sit and listen to the inner workings of my son's mind all day long...
I'm going to go make my first grader tell me a story right now!! (I'm low on blog fodder at the moment and this crap is priceless!!)
ReplyDeleteYour kids have an overactive imagination. Pandas a $1 each? Come on!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great sense of humor Mindy has! Love her!
ReplyDeleteI'm like "ahhhhhh" right now, only with a laugh and a big question mark.
ReplyDeletexoRobyn
Priceless! Gotta love a girl who sets her goals and tackles them quickly.
ReplyDeleteI love kid's stories!!!! Now that Bella is reading, she is also writing tons too. Their imagination rocks!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat is one funny little girl.I totally love the dedication,lol.
ReplyDeleteToo too funny! I love your site, come and visit me soon!!
ReplyDeleteKarena
Art by Karena
great story for a young mind like that. thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of a penguin joke but it's not appropriate for grade school.
This real fun, the imagination an d openness of youth! I hope Mindy retains this creativity as she grows up.
ReplyDeleteThat's so funny and creative. A Panda, a Penguin, a Tree house and Mr. Cheeseboy. What else does a story need?
ReplyDeleteVery cute...:)
LOL! If that story had been written by an adult and not a child, the author in question would probably be drug tested. As it was a little girl, it was totally cute!
ReplyDeleteSo does the female teacher have really long fingernails and toenails or did she make this part up?
ReplyDeleteI drink way too much diet Mt. Dew too!
I love this bit:
ReplyDelete"Mrs. Charley was fighting Mr. Cheeseboy with her long toe and fingernails..."
doesn't sound like a fair fight: still you emerge rich and with a princess-penguin! Victory!
I imagine you are an amazing teacher!
You have the best job EVER!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a funny girl.
Do you think the money was because you were her life insurance beneficiary? And why did the other teacher have that nail issue? Is she scary?
This made my whole morning! As I'm sure whoever read your redbox letter would also say ;) It's nice of you to liven things up for them a bit!
The highlight for me:
ReplyDelete"...even worse she turned into a bull. Even better she turned into a Queen."
Wait. Is the "strong guy" you? I'm not so sure this little girl thinks you're THAT awesome if you got beat up in the end of the story.
ReplyDeleteBut, I think you're awesome.
That is so so so so cute!!!! I would have laughed too! :)
ReplyDeleteHow cute! Kids are hilarious, I still have most of the stories like this that my son wrote.
ReplyDeleteAnd how sweet that she has a teacher crush on you. :)
Watch out world, we've got out next Faulkner!
ReplyDeleteWhat a priceless story. Thanks for sharing because of the drivers in this town I needed a grin...I swear...people behind the wheel are the biggest threat to humanity.
ReplyDeleteHappy Wednesday.
Mary
haha that last part reminded me of Monty Python
ReplyDelete"she turned me into a newt!"..."i got better"
ps OSU = Ohio State University!! Woot woot!
That was AWESOME. Also, the text suggests there were illustrations. Where are the illustrations? I would very much like to see the accompanying pictures.
ReplyDeleteAnd they say kids today don't have any imagination! She'll either be a very famous author or movie director or we'll see her story on 20/20!
ReplyDeleteSort of a love/hate thing, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteFirst grader's stories are the best ever! So funny to see where their imagination takes them.
ReplyDeleteIf only our imaginations were that fueled in middle age..
ReplyDeleteawesome story. I like how you are her hero.
Long toe nails?! EUUWWW, Mindy...LOL...
ReplyDeleteForgot about Bridges in Pleasantville....
hahaha. I just read this after reading the "funniest story ever" by a certain 9 year old I know. Since the main character in his story is a jar of mayo, you can see Mindy might have some competition.
ReplyDeleteWhat a awesome teacher you are!! :)
PS: You have over 200 followers!!!
ReplyDelete:D
Mindy sounds like a star! This story was absolutely, laugh-out-loud, hilarious. She should publish these wonderful stories, I, for one, would buy them all :D
ReplyDeleteI love it!! :) Crap, I should've been a teacher.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story. I had a little korean boy who I tutored with a children's picture dictionary so that he could learn vocabulary. When the grade one class had their talent show he got up and named animals that came up on the screen as fast as I could advance the slides. He never missed a one until he got to the alligator. Now you have to imagine a thick Korean accent when he yelled 'ALLIGATOR' then in a soft voice and squinting his eyes he added "Yes, Alligator - but could be Crocodile". I never laughed so hard in my life.
ReplyDeleteI am guessing the $1,000,000,000 is Cheeseboy's $1 inheritance from 1 billion dead pandas. Ewwww! W.C.C.
ReplyDeleteSo what are you going to do with the $1,000,000?
ReplyDeleteThis story is great! My kids write stuff like this. My daughter is currently writing a novel where the main characters are a rhinestone cowboy and a flying pig.
Awww. The Mindy sounds kind of awesome.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like one cool kid! I could tell just from her 'name'! ;)
ReplyDeletequite the imagination. I'm pretty sure there aren't any students and you are writing these things yourself impersonating kids that don't exist.
ReplyDeleteThat is pretty impressive! Yes, be that teacher who recognizes her creativity and potential (I know you already are); all of us budding writers wish that we had a teacher like that growing up.
ReplyDeleteI want to have a 7-year-olds imagination again....
ReplyDelete