Questions I have asked the Facebook Admins

Recently I discovered a way of contacting Facebook to notify them of troubles you might be experiencing with their hallowed site.  As a result of this discovery, I have asked my share of questions.  Here is a small sampling:

- Hello.  Sometimes when I post a status update, my friend Mitchell is the only one that ever responds.  Could there be a problem with my feed or is Mitchell messing with me somehow?  Cause I hate that guy!  Should I de-friend him? Thoughts?

- Hi Facebook people.  I posted as a status update that I was de-friending Mitchell and he responded that he wants his litter box back.  He doesn't even have a cat anymore!  Lots of people have been commenting that I should give Mitchell back his litter box so my previous concern is no longer valid.  I thank you for your time in this matter.

- Hello.  I seem to be having a problem with my friend count.  I am currently stuck at 598.  I have been at 598 for almost TWO WEEKS!  I dropped Mitchell as a friend and I am STILL at 598. (I added Barbara.) There must be a bug or something.  Do you need screen shots?

- Yes. Hello. I have been having problems "liking" things.  For example, in real life I "like"candy bars.  On Facebook, I like candy bars, but I can't exactly eat them there, you know?  Is there a way to "like" something that you can't really have?  I don't know.  At my house, I go to my cupboard and pull out a candy bar and then say "like".  On Facebook, it's the exact opposite, I like something and then I end up with nothing.  It just seems very counterproductive to me.

- I heard that if you say "Tiger's Blood" three times while looking at your Facebook wall, your profile picture turns into Charlie Sheen.  Is this true?

- I have another "like" problem that I would like you to address.  I have all these female friends that I like, but I am married, which causes some problems.  I mean, I like these women, but I don't like like them, you know?  I feel awkward about clicking "like".  Maybe there could be a "Like, but not like like, you know?" button.

- Hi again.  Yes, I am thinking my poke finger might be broken.  I click on it all the time and nothing happens. Is something supposed to happen? It seems like something should happen.

- Hello "friends".  When I die, I would like my Facebook picture promptly removed - but I'd like a reminder of my love for my friends posted to all of their walls. (Not Mitchell!)  Maybe a post of a virtual flower or a kitten sitting in a sink holding a little note that says, "Abe's Dead"?  Is this possible?

Also, I may or may not actually give you a warning note letting you know that I am passing away, so you might have to check the obituaries.  If you get a message from me that seems half-written, you can just assume I am gone and follow through with this plan.

- Hello. I'm wearing glasses in my current profile picture. I no longer wear glasses.  Is there a way to edit out the glasses?

- Still having problems with my friend count.  It was at 599 for a day or so, but then went back down to 598.  Maybe you could "loan" me like 100 fake friends or so just so I can get off 598?  (Mitchell has 612.  It'd kill him if I got more!)

- Hi, I've been on Facebook for three years now and every time I try and access